Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christie Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and I'm so glad you're here.

 If you've been around here for any length of time, you've heard me say probably more than a handful of times, you don't need alcohol, but you do need something. And often I think that something is nervous system regulation. So today we are going deep on that and to do that, I brought back a guest who was with us a couple of years ago, way back in episode 89.

Her name is Brigid Tebaldi. Brigid Tebaldi is a wife, mother of five, a homeschooling mom and a board certified health coach. She specializes in what she calls spiritual somatic rewiring. It's a framework that can combines nervous system repair with the truth of sacred scripture to create a permanent root level transformation.

She works with entrepreneurial moms who are still doing everything right and still feeling like the next level is just out of reach. Through her rewired and wealthy framework, she helps women trace those stuck patterns back to where they started and rewire them where they actually live in the body, the spirit.

The nervous system. Bridget, welcome back. I'm so glad to have you here. Yeah, so excited to be here. Thanks again for having me. Yeah. So can you just tell us a little bit about your journey and what led you to become a nervous system coach, specifically for Christian women? Yeah, for sure. Okay, so first off, I do want to preface this with I'm a mom of many kids.

Many kids. We have five under nine and under, so there's a lot going on. And then I also run two businesses. And so, and we live on a farm. And so I think this has always just for me, been something that I've had to do and not even really realized it because otherwise I would literally go crazy. And so this is again, just, this is how I live now.

And what, so again, I just wanted to throw that out there because I think that's really important to know. Like. This is a way that you can act. It's a sustainable way that you can actually live. Now let's back up a little bit. I started, um, I was a horse trainer for a really long time, and if you know anything about horses, you have to be very calm and patient and like, because they read every single thing that you do, even if you look at them funny, like they're gonna pick up on that.

So you really have to be keyed into like what your body is doing. 'cause you're going to directly influence how they behave. And so that was a huge piece of this puzzle for me as well is like, is that whole re regulation in regards to horses. And then I was like, okay, I have a lot of kids doing the horse thing is getting rather difficult, so I need to figure out something else.

And God led me to online business and I really, I love birth, like I love it so much. And so I got into the online business space years ago helping women with traumatic birth experiences to really heal from those. I was walking them through my framework because I went through my own thing and I was able to heal from that.

And what I was realizing is that all of these women kept coming in and they, yes, they were scared of maybe like another hemorrhage or like another C-section or whatever, but at the core of it, none of them felt safe in their own bodies and. So after a little while, it's like, why do they not feel safe in their own bodies?

And then like, kind of really trying to figure out what's going on there and realized like, oh, and like we talked about it, but I didn't put the, the right words to it, to like, to connect the dots where it was like, oh, their nervous systems are shot because they're always in that fight. Flight freezer, fawn, like always, not even just in birth, but in life in general.

That's whenever things started to really kinda shift into this direction of like, I wanna get to women before there's this, this thing that happens. And help them and give them the tools. Not to say that it's gonna be perfect all the time, but to give them to the tools to walk through it. Because so much of how birth was mirrors our life, right?

And so if we're a people pleaser in life, we're probably gonna be a people pleaser in labor, which does not work well and so on and so on. So again, it led to this journey and like a lot of discernment and kind of shifting things into really supporting women, especially those like entrepreneurial women who are like building something.

I always say building something beautiful for God like Mother Teresa and um, and teaching them that their nervous system is their number one asset in life, in business. Because if they're feeling stressed and fried and just like. So overwhelmed with everything. Mm-hmm. They're not gonna be able to see the beauty and the joy and like really become that woman that God wants them to be.

And so that's where I am now. We're really helping women. Again, a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of them are entrepreneurs, whether it be like authors, they have their own small businesses, they do it, whatever, and just helping them to become that woman that can hold their family. That and can also hold this big ambition that God has put on their heart.

And it's just been such, such, it's been so beautiful. Yeah, that's, I love that. And I love the work, um, that you're doing now. I loved the work that you were doing before and, um, I think that making that connection is so important. And that's something that I've come across lately too, because women will say, you know, I can't.

Calm down. I can't shut off my brain. I need to like. Have something that helps me relax in the evening or, or maybe their evenings feel boring, you know, whatever it is. And at the heart of it, I really think that it is that nervous system dysregulation from everything that happens during the day, right?

And, and if you are a business owner or you work, um, outside the home, inside the home, have lots of littles, all of those things, you know, you're making a ton of decisions. You're managing emotions and all those things. So, of course. You're gonna need something, right? Yeah. And so that's why I had to have you on, because I know that you're gonna really, really help my audience and you know, in addition to all of the women, the Lord brings to you to help as well.

Um, so for someone who has never heard the term nervous system regulation, which is kind of shocking about not hearing it, 'cause I feel like it's almost like a buzzword now. Absolutely. Like we're all hearing about it. Yeah. But can you explain what that actually means? Um, just kind of in everyday language?

