Welcome & Permission To Breathe

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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives. Women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason. I am your host, Christy Walker. I'm a wife, mom, and a joy-filled Catholic, and I am the Catholic sobriety coach, and I'm so glad you're here. Hey friend, take a breath for just a second. I don't know where you're listening right now. Maybe you're folding laundry, walking the dog, hiding in your car for five quiet minutes before re-entering the chaos of family life. Wherever you are, consider this your permission to unclench your jaw and be here for a moment. You don't have to perform right now, you don't have to get it all figured out right now. You're here and that's what matters.

Alcohol As Fruit, Not Root

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Today we are talking about something tender and powerful. Inner healing and freedom ministry. Inner healing, freedom ministry, and how it all connects to your relationship with alcohol. Because alcohol is almost never the actual problem. It's the fruit, not the root. And when we try to fix alcohol use without healing what made alcohol feel necessary, here's what happens. And maybe this sounds familiar. You stop drinking, but now you're inhaling sugar like it's your love language. Or you swap Chardonnay for scrolling. Or your evenings become a frantic cleaning spree because if the house is spotless, then maybe you'll finally feel in control. Or you're technically sober, but still restless, anxious, irritable, or secretly thinking, something is missing. Why don't I feel better yet? That's because white knuckle sobriety without inner healing often leads to transfer addictions, emotional chaos, and a constant sense of low grade spiritual unease. So today isn't just about quitting drinking. It's about asking, why did alcohol feel like relief in the first place? What wound was it soothing? What lie was it reinforcing? And what does true freedom look like when healing starts from the inside? Now we're going to move through a healing arc rooted in the frameworks of Encounter Ministries, which is identity first healing, Be Healed by Dr. Bob Schutz, where we'll discuss wounds and lies, and Unbound by Neil Lozano, where we'll talk about renunciation, forgiveness, authority, and blessing. Why? Because these frameworks don't just help women stop drinking, they help women become who they actually are without needing something to numb or define

Identity First: Who Are You Really

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them. In freedom ministry, identity is always first because you cannot heal what you believe you deserve. When I started at Encounter School of Ministries, that was the very first thing that we learned. There was an entire quarter just on identity. Let me gently ask you, what identity have you accidentally lived under? The I'm the overwhelmed mom who needs wine to take the edge off. I'm the anxious one. I'm just not strong enough. I'm always caving. Even when I quit, I feel empty without it. I'm the socially awkward one who needs a drink to loosen up. Now here's the sneaky thing. When alcohol becomes part of your identity narrative, even if it's harmful, part of you will defend it because losing it feels like losing part of yourself. And when you've worn a label long enough, even a painful one, it can start to feel like home, like comfort. Not because it's safe, but because it's familiar. But here's the truth, and this may be uncomfortable because lies feel easier to believe than holy identity, especially when you're tired. You are not the woman who cannot handle life without wine. You are not weak, and you are not permanently anxious. You are beloved, daughter of the Father, you are seen, you are safe, and provided for. You are not surviving on scraps of borrowed peace. You were created for abundant freedom. Jesus didn't come to make you better at coping. He came to set you free. Now let me ask you a couple of questions, and you can just let this sit if you're not quite ready to answer. Who have I believed that I am when it comes to alcohol? What titles or labels have I worn that aren't from God? When I imagine giving up alcohol fully, what identity feels threatened? If those questions hit a little deep, that's good. That means the Holy Spirit is already opening a door. Now that we've grounded ourselves in identity, let's gently but honestly look at the surface. Here's the truth. Most women don't drink because they love alcohol. They drink because something hurts. And pain always looks for a place to go.

