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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the coach resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christy Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy-filled Catholic. And I am the Catholic sobriety coach. And I am so glad you're here. Okay, can we talk about my husband's Christmas party for a second? I keep thinking about something that happened there last year, and I want to talk about it because it relates to today's episode. So his firm had a Christmas party at a really nice restaurant. It had fancy napkins. It had a gorgeous view of the city. And of course, they had a signature cocktail for the night. And it was, I don't know, it was like some kind of espresso martini kind of thing, which, you know, I always look at those and I'm like, oh, that looks fun. But it's fine. I've been to so many of these events and I know the drill. And I'm usually the one holding seltzer with cranberry and lime, and I'm fine with it. And what's really interesting is that so often the bartender acts like I've asked for something so extravagant or like it's beneath them to even make my very simple drink. But this time, right next to the signature cocktail, they had a mock tail version. The same idea, just no alcohol. And it's the first time that I ever saw one at one of my husband's Christmas parties. So I was really excited and I ordered it. And the bartender starts opening things up because I was the first and I don't know, maybe the only person to order it. But he starts pulling out these bottles. He can't find one of the non-alcoholic spirits. And so I'm like, oh, don't worry about it. Cause I don't want to be a problem. So I'm just like, don't worry about it. Whatever you have is fine, or I'll just take a cranberry with lime. And he's like, no, I want to make it for you. So he finds the bottle, he makes the drink, and he was actually really excited about it. And he told me, please come back and tell me how you like it. And I gotta tell you, it was great. It was really good. And then a lady that was sitting next to me, one of my husband's uh co-workers, she was sitting next to me and she had the cocktail and I had the mocktail, and we were just kind of like comparing them and our glasses and stuff. And it was really fun. I felt fancy. He told me that he would make another one for me. But honestly, after one, I was good because you know, those kind of drinks can have a lot of sugar in it. And I just one satisfied me. But here's what got me. He made that drink like it counted, like I counted. Like I wasn't putting him out or asking him to do something that, again, other bartenders have made me feel like they thought what I was asking was beneath them to make. And I have to tell you, when I got sober almost 30 years ago now, your options at a party were O'Dools or a Shirley Temple. Like that's about it, or a soda. That was the menu. And please, no disrespect to O'Duls because they got me through a lot of situations. But nobody is excited to make you a Shirley Temple. They're just not. But I have to tell you, something has shifted. And you'll know, you'll see it if when you go to restaurants, if you go in like the alcohol section of you know, stores and even liquor stores, you will now see a wide variety of non-alcoholic options. And that's what I want to talk about today, and about why it might be a much bigger deal for you than just having a nicer drink menu. Every summer, Gallup, you know, Gallup polls, they ask Americans if they drink alcohol. And they've been doing this since like 1939. And I just saw an article like just that this year only 54% of American adults said yes that they drink alcohol. That ties last year for the lowest number the Gallup has ever recorded in almost 90 years of asking. Back in 2023, it was 62%. That's actually an eight-point drop in just two years for a number that has held very steady for decades. And what's changed even more is what people believe about it. 51% of adults now say one or two drinks a day is actually bad for your health. Back in 2001, only about a quarter of adults said that. So the whole a glass of red wine is good for your heart thing, the culture has mostly let that go. Hallelujah. I'm so, so happy for that. And you know, it's it's all due to education and people like me and so many others that are doing such a better job and reaching so many more people are changing hearts and minds and getting out true information. Like Dr. Andrew Huberman says, do what you want, but please know what you're doing. So know what alcohol does. Anyway, back to the poll. Gallup also asked about non-alcoholic drinks for the very first time this year. And among people who already drink NA options, almost four in 10 said that they are drinking more of them than they used to. I mean, again, you can see it in the stores, you can see it on restaurant menus. And actually, one menu tracking firm found that mocktails and zero-proof drinks on US restaurant menus grew more than 50% in a single year. And I can attest to it, restaurants that I have frequented for years all of a sudden have more mocktails and NA options than ever before. And one more number, because I know who's listening in my audience, among women who drink, 54% say wine is what they drink most. For adults, 55 and up, wine is the top pick. That's not really surprising to me because when I talk to women, they're usually saying that wine is the thing that they struggle with most. But here is the one fact that just stopped me in my tracks. Gallup looked at drinking by religion. 20 years ago, 79% of Catholics said they drank. And now it's 55%. Catholics used to drink noticeably more than Protestants. And today, according to Gallup's own analysis, Catholics are one of the biggest reasons that the numbers are falling. Good job, fellow Catholics. And it's not just what we're doing, it's what we believe. In that same Gallup data, more than half of Catholics say that even a drink or two a day is bad for you. So if you've ever felt like the only Catholic woman at the parish festival, the parish event, the mom's group, or the prayer group wondering about her wine, you are not. You're not even close. So if the evening glass of wine is your thing, the data sees you. You're right in the middle of this. And by the way, I am not just pulling these numbers out of thin air. I will have links to every source in the show notes so that you can look at them for yourself. So why now? I think the story that we were sold about alcohol is just getting harder to believe because for decades it was sold as relaxation, reward, celebration, connection, the thing that loosens you up at the party, the thing that you've earned after a long day. And now people are starting to read the fine prints. They're starting to realize the truth and the facts. That glass that supposedly relaxes you at seven is actually the reason that you are wide awake at 3 a.m. with your heart palpitating. And that, my friend, is just chemistry. Alcohol calms the brain down. And when the alcohol wears off, the pushback is still there, and that's your 3 a.m. It's also affecting your liver because your liver's trying to process it out. It's also affecting your glucose levels. I mean, it's not great. So thinking it helps me sleep, sure, it helps you fall asleep, but then it messes up the deep restorative part of your sleep. So you're just waking up tired and you can't figure