'cause we might hear that, but just not really understand what it means too. Yeah, for sure. Okay. So let's kind of go back to. When you were in middle school or high school and you probably had to take some biology or anatomy class, and you learned about the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system.

I'm not gonna get into like a class class here, but just kind of bring yourself back there. And the central nervous system again is like the brain and the spinal cord, peripherals, the peripheral, everything else. And you probably heard some of them say something like, whenever you're chased by a bear or a lion.

That kicks on your nervous system so that you can run faster, so that you can get away from that, like the danger. And so that's how a lot of us learn about the nervous system. And then we kind of forgot about it. 'cause it's like we never get chased by lions and bears in this day and age. So hopefully, hopefully, yes.

And so it's like we just forgotten information 'cause it's not something that we deemed necessary to understand. But what's really important to know is that. The nervous system is really just what is scanning the environment, almost. Think of it like your subconscious. It's a little more complicated than that, but just think of it like your subconscious, which is always looking around you.

It's always listening. It's always trying to take in data and information so that it can best provide protection for you. 'cause that's ultimately our body's way of staying alive is to stay safe, right? And so the nervous system's main job is to keep you safe. So again, most of us are not being chased by wild animals anymore.

Thanks be to God. But a lot of us are living in very high stress, complicated environments, and what's interesting is that our nervous systems cannot tell the difference between a lion chasing us and being stuck in traffic or getting that email from maybe a client or like maybe somebody calling you that you really don't wanna talk to.

Whenever you can understand it like that, where it's like, okay, it's just trying to keep me safe. Why does my nervous system perceive maybe this call or this email or being stuck in traffic as unsafe? Just like it would perceive if a lion was chasing you or if you fell out of a tree or like you had to run to your kid because they fell off the playground or something like that.

And so like that's sort of the. Very, very basic of it is, again, your nervous system is there to scan the environment and it does this subconsciously so that it can just keep you safe in whatever environment you are currently in. So for a woman who is like, well, I think that. Probably my nervous system is dysregulated because that's how I feel like, I feel like I'm being chased by a bank, whether when I'm scrolling Instagram and I see something, yeah, that like it makes me sad or upset, or it is like an email from someone, or you know, your child is hurt or something happens.

What does that feel like? Where she can say, oh, that's what an overloaded nervous system feels like in my body. There. And because really it's like, I, the way I explain it to women is like, you'll feel like an alarm is going off mm-hmm. In your body. Um, yeah. Yeah. So what, how would you explain how it actually feels though?

Yeah, it's a really good question. Um, and so it's gonna be a little bit different for every single person. 'cause obviously our body reactions are different. A lot of people will start to feel like they can't take a deep breath. So their chest starts to feel heavy. Maybe they have that feeling of like an elephant sitting on it.

They might start to want to say something and their voice just like, it works, but like it doesn't work. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Where it's like it doesn't, it's not able to express it confidently and it's not able to say what it really wants to say. It could mean that your shoulders get really tight, your neck hurts, you get headaches, your back hurts.

Some people. Even get like pelvic floor issues because they either like hold their core so tight together and then they like totally release it later on where we need to have that more of like that subtle contraction all the time. Um, so again, it could, again, the chest is a huge one. Voice, neck, back, shoulders, core breathing, um, headaches again, some pelvic floor issues, things like that.

Um, those are the main ways that a lot of women see it. Okay. And then what about like, um, you know, sometimes we get a little bit snappy too, and so I feel like some women turn to alcohol, not just to relieve that and like. Rest their nervous system a little bit or get that relief. But I feel like sometimes I've heard women say like, I do it because I'm a better parent, because I find that I'm so snappy and it relaxes me.

So I can like take in more so like physiologically, like what's happening in those moments. Yeah. So we have the physical side of things where again, you might get those like constrict constrictions in your chest breathing, things like that. But then you also have. Other side of it too, of like the more relational or how it's mana, like how it's actually showing up.

And it could be like the snapping at your children or your husband. It could be that. Again, I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, so this is a really common one where they feel so much urgency that like maybe they didn't hit the, the right number at each month. They didn't, um, bring in enough sales or whatever.

And so what happens is that they feel like they have to like throw something together in order to create more sales, um, or. It could, again, just be any sort of, anything where you look back on it and you're like, what was I doing? Like, why did I do that? Or maybe you're not even looking back on it. But sometimes people, they're, they know physically, like they know mentally, they're like, Bridget, stop doing this.

Like, as they're yelling at their kids or as they're doing something or as they're sending that email or that text message or whatever. But they're like, I wanna do it anyway. Like, I'm so, I'm so like Ragy right now. And it's like, it's almost the way that, the best way to think about it is whenever we have two parts of our brains, again, very much simplifying this, we have the prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking part of our brain, and then we have the primitive part of our brain that's like the amygdala, hippocampus, things like that.

When you have, when you're in a restful state, your thinking part of your brain is going to be on. Meaning that you are going to be able to logically think through something in a relaxed, calm manner. Things are not gonna feel urgent. Everything's gonna feel like it'll be okay. Even if it's like a crazy situation, like everything will be fine.