Five Core Wounds Explained

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In the book Be Healed, Dr. Bob Schutz identifies five core wounds that many of us carry, often rooted in past experiences or ongoing emotional realities. There's the wound of rejection, the wound of abandonment, the wound of fear, the wound of shame, and the wound of powerlessness. Now the wound of rejection says, I am unwanted, which produces an emotional reaction of loneliness. And where alcohol steps in is wine, becomes that false sense of belonging. The wound of abandonment. The thought is I'm alone. The common emotion that comes with that is desperation or even fear. Alcohol steps in and it becomes your company, your best friend. Then there's the wound of fear. I am not safe. The emotion that comes with that is anxiety or hypervigilance. And for that wound, alcohol feels like relief. The next is shame. Something is wrong with me. The emotion might be self-disgust. Then alcohol steps in. And drinking numbs that sense of unworthiness. The wound of powerlessness. I just can't handle life right now. The emotion that comes with that is overwhelm or despair. Where alcohol steps in is that alcohol gives the illusion of control. Now you might think, but I'm fine, I'm just stressed. Yes. But stress often isn't the wound, it's the symptom, just like alcohol is. For example, maybe you were the oldest daughter who always had to hold everything together. So powerlessness is terrifying. Maybe you were the good girl, praised for keeping the peace. So you fear rejection and conflict. Or maybe nobody taught you how to be sad without shame. When life hits these wounds over and over, our nervous system is screaming for relief. And one day, a glass of something becomes the quickest, most socially acceptable form of relief. It works for about 20 minutes. And then the shame returns even stronger. And the cycle reinforces itself. Sometimes it looks like the house is loud, the day was long, someone said mom, 327 times, my nervous system is for ride. And I'd like to temporarily exit my body now, please. If that sounds familiar, just know you're not broken, you're just overwhelmed and unhealed. Now we're going to talk about lies, which are the agreements that chain us. Here's where the enemy gets tactical. Every wound opens the door to a lie. And in the book Unbound, Neil Lozano teaches that when we agree with these lies, even subconsciously, we give them spiritual and emotional power. They can often sound like I can't relax without a drink. People like me more when I've had a drink. I'm too emotionally weak to do this without help. I've always struggled and I always will. I can't handle life. Now notice these are not just thoughts. They are agreements that we've made about how life works. When a lie gets repeated over and over for years, it stops sounding like a lie and it starts sounding like self-awareness. But self-awareness built on lies isn't healing. It's bondage, disguised as honesty. So let's pause right here. And I'd like you to ask yourself these questions. What do I believe alcohol gives me that I don't think I can get anywhere else? What fear rises in me at the thought of never using alcohol again? What do I believe I cannot handle without it? That's not judgment, but that's a revelation. Now let me paint a picture that you might recognize.

Lies We Agree With

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There's a woman, let's call her Mabel, and she doesn't think she has any major wounds. She just feels tired all the time. She loves her kids, but she feels constantly behind. She dreads evenings because by 6 PM she's overstimulated and emotionally depleted. Somewhere along the way, she picked up the belief evenings are hard and a drink helps me unwind. Every night, the wound of powerlessness whispers, You can't handle this. The lie answers alcohol makes it easier. She agrees and she drinks. So now that we've uncovered the first half of the cycle, wound equals pain equals lie equals agreement equals alcohol as coping. Now what do we do with that? We break the agreement. We renounce the lie. We forgive what caused the wound. We reclaim authority. We receive the Father's truth. We walk in freedom with support and grace. That begins with the courageous act of renunciation, a spiritual, emotion, and neurological shift. Now that we've named the lies, the next step is renunciation, and this is where women often feel a shift. But first, let's clarify some things. Renunciation is not wishing things were different. It is not hoping. It is not hoping I believe something new every day. It is a direct rejection of spiritual, emotional, and neurological agreement with a lie. It's like saying, I cancel the contract, I unknowingly signed with this belief. In Unbound, Neil Lozano describes renunciation as withdrawing permission. When you renounce a lie, you are essentially saying, you no longer get to occupy space in my identity, my emotions, or my decisions. Here are just a few examples. In the name of Jesus, I renounce the lie that I need alcohol to feel peace. I renounce the belief that I cannot connect with people without a drink in my hand. I renounce the identity of the woman who always struggles with this. I renounce the fear that if I don't drink, I won't be able to handle my emotions. When spoken with belief, even shaky belief, renunciation does two things. First, it does something spiritually, because it breaks the agreement with the enemy's influence. And second, it does something neurologically. It signals the brain that this pathway is no longer the safest option, making space for new and healthier neural rewiring. But what if you don't fully believe the truth yet? That's totally fine. You don't need perfect belief. You just need willingness. You can even say, Jesus, I renounce this lie and I ask you to help my unbelief. Now we're going to move into the stage that

