Okay, it's Friday. And if you pressed play on this episode, I'm guessing you already know why maybe you had a plan this week, like a real one, not just a, I should probably drink less, but an actual intention that you set. And when you said it, you meant it. Monday, you meant it, but. Now it's Friday and you've had a whole week to negotiate with yourself.

And I'm not saying that with judgment at all. I'm saying it because I know it. I've lived that exact Friday more times than I can count.

Sometimes the week didn't go how I expected it to, and sometimes the week went perfectly fine and it didn't really matter either way because for whatever reason, Friday has its own, I don't know, logic, its own set of negotiations, like Friday just plays by different rules. So. Today's episode is not gonna be a pep talk.

What I want to do though is sit with you for a few minutes before your evening gets going, before those old patterns start running automatically because they will. So it's just you and me for a few minutes, and that's what this is. This is the Friday reset.

 Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christie Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and I'm so glad you're here.

 Hey friend, welcome back, or if this is your first time here, I'm so glad you found this episode around here. We talk about sobriety through a Catholic lens, faith, brain science, and real coaching. Today's episode is especially for the woman who struggles on Fridays, which let's be honest, that's most of us because Friday, as I mentioned in the intro, is its own thing, and it's not just the end of the week.

It's actually like a threshold. And thresholds are where habits either keep repeating. Or they start changing. Now I hear over and over and over from women like through the week, Monday through Thursday. I'm good. As soon as Friday hits, I don't know what happens. I just cannot stop negotiating with myself.

And finally, just give in so I just want you to know you're in good company. One quick thing before we get started. If you are not on my email list, please go and sign up because I'm starting to send out Friday reset emails every week. I've done two weeks so far, and the feedback that I'm getting is phenomenal.

At the end of my emails, I ask women to go ahead and share their Friday intentions with me if they want, , for accountability. I've received so many emails. I generally don't get a ton of feedback on my emails, so I'm usually just sending emails and hoping that they're helpful.

But I've received so much feedback from these two short emails that I've set, and they're done in like a format. So you have, you know, just kind of the brain side of it, the faith side of it, and the coaching side of it.

So I hope that you'll consider signing up for it. There's a link in my show notes if you want to join my email list. Okay, let's get into this. I wanna start with something. It's not a tip, not a strategy. It's just something that I noticed about Fridays a long time ago that changed how I saw the whole thing.

And here it is. Friday is usually not the moment that you decide to drink. Friday is when you collect on a debt that your week has been quietly running up since Monday. Hear me out the thing that you pushed aside on Tuesday, because there wasn't time.

The conversation on Wednesday where you left feeling unseen or frustrated.

Or the loneliness that hit Thursday evening none of that disappears. It actually accumulates, and by the time Friday rolls around, there it is. All the things from the week and your brain very efficiently, offers a solution it already knows.

Works super fast. This is where the neuroscience actually helps because you can know that this is not just a willpower issue for you. Your brain is building dopamine pathways and it has built a dopamine pathway for alcohol for that. Uh, cue the end of the workday, the craving. Or the ritual, and then your brain starts anticipating the reward before you've even consciously made a decision.

It's all kind of running in the background, so the craving actually shows up before that choice that you make even does. That is conditioning, that is wiring. That's not weakness. The good news is our brains can be rewired, they can change, our habits can change, but we actually have to look at it now. I remember realizing at one point in my own journey, years and years ago, that alcohol was actually never the thing that I wanted.

I wanted permission. I wanted to numb. I wanted to exhale. I wanted to kind of just let loose.

 I wanted to stop the loop of shame, the thoughts that I was beating myself up with constantly. I. And the fastest way that I knew to do that was alcohol. So here's what I want to say to you about that. The need underneath that is real. You do need rest. You do need to exhale, and you do need time that isn't in service to everybody else.

But here's the real question , is alcohol actually giving you that? Because most of us know what happens. Our Saturday mornings feel a little foggy. We might have a dull headache, we might not have very much energy. We might feel a little irritated or flat. But when you don't drink.

You'll notice the difference. You'll notice how rest restores you, how you feel so much better the next day.

Now while rest restores you, alcohol just quiets you and that quiet. Is not the same thing as peace.

So let's talk about that because I feel like most conversations revolving around alcohol freedom or sobriety never mention . That Friday is also a spiritual threshold. It's the moment between who you've been all week producing, managing, performing, and who you actually are when nobody is watching, and that moment is exactly where temptation starts to show up.

You'll start thinking things like, you've earned this. I could probably just have one glass, or you can start fresh on Monday. Now, St. Peter tells us that the enemy prowls around like a lion. The enemy is patient, waiting for a moment of exhaustion.

 And , Friday evenings at the end of the long week, that's exactly that moment, which means that this isn't just a habit battle, it's also a spiritual one,

so that gives me hope because spiritual battles are not fought alone. The Lord is with us and we have access to the sacraments. We have access to God's grace. We all, by virtue of our baptism, have these spiritual gifts meant to nurture and strengthen us. So here's the question I want you to sit with today.