And there's just this feeling of like, it's all gonna be okay. And there's that logic to it. Versus if you're in the state of either chronic or acute, um, dysregulation, then it's gonna feel like. Urgency, danger, I have to do this right now. If I don't do this right now, then bad things will happen. And again, you might logically be like, I know bad things are gonna happen, but it feels like bad things are gonna happen.

That is that, that's a huge sign that you are in that dysregulated state. And so really it's, again, you're able to tell because it's like you get the email, you think like, Hmm, I probably shouldn't send this to her even though I'm really frustrated. So let me sit for a minute, type out what I want, maybe erase it, type it again, read through it, and then send it versus, and that's like the regulated state versus you get the email and you're like, this is terrible.

Like, why are you doing this, blah, blah, blah, whatever it is, sending it. And then immediately being like, why did I just do that? Where's the undo button? Where's the unsend? Like, that's sort of how it shows up. And I do wanna really emphasize it's very normal to go through. These are stages. It's not good for us to always be a hundred percent regulated, just like our, think of it like your immune system.

If your immune system was never challenged, it's never gonna grow, right? Or get stronger. Same thing with your nervous system, where if you're always a hundred percent regulated, you're never, that means that you're not really pushing yourself and you're not increasing your capacity to hold more. So the important thing comes when you're able to move from that dysregulated again, that urgent, that like, ugh, feeling into the regulated pretty easily.

Mm-hmm. So you might have the email come in and you might immediately get that sense of like, uh, I don't wanna answer this, or like, what just happened. But then how quickly are you able to shift into that cognitive thinking of like, okay, everything's okay. If it happens pretty quickly, then that means that you're generally regulated.

If it takes a while and you might have regrets after what you do after, that probably means that you're dysregulated. So again, just remember that it's like it's very normal to move through these things. What's important is how quickly you can move out of the dysregulation back into that regulation.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's hopeful that to know like you can move in between and the more you practice it, the easier it gets. I'm sure. Of course. And I appreciated that you said too, like the goal is not to be a hundred percent regulated like all the time. And that's true with like the work I do too. You have to come against discomfort for sure to grow.

Like if we think of anything. We've accomplished or done in our lives that has been meaningful. There's always some level of discomfort in the beginning, but we are excited for it. Or we, you know, are, um, know that it's what we are supposed to do. We just kind of push through it. And so I think that, that, that's really good to know because I think sometimes we think, oh, I have to be completely regulated and peaceful at all.

It helps sometimes. I've written those emails too and then I've like, I can't get outta my head, so I'll put it in like chat GPT and be like, remove the tone and it's amazing how much better. Yeah. Well I was actually just sending a Voxer to a client this morning 'cause she's struggling with this. Like, she kind of has the, the feeling that a lot of women, especially a lot of Catholic women get, where it's like, if I am not suffering, then that means I'm not holy.

She was, she's been really struggling with that. And so we've been really working through like, okay, we need you to see that. Like Jesus wants you to be joyful. Yes, you're gonna have to carry your cross or like he's gonna help you carry the cross. But like we're still created to be like the Easter people like to be happy and to be joyful.

And what I was sending her this morning is like, think about children, right? We are God's children. And so therefore we, he says, let the little children come to me. And it's like, so he wants to come to, he wants us to come to him as children. And what are children like if they're, and obviously I'm thinking if they're raised in like a healthy environment and they're, they're loved and they have all their provisions and everything, children are generally very joyful.

They're able to express themselves freely. They don't think about how. If they're gonna look, if they do this or that, they just are in the present moment and they're very joyful on the same hand. They can go from like joyful to like crazy in a second. Right? It's true. And that's normal because that's their own nervous system learning how to regulate.

Mm-hmm. And then, but what's important is that in a, again, I don't love, I don't know how to say this, but in like a quote, healthy child, like one that is being raised in that loving environment. They're able to regulate back down into like if they're, if they're in that stressed and stress state, that activated state, they're able to regulate back down into that joyful, peaceful state pretty quickly usually.

So like say you go to the D, the donut shop or whatever, and they're like, I want this donut. And you as the mom are like, no, you're not gonna get this one. You're gonna get this one instead because of whatever. And the child at first might be like, no, I want this one. And you're like, no, you're gonna get this one.

They get mad and they're like, whatever. Again, in that healthy relationship, it probably only takes them a little bit to be like, okay, I'm not gonna get this donut. I'm gonna get this one instead. And for them to logically think through that, and so that sort of, if you can almost think about it like children as well, where it's like we're made to grow and to evolve and to go through these difficult situations that stretch us a little bit.

But then we're ultimately made to stay in this calm, regulated state. So yeah, just really think about if you're having trouble understanding it, think about those kids. Or are they, most of the time, like happy, joyful, peaceful, and then whenever they do get kind of crazy, are they able to regulate and come back down pretty quickly?