Breaking Agreements: Renunciation

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many women try to avoid, not because they're stubborn, but because they misunderstand it. This was a really hard one for me. I'll just put that out there. It's about forgiveness, a release. Now, before we begin, I just want to say very clearly that forgiveness is not excusing, it's not forgetting. Forgiveness is not excusing, it's not forgetting, it is not reconciliation, it does not mean what happened was okay. Forgiveness is releasing someone from the debt that they owe you so that you can stop paying the interest. In inner healing, unforgiveness becomes emotional pressure, and pressure often leads to numbing behaviors, like reaching for a drink. That includes forgiving others, forgiving situations, and forgiving yourself. Sometimes the hardest words to say are, I forgive myself for the years I numbed instead of healed. I forgive myself for choosing survival when I didn't know that freedom was possible. Forgiveness is an act of obedience that leads to an experience of healing, not the other way around. Forgiveness is an action. It is a choice, it is not a feeling. When I found that out, oh my goodness, it changed so much for me and it made forgiving a lot easier. The other thing to know about forgiveness is that it's an ongoing process. So let's say you forgive someone for something and you meant it, but then a little while later you remember something else. Well, if it comes up again, forgive again. Continually forgive. Now, if you're open to this, I'd like you to ask Jesus, Jesus, who do I still feel emotionally tied to through pain or disappointment? Jesus, what memory or pattern feels heavy when it comes to my drinking? Jesus, is there a younger version of me I need to forgive for how she coped? You may not be ready to act yet, and that's totally okay. Awareness is already movement toward freedom. Now let's be real. Sometimes we can say I'm over it, but what we mean is I've shoved it into my emotional junk drawer under 14 target receipts and a broken pen cap. Forgiveness is like opening that drawer, holding something up, rolling our eyes, and saying, Okay, fine, Lord, I officially release this now before it morphs into another coping cycle. When we renounce a lie and release pain through forgiveness, something unexpected happens. Space opens. And that space must be filled, not with grit, not with control, but with authority and blessing. Once lies are announced and forgiveness has loosened emotional chains, we enter a critical point, authority. Let me just clarify, because the word authority can feel a bit intimidating or even out of reach, especially if you've spent years feeling powerless. If you are a daughter of God, you are not just rescued, you are commissioned. Jesus didn't just save you from something, he saved you into something, a new spiritual identity with access to his authority. Authority doesn't mean pretending you're strong, authority actually means acknowledging that he is strong in you. And you are now living from his power instead of your pain. In the book Unbound, Neil Lozano calls this step command, where we confidently

What Forgiveness Is And Isn’t

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claim freedom that Christ already won. In simple terms, I am not begging for freedom, I'm stepping into freedom already purchased for me. So here are some example declarations. In the name of Jesus, I choose peace instead of anxiety. By his authority, I claim clarity instead of confusion. Through Christ, I have everything I need to manage my emotions without numbing them. I have authority over my urges. They do not rule me. Neurologically, this reinforces new identity pathways. Spiritually, it closes the door to fear, shame, and dependency. Now, this is one of the most overlooked steps, receiving blessing. Why does this matter? Because healing is not just about removing lies, it's about replacing them with truth. If you renounce without blessing, your heart remains empty, and emptiness often searches for familiar comfort, which can lead back to old patterns. But when truth is spoken into the newly cleared space, it roots and strengthens your transformation identity. Here are some examples. I am beloved and safe in the Father's care. I am emotionally capable through grace. I was made for freedom, not fear. I carry peace with me. I don't have to drink to borrow it. The Holy Spirit equips me in moments of stress. I am not overwhelmed or alone. I walk steady even when emotions rise, because Christ steadies me. Now let's put all of that together in a short guided activation. You can pause here and repeat after me if you feel ready. If not, you can simply listen and let these words pass through like seeds waiting for the right moment to take root. Okay, here we go. In the name of Jesus, I renounce the lie that I need alcohol to feel peace. I forgive myself for the ways I coped before I knew how to heal. Jesus, I accept your authority in my life. Father, speak truth into my identity. I receive this blessing. I am beloved, capable, and held. I can walk in peace, not escape. I am no longer in bondage. I am free to heal, free to grow, and free to live fully awake in your grace. Finally, let's talk about what happens when healing actually begins to take root. This is so exciting because there's a huge difference between sobriety fueled by fear, self-punishment, and tight control, and freedom fueled by healing, identity, and peace. White knuckling sobriety sounds like I can't drink because I'll ruin everything. I'm not allowed to have wine or I'll lose control. I must stay strong or I'll disappoint everyone. This is who I have to be now. Emotionally, this kind of sobriety still feels like walking off the edge of a cliff, afraid of falling with every single step. There's constant anxiety around slipping, and you think about alcohol often. You may even feel fear or resentment, and certainly deprivation when you are around social events. That's not freedom. That's captivity in a prettier outfit. Now, healed freedom sounds like this. I no longer need alcohol to cope. I feel better without it than I ever did with it. Peace is something I carry, not something I pour. Even when I am emotionally low, I just don't feel the pull toward escape.

Authority And Receiving Blessing

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When wounds are healed, alcohol loses its emotional power because the root pain that was calling for it has been addressed. Just like how a weed with roots will keep growing back if you keep cutting at the surface. But once that root is pulled out, it's just gone and you don't feel haunted by it anymore. Now going back to Mabel from earlier, the overwhelmed evening drinker. After walking through identity, healing, releasing old lies, and learning to regulate her emotions through grace-based practices, there was a night when she cooked dinner, handled bedtime chaos, even had a hard conversation with her husband, and later she found herself sitting on the couch with tea, not wine, and realizing she wasn't biting the urge to drink. There just wasn't an urge. She felt peace, and in that peace she whispered, Oh, so this is what people mean when they say freedom. Healing didn't make her life easier, but it did make her heart stronger. And when your heart is strong, alcohol no longer feels like a lifeline. It feels like a distraction. So the path is not try harder to quit. The path is identity, healing, freedom, and sobriety as a byproduct. But most women don't know how to walk the path alone, and they shouldn't have to, because freedom happens most fruitfully in guided healing environments and a supportive community. Maybe as you listened, you realized I've been attacking the fruit without tending to the root. I don't just want to control alcohol. I want to live in freedom I don't have to fight for every day. If part of you whispered, yes, that's me, let me tell you this. That nudge is holy. It's not hype or pressure or spiritual FOMO, it's an invitation. I walk with women through this exact journey, identity first, deep healing second, freedom as a fruit, using faith, neuroscience, embodiment, and actual doable rhythms. Whether you're trying to moderate, take a break, or finally walk away from alcohol for good, this work is not about controlling your behavior. It's about transforming your heart. Inside my sacred sobriety lab, we go deeper into healing frameworks like the ones we've talked through today. We build habits that support your nervous system and we integrate truth into daily life, not just conceptually, but practically. It's where women say, for the first time, I feel like I'm healing from the inside out. If you need sisterhood and guidance without pressure, this is the place to start. Now, if you feel God asking you to go deeper, personally, with focus, I do offer 12-session one-on-one coaching where we walk this path together based on your wounds, your triggers, your healing timeline, and your identity in Christ. This isn't just about I this isn't just accountability.

Guided Activation For Freedom

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It's inner healing with strategy, compassion, and transformation. And if you're not sure which one's right for you, I offer free clarity calls, zero pressure, zero weirdness, just a safe space to discern the right next step. If it's not with me, I'll still help you figure out the right direction for you. And that's my promise. If something stirred in you while you are listening today, don't put it back to sleep. Freedom is possible for you. Not because you're strong enough, but because God is faithful enough. And healing isn't something you earn by getting your life together first. Healing is something you receive while still messy, still uncertain, still in progress. If today felt like a beginning, honor it. I will talk to you again soon. Well, that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing. I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach, and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer, visit my website, the Catholic Sobriety Coach.