Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christie Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and I'm so glad you're here.

 Hello friends. Today we are talking about something that every woman who is trying to drink less feels this time of year. I'm talking Advent Christmas family gatherings, managing emotions and expectations, and all the little triggers that show up uninvited right at your front door. Now Advent is a season of slowing down watching.

Waiting and preparing our hearts for Jesus, but the world around us just speeds up. It louds everything and it can stretch us thin. So if you are trying to reduce or eliminate alcohol, honestly, it can feel like a perfect storm. There's the pressure, the pace, the nostalgia, the family patterns, and you know what it hits all at once.

I am here to tell you that you do not need perfection. You do not need superhuman willpower. You just need a few simple faith rooted, brain friendly tools that keep you steady and grounded. And today I'm sharing five tricks based on neuroscience habit change. Coaching and Catholic spirituality that can help you move through advent and Christmas with peace, intention and clarity without relying on alcohol to get you through.

Now let's dive in.

Trick number one is the 30 to 92nd reset technique. This is the technique that I teach women who work with me because it changes everything and it takes less than a couple of minutes. Now before I teach it, I wanna clarify something that will help this make even more sense.

If you've listened to podcasts before or been in any of my programs, you know that I talk about cravings lasting around 90 seconds, and that is true, but it's only half of the picture because the 90 seconds refers to that emotional wave, that chemical surge of stress, irritability, loneliness, or overwhelm in the body that rises and falls fast Then.

The urge to drink hits that learned habit comes next. That can last a few minutes if you don't interrupt it, but here's the good news. You can interrupt that entire loop in 30 to 90 seconds. Most women don't have 10 minutes to step away and regulate, but every woman has 30 seconds.

So here's the tool. Step one is to pause your body. I want you to say this to yourself. Drop your shoulders, relax your jaw. Exhale slowly. This signals to your brain. I am not in danger, and your nervous system will soften immediately. The other thing I recommend doing is inviting Jesus in. By saying Jesus, I surrender this craving to you.

Step two is to name that craving out loud, because when we name it out loud, it loses its power. So I want you to say. This is just a craving and it will pass. Naming that, turns on that prefrontal cortex, your thinking brain, the part of your brain that says Stop, and it shuts down the panic loop. The next thing I want you to do, step three, is to ask the power question, what am I actually needing right now?

Because I promise you, you are not needing alcohol, but you definitely, definitely do need something. So 99% of the time, the answer is going to be you need rest. You need comfort, you need regulation, you need peace, you need a break, you need connection. Alcohol promises those things, but it doesn't truly give them to you.

Step four is to invite God into the moment, whisper. Jesus regulate my mind. Holy Spirit, fill this space. Prayer plus breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system, your rest and restore state. This isn't just spiritual, it's biological, and it's so powerful. And then step five is to do one tiny competing action.

Just choose one thing that shifts your state that kind of confuses your brain a little bit. So instead of reaching for alcohol, you will drink some cold water or step outside or eat a protein snack. You can even splash water on your face. Maybe text someone, go on a short walk, listen to worship music, light a candle, just really anything that changes your internal state and breaks that craving loop.

Now when you combine these five steps, the craving curve collapses, and your brain recalibrates and your emotions will settle and you will step back into clarity. This is not willpower. Doesn't it sound so much more peaceful than willpower or white knuckling it? This is biology plus prayer working together and honestly, this technique alone can change your entire season.

You can use this on lots of things, not just alcohol. You can use it on food or scrolling or anything else that is a temptation for you. Trick two is to create a celebration plan. If you've been around here a while, you know I always.

Always invite you to plan. It's so important. The holidays carry unspoken expectations. There's a toast here, a sip there. Celebrate with a drink because I don't know, that's what adults do, but the women who struggle the most this time of year are the ones who go in without a plan.

So trick number two is to create that celebration plan. And to do that, I want you to ask yourself a few questions. What do I want to drink this season? What do I not want to drink? Who supports me? Who drains me? What will I say when someone hands me a drink?