Mm-hmm. I like that. I like thinking of it in that way, and it's so true. So for my audience, they struggle with, most of them struggle with alcohol and maybe some other things that they use as comforts. I mean, we all have our things, right? Like, yeah, for sure. I have sugar and scrolling and things like that that I have to kind of, um, battle against too, but win those.

Urges come up or those, even that cue for a reward comes up. A lot of times it's not, well actually pretty much all the time, it's not actually the alcohol or the thing that they're looking for. They're looking for the feeling, the emotion, the reward that they'll get after they have it or after we have it and.

They're just looking, I think most of the time, and you can tell me if this is correct or not, I think really what they're looking for is something to regulate their nervous system. A lot of times sometimes it's self-medicating, coping, numbing, but in general, I think it's nervous system regulation that they're looking for.

Would you agree with that? Yeah, for sure. And I think that all of those are kind of grouped into the regulation and I like to think of, I'll just give a personal example. I really like chocolate and like ice cream and stuff like that. And so what I have sometime, and I had an eating disorder for five years.

So whenever I was healing from the eating disorder, I really had to figure out like, what is the root of what's going on with this? Why do, why do I, I want to not eat anything and then like eat a bunch and then like not eat anything and then work out a bunch and like do all these different crazy things.

And ultimately, and you know this, listening to this like. It's ultimately about control, right? But what is control actually trying to give you? Like what does, what does having control of something give you that feeling of safety, right? Yeah. And so if you are not feeling safe in your environment, in your situation, yeah.

You're gonna grab something that makes you feel like you have control of something, whether it be your phone, whether it be food, whether it be alcohol, whatever. Even if it's yelling at your kids, like that's a way to try to control things. So we really have to, instead of thinking of these things as like bad, because again, God made everything inherently good.

So nothing is bad necessarily. It's how we, how we use it. So like the chocolate and the ice cream aren't bad necessarily, but what is it? If I'm over consuming it or if I'm using it to kind of numb things, it's because I might be feeling a lack of safety. Now again, that lack of safety doesn't mean that I'm out in the wilderness and animals are around me.

It could mean that I had a really stressful day. My body is fried. I never gave my brain a break, and I'm feeling super overwhelmed, so therefore my body feels very unsafe. And so when in that moment I wanna reach for the chocolate or the ice cream or whatever, or maybe alcohol. And in that case, that's when you really want to go in and be like, my body's actually desiring safety, and this is where that cognitive brain kicks in.

My body's actually desiring safety. How can I make it feel safe right now in this moment? And that could be something like talking to your husband or spouse. That could be like going for a walk, that could be laying outside in the grass, looking up at the sky, taking a bath, reading a book, doing something that is actually going to regulate you.

And those most regulatory activities are going to be those things of walking movement, nutrition, um, connection. Relationships, things like that. Those are gonna be what are actually regulating, not this alcohol or food or scrolling or whatever that we actually think is regulating. And just really quick too with that, one of the big things that I teach is not just the regulatory tools.

'cause you can find those online. Like again, you can use AI now to just say like, how can I regulate myself? Right. Then the regulation is super, super important. It really is. But if you're not getting to the core root of why you are getting dysregulated, then it's just kind of a bandaid approach. And so what I really do is we get into the root of why you're dysregulated and we do this, I use the, uh, wounds of Jesus and like really go through these different things and help them to see like maybe that powerlessness or that abandonment that they're feeling and that they're trying to patch up by drinking or whatever.

It's actually rooted in something that happened when they were five or six years old and is now just showing up. And when you can heal that five or 6-year-old memory and like show that that break that nervous system pattern essentially, then it's no longer gonna have any hold over you, even now as an adult.

So I think that's really important to remember as well. Yeah, that it is very important. So many times I'll say like, you don't need alcohol, but you do need something. You're definitely needing something. So what I tell people is to ask the questions like, what am I feeling and what do I need right now?

And so, and I love that you brought up that. A lot of times it's our desire to control. And to, and that we're seeking safety. I hadn't heard of that before, but that, I mean, that's really what it is, right? We are seeking that. And so, um, yeah, they, they need something, but, and in that moment it feels like taking a swig out of a wine bottle is like, it's the only, the only moment that they have for themself during the day, or it's the thing that's gonna like help.

Regulate them for a minute, you know? Mm-hmm. Before they move on to the next thing, to cooking dinner to, yeah, sure. Helping manage emotions and things like that. So I think all of that is so good and important to think about and to realize, because I find that the more information that. My clients and women in general have people in general have the easier it is to say, like you were saying, just kind of stop and be like, okay, what's really going on here?

Yeah, for sure. Because when we just react, then we react and then we feel bad, and then we have shame and then we, you know, it's just like this vicious cycle. How does alcohol react with the nervous system? Oh, yes. Okay. Can I answer or can I give really quick example? Absolutely. Of what I was just saying before to touch on the alcohol piece there.