Just one, what is the real thing that you are trying to feel tonight? Not what you're trying to escape. What are you trying to feel? Because most women are not simply chasing intoxication, although. I do get women that say like, I really just love that feeling of being tuned out, of being fuzzy. You know, but why?

Why do you love that feeling? Often? It's because they're chasing something very specific. They want relief. They want rest. They want connection. They want permission to finally put the load down. But here's the problem with that. Alcohol mimics the exact things we actually need.

It is a counterfeit of so many things because if you want rest, it's not gonna give you that. It might help you get to sleep, but it's also going to disrupt your sleep. Maybe you drink because you want connection. Great. It might like loosen you up and make you less inhibited so you're more talkative and and laugh easier or louder.

But it also dulls emotional awareness. Think of any conversation you have had with someone who's been drinking when you haven't or you haven't had as much. Do you think, oh, this person is really listening to me and taking in everything I have to say? I, I don't, I'm usually like, I wonder if they're gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, because I remember so many conversations that I had with people where I thought I was just waxing poetic, or, you know, just being so insightful or so hilarious.

And the next morning I couldn't even remember having those conversations. So I'm not saying that with judgment. I'm saying that because I used to do it.

Do you drink because you want the weekend to feel like full and fun? That's what alcohol tells you. That's what the alcohol commercials tell you it's going to do, but it actually creates this subtle fog over everything. It just kind of blurs all the edges, even if you're not completely intoxicated. It's still blurring the edges,

the habit mimics the need, which is why asking the question matters. What do I actually need tonight? Maybe it's 20 minutes of quiet. Maybe it's saying to somebody I had a hard week. Maybe it's prayer and not a polished one. Maybe you just write with your pen, pray with your pen. Um, maybe you just sit. In silence, just like cozy up in your bed and just say to God, Lord, I'm tired and I really wanna drink tonight, but I'm not going to please help me.

That prayer is real. And if you don't even know what you need anymore, that's important information too, because decision fatigue is real. Because caring for the needs of a lot of people can make it so that we forget to ask, what is it that I need?

And not in a selfish way,  in a way. That takes care of you, that fills your cup so that you can still pour out to others.

So ask yourself honestly, when, when that craving to drink comes up, what am I actually looking for tonight?

Now I want to give you something just to carry with you or to say, or to keep in mind. As you go through your day and into the evening, it comes from Isaiah 30 15 and it says, in returning and rest, you shall be saved in quietness and trust shall be your strength returning.

Returning to the Lord, not pushing harder, not proving something, just returning. Come back to him. Come back to yourself and rest. Real rest. Not the counterfeit kind, the kind that actually restores you. The kind that doesn't. Just numb things for a few hours.

And quietness. That's the part most of us avoid on Fridays because the quiet is where we feel everything that we've been out running all week. But the verse says, that's actually where strength lives and trust, not trust in your willpower, but trust in the one who's never exhausted. God is not waiting until Monday to care about how you're doing.

He's present on Friday too, and as Catholics, we have something incredibly concrete to strengthen us, and that is the Eucharist. A God who didn't just give us ideas, gave us himself. So if there's a Friday evening mass near you, or adoration, or even just an empty church where you can sit for 10 minutes.

That's a refuge. St. Augustine said it best. Our hearts are restless until they rest in you. That restlessness on Friday. It's not a defect. It's actually your heart telling you you need God. You need him. The lover of your soul, the one who can refresh and restore you. And I promise you, whatever is in your glass is not the answer.

So here's the invitation for tonight. Just one thing, before you pour the drink, give yourself 10 minutes of quiet. No phone, no distractions. Just 10 minutes. Sit somewhere outside if you can, in your car, if that's the only quiet place that you have to go and talk honestly to God.

Not the polished, perfect version, just the real Friday version. You might say, Lord, I do not want to do this again. I'm tired. I need help, but I feel like I wanna drink.

Or you might say nothing at all. Maybe you just sit. Maybe you cry and that that counts too. The Lord will meet you there. And then after 10 minutes, make your choice, but make it consciously, not just because the old program started running. Look. You might still choose to drink, but at least you'll be present when that choice happens.

You're not just doing it on autopilot or out of reaction. And if you wanna tell me what you're choosing tonight, then reply to the Friday reset email because I read every single one of them, and I pray for the women who send them.

Okay, that's it for this week's episode. If it helped you send it to one person, you probably know who. , And if you're not on my email list, the link is in the show notes. Show up for yourself on Friday mornings. It matters more than you think. I'll talk to you again next week.

 Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about.

The coaching that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic sobriety coach.com. Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I look forward to speaking to you next. Time and remember, I am here for you. I am praying for you.