Welcome to Catholic Sobriety

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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Hey there , beautiful friend . Happy almost 4th of July . Okay , let's talk about it , because I know that you are here for a reason and maybe you're noticing that your drinking has become that . Your drinking has become , oh , let's just say , a little more than you'd like it to be lately . Maybe you're drinking a little bit more often , or when you do drink , you drink a little more than you wish that you would . Maybe what used to be one or two glasses on a special occasion is now almost every evening , or maybe it's just become this like automatic thing . You don't even think about it until you look at the bottle and realize it's almost gone , and then you're left wondering why do I feel so disconnected from myself ? Again , I've had a lot of women explain to me that the more alcohol takes up room in their lives , the smaller their world gets . And if you are feeling like that , listen , I get it , because I've been there and that's exactly why I create the programs that I create . Like right now . I have my Sober Summer Reset going right now . You can actually still sign up through July 6th , but after that I'm closing it , just for just you know , to keep the privacy and things shared . In there People are building trust . It's been a really wonderful and active group , so you have just a few more days . If you want to pop in there , I'll have the link in my show notes or you can go to my website , the Catholic Sobriety Coach . I almost said Catholic Sobriety Podcast , but you go to thecatholicsobrietycoachcom and I have a banner there . Again , I will be closing the doors on that 62-day challenge on July 6th .

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Anyway , let's just get into

Creating Your Fourth of July Freedom Plan

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today . We are going to talk about making a plan so that you're not just white knuckling your way through the 4th of July . This , appropriately , is a freedom plan , because we're celebrating Independence Day . Now , I know we're celebrating America's Independence Day , but it could be your Independence Day too . Let's create a plan that actually feels good , so will feel peaceful , grounded and spirit-led . If you're wondering , how do I get through the fourth of july without drinking more than I want to or without drinking at all .

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Ladies , this episode is for you . The first thing that I would encourage you to do is to set a prayerful intention before you go to that barbecue or beach day or your cousin Deb's red wine and boozy blowout you know the one . Take five minutes to ask the Holy Spirit for clarity . You can say something like Lord , what will freedom look like for me today ? And then just stop and listen . You can use whatever you hear as personal reflection .

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Or my favorite thing is to journal just really quick , nothing fancy , and think about what you're hearing and then in your journal or personal reflection , think about this . And we talk about this a lot in my sacred sobriety lab in the renewal of the mind module . But we change . We think about what we want our results to be . That helps with planning . So in the beginning , before we even go to the barbecue or whatever , we are going to think , journal and pray about what do I want to feel when I go to bed that night ? Do I want to feel proud , peaceful , present with my kids , like I was present with the people there , and just write all that down ? Do you want to just feel like you have a good amount of energy when you wake up and not feel groggy and cloudy headed in the morning .

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And then the third thing I'd like you to do , as you're setting a prayerful intention , is to then grab a scripture verse to anchor you and I know I've talked about this before on the podcast and I talk about this in my programs is to speak declarations over yourself . So that is speaking God's holy word from sacred scripture over yourself , and what you are doing is you are opening yourself up and allowing the Lord to impart his grace on you . So pick some sacred scripture that really makes you feel empowered and strengthened , like one of them might be where the spirit of the Lord is , there is freedom . That's 2 Corinthians 3 , 17 . Just put that one in your back pocket , write it on a sticky note . Or find one that you love , like I can do all things through Christ , who strengthens me . You know we have all those verses that we love , but maybe this is a good time to look up some verses maybe you're not so familiar with . That could also be very encouraging and empowering . And again , you can write that on a sticky note and keep it in your pocket when you are at your party or barbecue or whatever you decide to do .

Make a Drink Plan That Works

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The second thing I would invite you to do is to make a drink plan . Okay , I see you rolling your eyes at me , but we are going to make a plan . It's kind of like sometimes , when I say let's make a plan , it's kind of like when I go to my husband and say let's create a budget . He's like , oh , my gosh , that sounds not so good . But I promise you , if you make a plan , it is going to help you succeed . I know it will . And even if you don't stick exactly to the plan no , it will . And even if you don't stick exactly to the plan , you will notice that you still don't drink as much as you might have had you not had that plan . So just telling you that , and when you have a plan , you can look at it and say what worked and what didn't , which we'll get to later but make your drink plan . So will you drink ? If so , how much will you drink ? And I don't mean just thinking in your brain like , oh , let's see how it goes . I mean decide now and be very specific , because the more specific you can be , the greater your chances will be of actually sticking to it .