And so really quickly, let me just give you an example of how the, how these things, how these wounds that we have from our childhood show up in our adult life. Okay, so one day, this was a few months ago, my daughter asked for an apple. Now she's nine years old. She knows how to use a knife, but like obviously I don't really love her using a knife because I don't want her to chop her fingers off or somebody else's fingers off.

And so I was full, I was putting the laundry into the dryer and I was like, okay, gimme one second. I'll get you that apple, I promise. Just gimme a second. And in the meantime, she went and she got the apple, she got the knife, she got the cutting board, she cut the apple, she put it out in bowls and everything like that for her brothers.

I come out of doing laundry and I'm like, in my head I'm like, I was literally gone for 45 seconds. Like, how did you do this that quickly? Would you not have waited? And I got to the point where I was getting really irritated and again, I wasn't saying anything or doing anything 'cause I've done this work now.

So I kind of know the process of like how your body works with it and. What I said to myself is, I was like, what is this wound that is coming up for me right now? And what I noticed is that I was coming up, and again, this is specific where I teach, there, there's the different wounds of Jesus and liked how to bring them up and and heal them.

And so the wound that was really affecting me in that moment was this rejection that I was feeling because it was like, she doesn't need me anymore. Like so therefore I'm feeling rejected. And in that moment, it could have gone two ways. One of two ways I could have snapped at her and been like, why did you get the knife?

Why didn't you just wait for me? Why did you do this? Why did you do that? Like, why, why, why? But then what would that have done? It would've led to guilt on my part. Later on, it would've made her feel like, oh, I can't do this. Like, I'm not good at, I'm not good enough to be able to do this. I'm not responsible.

Things like that. Or I could go down the other road of, of saying something like, wow, you did like such a great job. Like I'm really proud of you. Like maybe next time just wait for me so I can maybe help you or get you the bulls or something. And so, because again, the work that I've done, I chose that second road where it was like I affirmed what she did.

I then put a little gentle correction in there, but really affirmed it. And then what happened from then on is one, she waited for me whenever she wanted an apple, but then two. The smile that she had whenever I said like, wow, you did a really great job. You're so responsible. Was like, oh, like, it was like priceless.

And so that's just a really quick example of like how healing these nervous system wounds that you have. I call it nervous system repair, can change everything because it's just a pattern interrupt that we have to do. So again, I just wanted to throw that out there to give you kind of a tangible example of how this works.

Mm-hmm. Um, but as far as. You mentioned alcohol and the nervous system, right? I think. Mm-hmm. Okay. So again, kind of go back to, depending on how many science classes you took, going back to, let's look at like the central nervous system again, that's the brain. Spinal cord. Alcohol is a depressant. Most people know that.

What happens, again, I'm not gonna get too much into the nitty gritty of it. We essentially, alcohol influences the nervous system through two different mechanisms. One of which. Is through an inhibit inhibitory neurotransmitter, which essentially just slows down neural activity and it produces that calming sedative effect.

That's that. That's the part that everybody likes because it feels good pretty quickly, right? Mm-hmm. And then we also have this other piece, which makes it even kind of more confusing for our bodies because again, it's that depressant and then. We also have this piece where the alcohol inhibits. Um, I think it's glutamate.

I think that's what it is, not that it matters for listeners necessarily, and that's further suppresses brain activity and communication. Okay, so in low doses over time, I mean, is it gonna make a huge, huge difference? I mean, it depends. Low doses are gonna lead to like the slow, reactive time, lower inhibition, impaired judgment, things that we, we know alcohol does from a nervous system perspective.

That prefrontal cortex, again, that won the logical part, the responsible for decision making A is going to be very vulnerable in that time because the prefrontal cortex deals with judgment, impulse control, planning, everything like that. Now, as we go more and more into drinking. Things are going to get even more slurred.

And I mean that many ways where you're gonna have different parts of your brain being affected as well. So the, the blackouts that come, or the hippocampus literally not forming a memory. And that is a nervous system response because, just to back up a second, whenever you do not have a memory of something, that is because your body, your nervous system has deemed that it's not necessary for us to.

Put that in, uh, to encode that as a memory. There's more important things going on, like staying alive than to encode a memory. And so by drinking it again affects that memory formation because our bodies deem that memory formation is not a priority right now. And then obviously we know about how it affects coordination and things like that.

And then as far as the, um, brainstem, which is again, as part of your central nervous system that's gonna control your heart rate and your breathing. Again, low doses. It's not gonna necessarily do too much, but as you get higher doses of it, that's going to affect breathing heart rate, which then obviously affects everything else.

Then we have the different peripheral nervous system issues as well, where this can literally leave or lead to like neuropathy, which is essentially like, it kills the nerves in your hands, your toes, your legs, things like that. And so there's many different. Diseases and like, sorry, syndromes and things like that.

But I mean, it affects everything that we put into our body, affects our nervous system. And alcohol, again, because of its depressive properties, really affects it. 'cause it just slows everything down so much. Yeah. Thank you for explaining that. And I never knew really why blackouts happened, so I'm a Yeah.