out why. Oh, yeah. And then there's some brain fog in there too, which is nobody's friend. The reward, this is a sneaky one. The reward your brain is chasing mostly happens before the first sip. We've talked about this before. It's the wanting, it's the planning, it's the even the negotiating and the anticipating. The four o'clock thinking about it. And the glass itself, when you finally get home and pop open your bottle, is usually a little less than what it promised, which is why you go back for the second one. And the connection, the connection with others that we think that we get through alcohol, well, the conversations, those are a little fuzzy the next morning. And then we start to think, oh, wait, what did I say? What did we talk about? And so once you see what it's taking, instead of just focusing on what it's giving you, that's really hard to unsee. Now, here's another thing. And truly, everyone is saying it right now. You can't scroll for five minutes without another actor or musician saying that they've quit. And this is great. I love that people are speaking out about it. And then there's this whole genre of books called Quit Lit. And the shelf there, it's growing and growing and growing. And women are talking about it online. They are talking about it out loud. They're using their real names, they're putting their faces on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube. And here's the other thing: parents are talking about it too. We're talking to our kids about alcohol instead of just letting them figure it out for themselves or thinking, oh, well, you know, they're gonna make their own choices. It's it's something that we can talk to our kids about in a way that, you know, it wasn't talked about before because we have more information than our parents did at the time as we were coming of age. Now, all of this to say, I'm not big into following celebrities, and I'm not telling you to change your life because someone famous did, but I will tell you what all of this does. It takes away the shame, it takes away the darkness, and it takes away the cover. So for a long time, everybody drinks did a lot of quiet work for us because that is what we would tell ourselves. Well, everybody drinks like this, or everybody does this. And if that's true, if everybody drinks, well, then I never have to ask whether my drinking is working for me because culture has already answered that. Wine at the book club, wine at the baby shower, and let's be honest, and a beer tent at the parish festival right next to the bounce house. Most parishes aren't dry. I'm not saying that's wrong, but I'm saying it's part of why it never even occurred to a lot of us to question it. But now half the country is questioning it. Catholics are questioning it. The restaurant has a whole amazing menu for people who aren't drinking. The bartender is excited to make you something. So the excuse is gone. And that can go one of two ways. It can either feel threatening or it can feel like relief. Because what it leaves with you is this question is this actually doing for me what I want it to? And I'll tell you what I hear when most women start asking that question. And these are patterns that I see over and over, not in any one person. Some of them read the research and they think, okay, I can't pretend I didn't see that. Some of them watched a friend quit and noticed that she seemed lighter, more joyful, more herself. And they thought, wait, what does she know that I don't? Or I want that. A lot of them hit perimenopause or menopause, and their body has just stopped cooperating. Those two glasses that used to be nothing now mean extra hot flashes, a racing heart at 3 a.m., and a very rough, foggy brain tomorrow. And almost all of them talk about a gap. It sounds like I pray every morning, I'm at mass on Sunday, I am disciplined about everything else in my life. But then at five o'clock, there's this one thing I just can't manage. And that that gap bothers them. And it's been bothering them for a while. So here's where I want to go a step further than culture goes. The culture's version of this story is you see the trade-off, you do the math, and you change. And for some people, that totally works. But I know you. You're smart. You've read the articles, you did the math, you've been doing the math every afternoon for years. Should I? Shouldn't I? I'll just have one. I'll skip tomorrow. It's Friday. It's been a week. That negotiation isn't you failing to see the trade-off. It's not you not knowing what to do, but that negotiation is the habit. And that's how it keeps coming back, which tells me this was never really about information for you. So again, think about what alcohol promised you relaxation, reward, celebration, connection. Something that marks the end of the day as yours. Those aren't bad things to want, those are good desires, and God put them there. You were made for rest. You were made for his delight, for feasting, and for real connection. Jesus didn't have a problem with wine. His first miracle was making more of it and the good stuff at a wedding. The problem was never that you wanted rest. The problem is where you were told to get it. And alcohol is a counterfeit. And counterfeits only work because they look like something real. Nobody counterfeits a three dollar bill because there isn't one. So the question isn't only what is this costing me? It's what am I asking this glass to do? What job am I giving it? And what is God trying to give me instead? Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. He didn't say, here's a tip for winding down. He said, Come to me. So where does that leave the beautiful mock tail? I loved it. I want you to have it. Go to the Christmas party this year. Order the fancy thing and let the bartender be excited about it. You don't have to stand in the corner with a club soda feeling like you're being punished anymore. That's the real gift. But I'd be lying to you if I said that drink in the glass is the whole answer. It's not. Five o'clock is still the moment the day finally becomes yours. And the only thing that's changed is what's in the glass. The question is still sitting there waiting for you. Yeah, a nicer glass can make it easier. It's a tool, but it cannot do the deeper work. So here's where I'll leave you. For years, everybody drinks meant you never had to ask whether your drinking was really working for you. But now the everybody doesn't drink, that question lands right back in your lap. You can feel that as pressure. Or you can hear it as a beautiful invitation. Because the world is cutting back for its health. And that's a very, very good thing. But you get to do this for a deeper reason. You get to find out what you are actually reaching for and let him meet you there. So if you're sitting with that question and you want somewhere to start, grab my sacred sobriety kickstart. It's free, it's five short videos delivered over five days, and it's built exactly for you. For the one who's done the math, for the one that knows something's off and wants to understand what's actually going on in her mind, body, and soul. The links are in the show notes. And if you're thinking ahead to the holidays, the parties, the new years, keep your ears open because my soberish advent and new year reset is coming, and I'll have more on that soon. I will talk to you again next week. Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic Sobriety.