What will I bring with me? Now, this is not restrictive. It's protective. It gives your brain predictability and structure. And spiritually, it aligns with the whole posture of advent. We prepare on purpose. We don't just drift along. So bring your own sparkling water or tea or a mocktail, decide in advance how you want to feel the next morning and choose what celebration truly means for you.

Trick number three is to identify your real triggers. Most women think their holiday triggers are the wine, the party, the food, the relatives, but underneath those are actually the real trigger. The exhaustion, feeling unappreciated. Old family rules, resurfacing, loneliness, resentment, overstimulation, pressure to be on all the time and emotional discomfort.

And the holidays stir these things up fast. So trick number three is to name the real trigger before alcohol does. So when you feel a urge rise, ask, what am I actually feeling? Where am I overwhelmed? What wound is being poked? What need isn't being met right now? And when you name emotion. You reduce its power.

When you do this, neuroscience shows that you shift from amygdala reactivity to prefrontal clarity. Spiritually speaking, it brings the moment into the light of Christ. You're not numbing the wound, you're opening it to healing.

This is the heart of Advent, letting Jesus come into our real lives, not our edited ones. Trick number four is to create a dopamine menu. Let's be honest, most urges aren't about alcohol. They're about dopamine. Your brain is looking for relief, stimulation, or reward. So instead of fighting the brain, we work with it.

That's why trick number four is to create a dopamine menu, and you're going to have. Three different categories. A low dopamine comfort, so soothing the nervous system with tea, warm blanket, a bath lotion prayer. Lectio Davina deep breathing. Then there's the medium dopamine activation, and that's going to help wake up the body.

So that could be going on a short walk. Upbeat music, clean a small space stretch, do some squats or text someone. And then there's the high dopamine delight. These are quick joy hits of dopamine. That's going to be like a mocktail looking at Christmas lights, having a treat, uh, listening to worship music, or doing something creative.

When your dopamine dips, your brain will want to reach for something, and the power of the dopamine menu is that it gives you the options that support your piece instead of stealing it. All right, now we're to trick number five, and this is to establish sacred boundaries. Most women drink more during the holidays, not because of alcohol, but because of boundary fatigue.

We say yes. When we're exhausted, we overcommit. We try to make everyone else ha happy. We stay too long. We allow guilt to run the calendar, and we lose time for rest in prayer. And then at the end of the day, wine becomes the reward, the escape, or the relief. So that is why trick number five is to create those sacred boundaries.

These are boundaries that honor your peace, your prayer life, your sobriety, your rest, and your emotional regulation. Some examples of this might be, I'm bringing my own drink. We are leaving by 9:00 PM I'm not going to explain my choices tonight. One event per weekend. I'm protecting my sleep.

No guilt this year. You are a daughter of God, not a pressure valve for other people's expectations. Boundaries are love in practice. Now, as you walk through Advent and Christmas, I want you to remember that you're not weak. You're not failing, and you're not behind. You are learning yourself. You are regulating your nervous system.

You are preparing your heart, and you are walking with Christ. Okay, here are your five tricks. One more time. The first is the 30 to 92nd reset technique. The second is your celebration plan. Your third is naming your real triggers. Fourth is your dopamine menu, and fifth is sacred Boundaries. I would love it if you picked one or two to practice this week.

Just make small shifts and you will notice that that is going to make a big difference.

And as we wrap up today, I want to leave you with one simple invitation. If this episode encouraged you, helped you feel seen, or gave you a tool that you can actually use, would you please share it with a friend? There are so many women quietly struggling with drinking. Especially during the holidays and sometimes all it takes is one episode to change the direction of someone's season,

and if you haven't already, leaving a quick review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is one of the easiest ways to help other women find this content. It truly makes a difference, and I'm so grateful for every single one.

Thank you so much for spending this time with me.

 Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about.

The coaching that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic sobriety coach.com. Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach. I look forward to speaking to you next. Time and remember, I am here for you. I am praying for you.