I'm happy that you explained that, that. Um, you know, and it usually happens when we've had way, way, way too. I mean, I used to experience blackouts. And really, when you experience blackouts, that's generally a sign that alcohol is like a problem for you? Yeah, in a big way. But, um, just realizing like what that means, like it means that your body is trying to stay alive.

Worse than it is trying to remember. Yes. A memory. And then that should, I mean, if I had known that back then, I don't know if it would've changed my mind or not, but I feel like knowing that would be like, oh my gosh. My body was like trying to protect me and keep me alive. And I just kept drinking.

Drinking. I've heard, I don't know if you've heard this from people too, where they're like, I can't remember big parts of my childhood. They just don't remember. Like they know that things happened. Mm-hmm. But they don't remember it. There's, that's the nervous system response as well, because again, their body perceived as a child even that it's more important to stay alive and to stay safe than it is to encode memories to your brain, right?

And so that's why, or whenever there's a trauma or anything like that, that's why a lot of times those people have no memory of it. Now, sometimes it can go the opposite direction and you can like really encode like a really like intense memory. More often it's that it's just gone. Mm-hmm. And you don't remember it 'cause your brain thought that it wasn't important to take the time and the energy and the resources.

'cause the brain takes up a lot of energy and if it's, it's not gonna allocate that energy towards memory production and imprinting if there's a bear to be chase or to be run away from, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And I like, I am glad that you went back and told that story.

Okay. About your daughter too, because. Inner healing is a big part of the work that I do with clients too. And we talk a lot about it because so many times we're trying to fill a wound or heal a wound with alcohol or other things. 'cause like you were saying, safety, right? We're looking for safety. And so, you know, it all comes down to all of those different aspects of inner healing.

So I'm glad that you mentioned. That because, you know, it's all connected. It's just all connected, mind, body, and, and soul. But one thing that I think might be helpful, uh, for you to talk about is like, and what I hear so often is like, well, I've removed alcohol, but I just am so anxious, so on edge, like all these other things are coming up for me and I don't really know how to.

Manage it without alcohol and you know, it's because it's, that's been the thing for so long. Yeah. You know, you, you feel a certain way, you feel like your body's response and then you just know like, I'll have alcohol and then that will help. So what is, what is happening here for her, and then what does she actually need?

You've kind of talked about it before, but I think it'd be good just to revisit that. Yeah. I mean, one big thing to remember too is like alcohol literally. It is going to. So we have these things in our body called neurotransmitters, and if you've had a baby, you probably have heard about like oxytocin and pitocin and things like that.

But the neurotransmitters are essentially what are, they're going to take the message from your, from your external environment in your nervous system, and they're gonna transport them to the brain, which then the brain decides what to do with those things, with those messages. It works super well most of the time.

Whenever you take Al, whenever you drink alcohol or even different kinds of foods or medications or anything like that, some of them, not all of them, some of them will actually take the place of your body's neurotransmitters. And so they send a similar signal but not the exact signal that we need. Right.

And so like, again, I'll just, 'cause I'm kind of a birth nerd, let's just stick with oxytocin and Pitocin, for example. Oxytocin is the body's natural form of like that love hormone, that bonding hormone that is really string birth. That's what allows women to feel really connected to their babies and or with their husbands or whatever.

Pitocin is similar, but it's a synthetic form and so there's a couple of different things on it that are just slightly different. The body is so smart, like God created us. So it's amazing, and it can tell the difference between the synthetic oxytocin and the natural form of oxytocin, synthetic pitocin, sorry.

And it sends a similar signal, but again, very different in terms of the end result. So that's why if women listening and you were augmented with Pitocin, you might've been like, that was the worst labor in my entire life. The pain was horrible, it never stopped. Versus if you weren't augmented with Pitocin, your body went through this normal process of like large contraction and then a break, and then a large contraction and a break.

Because our body has this wisdom in the tus, and that says like, okay, we're really gonna give it all and then we're gonna take a rest and we're really gonna give it all and take a rest. And so just remember like whenever you're drinking alcohol or again taking drugs or using certain types of foods or whatever.

That some of those things are literally taking the place of the natural neurotransmitters, which that's going to affect things like your anxiety, your stress levels, um, migraines, sleep, all of these different things. And so the other important thing to remember too is our gut is so, so important for our brain to work properly.

And so alcohol's really hard on your digestive system. And so are other foods and things like that too. And if you're in the state of chronic stress that compounds the effects that alcohol is gonna have on your gut, which then makes things worse on your brain, right? And so it's this huge circle that's very complicated.

But essentially what you really wanna do is you need to figure out first, like you were mentioning, what you do with your clients. Like understand what alcohol was managing. So were you using it for that social connection to sleep? Because you're bored. 'cause you wanna kind of check out for the day or you have really bad anxiety.