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For example , you might think you might plan , plan . We're not just thinking , we're planning . I'm going to have one glass of wine with dinner and that's it . I'll pray before I pour and I won't refill . I'll make sure that I bring other fun drinks non-alcoholic fun drinks that I like , so that once I do have my allotted amount that I decided I'm going to have that one glass of wine , I will move on to that and I'll make sure to always have a non-alcoholic drink in my hand so I don't feel like I'm missing out and so that people aren't constantly asking me if I want a drink . So if you go alcohol free , that's even more amazing and even more freedom for you . But don't feel like you have to if that's not part of your plan . But if you want to challenge yourself , do it and then let me know how that works for you and how and what you did that helped . Again , part of that plan and this is so important is to have that backup drink that you actually like . Something festive , something fun . Put it in a fun glass or a mason jar or whatever makes it feel celebratory . Think of like sparkling waters with berries , a spicy lemonade , a mocktail that makes you feel fancy , because we are not punishing ourselves here . We are choosing something better . We are saying no to something that is not serving us and saying yes to something that will give us more freedom and peace , and that is planning your non-alcoholic drinks as well .

Know Your Triggers and Responses

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Step number three know your triggers and plan your responses . Okay , let's name the stuff that might throw you off , some of those thoughts that might come up for you , and these thoughts are likely going to lead to results that you don't want , my friend . You don't want them . So some of these thoughts might be everyone else is drinking . I feel so awkward and out of place . I am missing out on all the fun because I'm just a wet blanket and I'm ruining my fun and everyone else's fun . That could be a thought . So do those sound familiar ? They might . You might have some other ones , but what we can do and again I talk about this a lot in my programs is to reframe those thoughts .

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Thoughts are just thoughts . You can change them , you can ignore them , and one of the best ways to change a thought is to think about the results that you want . So , going back to that planning like what are the results that you want to have at the end of the evening , the next morning , and that will help you change your thought , so that you can have an emotion that will prompt you to an action that will actually give you the result that you want . So let's prep some comebacks for those thoughts so when you are thinking you know everyone else is drinking , you can just think I'm not missing out , I am really making progress toward my goal . I am building my sober muscles . I am becoming a woman who can drink or not drink , who takes alcohol or leave it with peace . Okay , that's one thing that you can see . If you're feeling awkward or out of place , you can just tell yourself like awkward is okay , everybody feels awkward , it just means I'm growing , I'm learning how to be uncomfortable and be okay with that , and then you can . If you think that you're missing out , then you can always think you know I'm not missing out , I am gaining freedom . This is what freedom tastes like as you're sipping your mocktail , I don't know , but just changing those thoughts up can be so helpful . So if you start thinking of that ahead of time , what are those thoughts that you usually think in these situations and what can you change them to ? You can do it in the moment as well , but it's so helpful if you kind of prep that out ahead of time . So maybe there's .

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The other thing is , maybe your trigger is emotional , like stress or anxiety , or just feeling overstimulated by the whole dang thing , and that's totally normal , that's totally human . So I just want you to breathe through it . I want you to have your declarations . Maybe have a prayer like Jesus , I trust in you . Or Lord , thank you so much for showing me how much better I'm going to feel in the morning . You know , just have like a little short prayer that you can say when those when that stress or anxiety starts to feel a little bit overwhelming for you .

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The next thing is to anchor in your why . So having a strong why is so critical to the success of being able to reduce or eliminate alcohol . Because if you're just like I don't know , it just seems like it'd be a fun thing to do or a good thing to do or might be nice to do . That is not strong . We are talking about a strong why . Like I want to be more present with my grandkids , I want to be stronger and I don't want to be a burden in my later years , just , whatever that is . I want to be more present . I want to show up fully , have your why , front and center , then take five deep breaths and I want you to picture the woman you are becoming because you are on a journey and whether you have reached your goal or not , and you're moderating or or maintaining whatever that desired level of sobriety is for you , picture yourself on that journey . Picture yourself who you're becoming . How does she live ? What does she think ? How does she feel and see her ? Is she clear-headed , is she confident ? Is she free ? And then say out loud , if you can I am no longer the woman who drinks because she's unsure or she's anxious , or she's coping or she's bored . I am the woman who chooses peace . I am the woman who trusts God more than the moment . Now , if that just gave you chills , that's the Holy Spirit reminding you of who you really are and whose you are . Step into that , sister .

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Step number five is visual and verbal cues . So have a reminder on your body . I remember when I was trying to quit smoking and somebody recommended having a rubber band on my wrist . Was trying to quit smoking and somebody recommended having a rubber band on my wrist and anytime I wanted to have a cigarette to just pull that rubber band back as far as I could and let it go . I did that . It didn't , that didn't really work , that was painful , but so I didn't really want to do it because it was painful . But if you have kind of a reminder on your body , whether that's a metal , a bracelet , a cross necklace , something that you can touch Like I have a miraculous medal and a St Benedict medal and a cross that I wear all the time , and actually people notice this about me and I don't even think anything of it , but I'm constantly

Visual Cues and Verbal Responses

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like touching it , especially when I'm in situations where I'm feeling a little bit anxious , and I just kind of have them in my hand and rub them through my fingers .

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Also , when I was going through a time of anxiety many years ago it's probably like 12 or so years ago , 13 years ago probably , anyway I had panic attacks which I had never , ever had before and my mom had gotten me a miraculous medal and I used to . When I started to feel like that super increased anxiety or like I was going to have a panic attack , I would just kind of hold that miraculous medal in my hands and take some deep breaths and pray . Sometimes I would go outside . Those things can be so helpful . You can also just touch it and say like , yep , that's right , I don't need to numb , I'm good , I'm safe , god's got me , whatever .