Like if, once you can identify that, then you can start to go into like, okay, what's something that I can do to replace this? So you could do things like deep breathing exercise, different prayer, like therapy, journaling, whatever it is that you want to do. Maybe even some diet changes, magnesium, melatonin, things like that.

Then from there, just really recognizing that like whatever alcohol is doing, whether it's calming the nerves, making the social feel, fear kind of go away. There is a healthier tool that targets the exact same need. You just have to identify your reason and then find the right strategy to that. And again, I always do like that and heal the root of why your body feels the needs you even have.

That reason in the first place. Hopefully that answered your question. Yeah, it does. It does. So, because you're a Christian nervous system coach, I was just wondering, what would you say to a woman who like feels like her inability or her dysregulation not only keeps her from God, but maybe even somehow.

Like a lack of faith, you know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. Because we can be so hard on ourselves, and so it's like, oh, if I just prayed harder or I just did this more like, what's wrong with me? Like, what would you say to her? Yeah. I mean, this is a huge thing. And so, um, I talk about this a lot in my content because this is the, it is so huge.

Obviously God's, this is our, the main thing in our, or should be the main thing in our lives. And so right now, if you're feeling like. You pray all the time, you desire to be so holy, but you're just feeling like kind of all alone or abandoned or like what's the point of doing all of this? That is also a nervous system response because if you're always feeling like you pray.

God's not really listening to you. Like he's not, he's not saying anything. He's not, he's not there. Or at least, like, again, logically you might know that he's there, but like you don't feel like he's there with you. And again, it's a nervous system response because your brain feels so overwhelmed. And so, um, like it, it always has to be striving and, and doing all the things that it doesn't feel safe enough to even like, put down that guard and to surrender and say like, and actually mean like.

I can't do all of this. Like, you need to take care of this. And not to say that it's ever gonna be, I mean, some of us might be graced with, um, those like beautiful saint stories that we hear about where like we see Mama Mary come and like, there's angels all around. Like that'd be amazing. And some of us might be called to live more like Mother Theresa, where she had that really kind of desolate, dry, I forget the exact word she used, but that dry prayer life.

But she knew. God was always there. So it's kind of a complex issue because we don't know which, like what God is calling us to, whether we just are having that nervous system response and it's like we just need to kind of push through it or have we healed the nervous system response, but we're being called like Mother Teresa to really have that, like the well's gonna be dry and you just are gonna have to be the one to, to like stand guard for it.

And so the only way that you can really know that is by doing the. Nervous system repair and then the continuation of the re the regulation so that you can really be like, I'm, I'm sure that I've gi I'm giving everything to him. And if he is choosing not to truly reveal himself to me, then I have to trust that that's for a purpose.

And when you can trust, 'cause I, truthfully, I have been in this space of like kind of dryness for like 10 years. Actually more than that, probably like 15 years now. I go to daily mass multiple times a week. We receive sacraments a lot. It's like do all the quote right things, pray every day. Rosary journal, like all the things.

And again, it's been, it's a very, very dry time. And I know that some days it is that nervous system response, but other days I know it's not because I've done this work where it's like. Like, I know that God's there and like I can feel the joy and the presence, but it just is like, this is what he's called me to, is this dryness.

Because I've, I, one time I experienced where it wasn't dry and I was like, this is amazing. Like, can it be like this every day? And so I think it's just a matter of, again, like you need to really heal whatever these stories you're telling yourself and whatever you learned as a child. And then from there you'll be able to actually know.

Is this a dry time in my spiritual life or have I been blocking God out? Because God's always there. He always is, is ready for us to, he's never out of sight or out of re we're usually the ones keeping, we are always the ones keeping him out. So yeah, once you figure out that nervous system response, it's like, I can feel that he's there, but I just can't quite touch 'em yet.

And like that's how some people are. Whereas other people again, have that really zealous like beautiful. On fire. So it just kind of depends on the personally. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I think that's gonna be so encouraging for women because I hear that, you know, like I feel like I'm going through a desert right now, or I feel like I just don't feel God, you know, close to me right now.

But like you said, just knowing he's always with you and he's always there and just invite him in and keep inviting him in and know that he's there is so. So beautiful. And just like your testimony of knowing that he's there and seeing it, you know, through the work that you've been doing, but just even you just saying like, he's just like not, it seems quite a little bit outta reach.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I know that so many women listening can relate to that, so I appreciate you sharing that with the audience. So one last question before we close is, you know, for the woman, and you're a busy mom, so I know you can answer this because you're a business, multiple business owner, owner and all those things.

But for the woman who says, like, I have five kids, I have zero time to try to regulate my nervous system to try, you know, because alcohol is a very quick. Fix. Yeah, for sure. And that's why. But what does realistic nervous system care look like for a woman like that? Yes. So it is really hard. I'm not gonna lie and say that it's easy 'cause it is really, really hard.

And so just to give you a baseline of like what most people need in order to be in that safe, regulated state, most people need, and I have like a set five that I, or like couple that I have my clients do every day. Nourishing foods, whatever that means for you. Hydrating. So drinking a lot of water. Yeah.

Prayer every day. Movement every day. And then joy every single day. And that's gonna look different for everybody, but like, you have to be able to laugh, dance, do all the things like that. And that's a kind of, for some people, that's a learned behavior, especially if you have more of that melancholic behavior to be joyful.

Like it's hard for some people. Those are kind of the five things that every single day you should be doing in some capacity. It doesn't mean that you have to go and like go to the gym for an hour and a half or like hire a chef to have these beautiful meals. That'd be amazing, but let's don't have, yes, please.

And so, but those are like the basics that your body needs. Your body just needs those. Those things. Okay. And so how do you do it all every day? Well, first off. This might sound a little bit harsh. We have to stop making the excuse of like, I don't have time. Because you do have time. Yes. Right. And again, I say that with all the love in the world because there are many days where I'm like, I don't wanna work out today.

I don't have time. It's like I do have time, I'm just not prioritizing it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not making it the priority that it should be. And so again, really prioritizing like these five things. And if it's really hard for you to figure out. Or to make yourself do these five things, don't I always say like, and if you have children, you don't have to do these five things for yourself, but you have to do these five things for your kids.

Because one, if you don't do these five things every day, you're probably gonna show up in a not nice way. You're not gonna be the mom that you wanna be, and that's gonna lead to. Relationship issues with your husband, with your kids, with maybe your job or business or family members, whatever. And then also you're teaching your kids with everything that you do.

So are you teaching them that you think it's important to value your physical body that God has given you, that you think it's valuable to, um, to nourish that body, to grow its mind, to grow in spirit like. What are you teaching them? So there's many days where I'm like, I really don't wanna pray the rosary right now.

I'd rather just sit and play on my phone or watch a show or something really bad. And I always have to go back to like, but if I do that, then they're gonna see that and they're gonna think, oh, you know, on the hard days, I don't have to do what, what? Like we know we need to do. And so that's my big way of doing it, is again, not doing it for myself necessarily when it's hard, but doing it for them and then that really helps me out.

And again, just keep reminding yourself like you are worthy of these things, not because you've done anything or because of who you are. Just because of who you are. Like, you're God's beloved child and he has given us this life, this body to be taken care of. Our bodies are a temple and so therefore we have to take care of them.

And so yeah, it's, it's a non-negotiable and it really is just getting out of your mind of like, I don't have time and saying, what am I making time for that isn't this, and how can we adjust that? Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. That's so helpful. Thank you. Yeah, I always say like, make it a priority and then protect it at all costs.

Like what do I need to do to protect that? Um, yeah, and I, I think one other thing with that too is having realistic expectations. Yeah. So, again, I have a lot of kids, we live on a farm, have a bunch of stuff going on, so I, I used to get to the gym every day. Now I get to do like a 15 minute stretch workout every day.

While we pray the rosary and our kids are running around kinda like crazy, and guess what? I still get to move my body. I still feel better afterwards. I'm still getting stronger, or at least not getting weaker. And so just like releasing some of those expectations that you might have for yourself. Not lowering the bar, but just adjusting like what they look like.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's great. Yeah. 'cause sometimes I fall into the trap of like wanting to do all the things and do them perfectly, like all at once and then it's discouraging 'cause it is like, wait, it is for sure. Now I'm just gonna give up 'cause I can't do any of them. Yeah. And that's another, some is better than none is what I always say.

Yes. And that's a whole nother topic we could touch on. It is, I know habits versus identity and life, all that stuff. I know that is a whole nother podcast episode, but. I need to be aware of your time, and I just want to thank you so much for being here. So where Bridget, where can women find you, um, or learn more about working with you?

Um, do, if there's anything that you wanna, like tell my audience about that you have that might benefit them, that would be great too. Yeah, for sure. So you can find me@lorettowellness.com. That's just L-O-R-E-T-O wellness.com. I'm also on Instagram just at bridget dot Ali. I actually just released a new freebie.

It's an audio training that I would love if anybody wants to download it. It is, it's all about, um, spiritual, somatic rewiring. So kind of what we talked about. And this one is specifically around like money. 'cause a lot of us, again, Catholic Christians have issues around can we be holy and still be wealthy, or not even wealthy, but like, and still have money.

And so. At least for me for a while, I always thought like St. Francis of Assisi like was poor. So that's how we all have to be barefoot and like in rags, right? And so, yeah, so I would love if you went and downloaded that. It's, again, it's all about what God calls us to healing these deeper wounds that we have.

And you can find that on my website, or you can DM me on Instagram and I would love to send that to you. Great. Thank you so much, Bridget and I will go ahead and have those links in the show notes as well for you. So awesome for being here. Thank you so much. Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about. The coaching that I offer, visit my website, the catholic sobriety coach.com.

Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I look forward to speaking to you next time. And remember, I am here for you. I am praying for you. You are not alone.