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And then also , one of the best things you can do is to have some verbal cues . So actually I I yesterday for a YouTube video that I made , which , if you don't follow me on YouTube , please do , because I create content there that I don't have on this podcast , and my videos are only about seven to 10 minutes long . They're pretty quick and concise . I think you'll like them . So check me out on YouTube at the Catholic sobriety coach . Anyway , this wasn't supposed to be like an ad for my YouTube channel , but I created a video there and posted it yesterday called quit , explaining your no five secrets .

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High achieving midlife women use to refuse a drink . And of course , I wanted to create a sheet or a guide that you guys could use , or whoever wants it can use , to have those verbal cues so that you know what you want to say when you're offered a drink . So I'll leave the link to that guide in my show notes so you can grab that . But what you do with that is you pick some of those phrases that you want to say like I'm good for now , thanks , I mean , there's a whole bunch of them and find the ones that work for you , have two or three and just repeat them over and over and over while you're doing laundry , while you're walking the dog , maybe role play with your husband like he offers you a drink , and you get to say one of these things that is going to build confidence and you will be able to say it with a smile because , honestly , nobody needs an essay . And if you go and you listen to my or watch my YouTube video , I talk all about that like that , less is more and you can just have this air of mystery about you without having to over explain everything . And I am saying this with so much love and compassion because I am a total over-explainer and when I first stopped drinking , I gave people way more information than they needed , like waitresses and waiters and people that did not need to know knew a lot about me . So , anyway , you can have these things that you can say that are going to help you feel confident and assured and , again , having those ready is just going to make you feel a lot better when you go into these social situations .

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Now step six is to stay present during the event . So make sure you're eating real food before the event . During the event , make sure that you're staying hydrated . One of the reasons that we are over drinking in the summertime is you're just thirsty . So make sure you are hydrating your body . Start today , when you are listening to this podcast , fill yourself up bottle of water and drink it down . Hydrate all the way up to the event . And when you get to the event , think of freedom . Just picture your freedom . Laugh , breathe , dance . Don't think everybody's looking at me , because they're not . Don't think I'm a wet blanket on everybody's party . You're not . You are not missing out . You get to wake up to a better day in a better way tomorrow , proud of your choices , whether you choose to drink or not drink . Wake up proud of your choices .

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Also , during the event , keep checking in with yourself .

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How do I feel about how I'm showing up ? Am I still in line with my plan ? If not , totally okay , you can always reset in the moment . No shame , just curiosity . Don't spiral out of control , because that's when over-drinking can happen . Just take a deep breath , reset and say Lord , help me start again right now , just going forward , like . Right now , you don't have to think , to think , oh my gosh , I didn't stick to my plan . Now I'll just drink whatever as much as I want . No , no , no , don't do that . Instead , say I recognize

Stay Present and Reflect on Growth

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what's going on right now and I'm gonna invite the Lord in to help me begin again right now .

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Okay , the final thing is just to reflect that night or the next morning on how things went . So just ask yourself what went really well , what felt really hard , where did I feel most like me and what would I tweak for next time ? This part is critical , so I don't want you to judge yourself Again . You're looking at this from a place of curiosity . You're like blues clues with your handy dandy notebook . You have evidence . You're looking to find out what that desired level of sobriety is for you . That's what you're looking for . And all of these evidence of planning , of you know , messy action , of showing up well , all of these things are evidence that are going to lead you to that , I promise , if you just stick with it .

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So these questions are going to help you coach yourself forward , because that is what we are doing here , ladies . We are growing , we are being formed , and you are doing so much better than you think , I promise , if you are making even the tiniest steps , everything starts with those tiny steps . Yes , we have those goals that we want to get to , but it takes work , it takes practice , it takes building those muscles . So just know that you're doing better than you think and thank the Lord for leading you toward this freedom and helping you grow , because you are , I promise , now , friend . If nobody else tells you today , I want you to know that I am proud of you , not just for what you drink or don't drink , because you are actually choosing to show up for your life . Right now , you are breaking cycles , you are tuning in to the Holy Spirit and each and every day you are becoming more you . So if you need more support , you can come hang out with me in the Sober Summer Reset . Again , I'm leaving it open until July 6th and then the doors close . But if you miss out on that , no worries , or you're listening to this .

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After the Sober Summer Reset , I'm sure that I have other things going on , because I'm always trying to provide opportunities for you . So we are walking this out together , one joyful , sometimes awkward , totally Holy Spirit led step at a time . I want you to have a beautiful , connected present 4th of July . I promise you've got this and hey , if you stick to your plan , that's amazing . If you mess it up a little , still amazing . We are not after perfection , we are after transformation . I'll see you next time and until then , I am praying for you .

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Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsbrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at thecatholicsobrietycoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .