Introduction to Catholic Sobriety

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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Hey friends , welcome back to the show . Today's episode is one that I've sat on for a very long time like months , honestly , probably longer . It's probably been more like two years , probably longer . It's probably been more like two years that I've been thinking about recording it . I've outlined it , I've actually sat down and recorded it and scrapped it and completely talked myself out of it . So this is something that is very important to me that I get right and I approach it in the right way , with the right intentions , and that is what I'm hoping to do today . So why has it taken me so long ? It doesn't seem like such a big deal to be able to share my experience with Alcoholics Anonymous , but I know that this episode is likely going to hit a nerve with some people . I do know how personal recovery is , and I also know how deeply loved AA is by so many , including people I respect and care about . And hey , I have a lot of love for AA as well , because it was the thing that guided me toward sobriety . I mean , obviously , god first , but he used AA to help me change my mindset and it kickstarted not just my sobriety and personal journey , but my faith journey as well . So know that this is not an AA Bash session . I just need to say that clearly up front . But , that said , this will also not be a glowing endorsement of it either . This will also not be a glowing endorsement of it either . This is based on my experience what AA gave me , where it helped me survive and , most importantly , why . As a Catholic woman , I ultimately found myself needing something different , something deeper , something more spiritually aligned with who I am and who I was becoming , and at the time , I could not have articulated that to you , but looking back , I see how the Holy Spirit was just stirring in me , guiding me , and ultimately led me away from AA when the time was right , and that's when I started my slow trek back home to the Catholic Church , which is another story that we're not going to get into today .

Speaker 1 3:17

And I want to share this , not because I think everyone needs to follow my path , but because I get asked about my thoughts and experience . Quite often , people ask me why I don't talk about it very much , and the honest answer is I've been afraid of how it would be received . I've been hesitant because I didn't want to seem ungrateful or divisive , but at the same time , I want to be honest and transparent because there are women out there who are feeling what I felt and they need to know that they are not crazy for wanting something more spiritually rooted . This is really my motivation now for wanting to share this information Now . I would never , ever tell someone not to go to AA if that's what they are desiring , or to leave AA if they were finding

Why I Needed to Share My AA Experience

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it helpful . I am creating this podcast so that other Catholics have the information that I wish I had known before I went to AA . I probably still would have gone to AA , but this information or this knowledge could have saved me a lot of grief and would have at least helped me be aware of what to expect or aware of why Alcoholics Anonymous does certain things .

Speaker 1 4:52

Now I'm not here to in any way say that AA needs to change anything . I'm not saying that they need to be more Catholic , friendly or anything like that . Aa is what it is . It's this long time organization . They have their 12 steps and their 12 traditions and their big book and I'll get to a little bit more about that later in the episode but they have this established . It is working . It works for so many people probably millions of people and I'm not here to say they need to change that .

Speaker 1 5:33

I'm just here to give you information so that if you are in AA and you're feeling a little like maybe it's not jiving with you anymore , maybe you're feeling like you need something more or something different , I just want to let you know why that might be , why you might be feeling that , and that it's okay that you're feeling that , because when I was in Alcoholics Anonymous , when I was having these feelings , I was basically told , like , if you leave , then you're just going to go back out drinking . You're a dry drunk , you're this , you're that , like all these things , even though I wasn't even drinking . This again , is my experience from my home group and the people that I encountered . I'm not saying that this is everywhere , but I am saying that from a lot of people that I've talked to . We definitely have experienced some similar things , so those similar things are what I'm going to focus on . I'm not going to focus on , like the other little things that happened . Okay , hopefully that makes sense .

Speaker 1 6:44

So first I want to talk about what AA gave me . When I was first trying to get sober , aa was really the only game in town . It gave me structure , it gave me a language to understand what I was going through and , maybe most importantly , it gave me a community , because that is during a time that I had to let go of my friends because they all drink alcohol . I had to let go of my habits , which were to go to bars and go line dancing , which I love to do . I couldn't do that anymore and I didn't really know what to do with myself , because that's always what I did . And then I also had to just let go of being comfortable . Now , I wasn't comfortable . As an overdrinker , alcoholic , alcohol use disorder , whatever you want to call it , I was not comfortable . But alcohol did keep me comfortably , as the Pink Floyd song says . So when I started to feel shame , when I started to feel bad about myself or whatever , I could always turn to my toxic best friend , alcohol , to lift me up . But I didn't have that comfort anymore , so I had to get uncomfortable and be comfortable with doing that . So that is where AA came in , because for a season it carried me , and I will never dismiss that . I was raw , I was desperate and I truly believe that it was God's providence that used AA to carry me through that season and again I just really want to honor that .

Speaker 1 8:30

But even in those early days , before I had fully returned to my Catholic faith , there were things that just didn't sit quite right with me the opened-ended spirituality and the idea of God as you understood him , the repetition of the word powerless it just all was a lot for me and quite honestly , it was confusing because in the meetings that I was in and I'm not saying this is at all meetings , but in my home group , and I actually ended up having two different home groups I was always told not to talk about God . So when I told my story of how I went to my first meeting and I was sitting in the car and I didn't want to come in and I felt like God literally carried me into that meeting , and when I would talk about God as I understood him , mind you , I was told that I

What AA Gave Me During Early Sobriety

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talked too much about God and , honestly , I wasn't trying to proselytize anyone or anything at all . Again , I was a very nominal Catholic at that time . I was still really growing in my faith and trying to figure things out , but I was shut down so often and it was very confusing because to me , alcoholics Anonymous seemed like a very faith-based group .

Speaker 1 10:04

If you look at the 12 steps and 12 traditions and even how they talk about the big book , it's all very Christian and so I actually I just want to explore something that's a little outside the box but could be relevant in helping you understand AA culture if you've never been part of it , and its role in recovery . So , specifically , I want to compare the ways that Alcoholics Anonymous treats its foundational elements with the big book , the 12 steps and the 12 traditions , parallel to what we find in Christian churches , right , christian denominations , catholic , whether you're Catholic or Protestant , evangelical , whatever . There's some parallels of Alcoholics Anonymous and religion , and the reason why I want to talk a little bit about this is to show that it can be very confusing , like I know a lot of people who well , I can't say a lot of people . I know that there are a lot of people . I don't personally know a lot of people , but I know some people who actually treat Alcoholics Anonymous as their church . It is their religion pretty much and it's what they devote everything to , and I think some of that , even though I think the 12 Steps , 12 Traditions and the Big Book are great , I think it's so closely based on Christian principles , like in Christian things , like the Bible and the Ten Commandments and the structure of the church , that it can be super confusing . So I just want to preface this by saying that I'm not suggesting any bad intentions at all behind these parallels , but as someone who has walked the path both of recovery and deepening my Catholic faith , the similarities were actually super hard to ignore and understanding them has been an important part of how I've come to see AA in both its strengths and its weaknesses .

Speaker 1 12:23

So let's first talk about the big book . The big book I mean even the word the big book . It's kind of like how we refer to the Bible as like the good book or , you know , sacred scripture , and if you've spent any time in AA you'll notice how central this text is to the program . It is not just a guidebook for many . Most sponsors are going to either work with you as you work through the big book or they're going to want you to have read the big book . Anyway , the big book I hate to say this Again , this is my experience book . I hate to say this again , this is my , my experience .

Speaker 1 13:11

But the big book was treated with the reverence of scripture in the AA meetings that I was in . Okay , so people repeatedly referenced it during meetings , discussed its passages deeply and used quotes from it as guiding principles in their daily life . It is essentially the quote-unquote holy book of Alcoholics Anonymous and there is a lot of good information there . It's important information , but I just the way that it's reverenced , the way that it's talked about , is so , anyway , it was difficult , it was confusing for me . I don't want to say it was difficult , but it was just confusing for me because , again , it just felt like this was their Bible .

Speaker 1 15:06

And the reason for this is because , like the Bible and the Christian faith , the big book lays out Alcoholics Anonymous's entire philosophy , from the nature of alcoholism as a disease to steps necessary for recovery . It has stories in it that are like testimonies of the saints , basically , and they're meant to inspire and guide those on the path to recovery . But here's the thing to me , as a Catholic , it feels like it forms a kind of spiritual foundation , yet without the fullness of truth and divine revelation we find in the Bible . That nagging feeling that something is missing is one of the reasons I started to question how much of my spirituality could really anchor itself in the big book . Yet here's the thing I was constantly encouraged to do so , and I just found that problematic .

Speaker 1 16:04

So now let's talk about the 12 steps . These function almost like the program's own set of commandments , but with a big focus on personal action and self-reflection . So they're presented as the way to live a sober life , just like the 10 commandments are a moral framework for Christians to live a righteous life . Both are step-by-step guides to transformation . The Ten Commandments tell us what to avoid and how to honor God and others , while the Twelve Steps tell us how to confront our own flaws , lean on a higher power and mend relationships . So where it differs , though , is

AA and Religion: Uncomfortable Parallels

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in the lack of unifying truth about who the higher power truly is , even though the 12 steps do say God . The steps point toward a spiritual awakening , but it's left so open-ended that it ultimately depends on your interpretation of what or who you are surrendering to . And that's a big deal as a Catholic , because we are called to surrender to the one true God , not just the idea of God or something we imagine him to be . Okay , so I'm just going to go ahead and share the 12 steps with you so that you can know what they are , in case you're unfamiliar .

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So the first one is we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable . Number two is we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity . Number three is we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God , as we understood him . Number four made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves . Number five admitted to god , to ourselves and to another human being , the exact nature of our wrongs . Number six were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character . Seven humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings . Number eight made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all . Number nine made direct amends to such people wherever possible , except when to do so would injure them or others . Ten continued to take a personal inventory and , when we were wrong , promptly admitted it . Eleven , sought , through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him , praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out .

Speaker 1 18:39

And number 12 , having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps , we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs . So , as you can see , as I'm reading those , did you pick up on just how very Catholic this sounds ? I mean , when you get down to four , made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves . Right , that's an examination of conscience . And then we admit to God and to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs . We do that through the sacrament of reconciliation . We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of characters . Right , we say that when we say the act of contrition , we humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings . And then , you know , we also can make direct amends or make amends wherever possible . We also have our penance that we do afterwards and we , as in step 10 says , continue to take this personal inventory . When we are wrong , promptly admitted it .

Speaker 1 19:52

You know this is so much having to do with reconciliation , but the thing is , the problem that came up for me is that I asked my sponsor if I actually had to tell her or if I could do this and then take it to a priest , and she said no , that I had to do it with her , like I had to do all of this with her , and then later , if I felt like I wanted to go to a priest , I could do that . But yeah , I was advised not to . I was advised to tell her to like write it all down , go through it with her , and then she said that I could burn it or you know whatever . And again , when I asked , she wasn't Catholic or anything . I don't think she was anything of . I don't think she was a Christian or anything like that . But I didn't know that when I first asked her to be my sponsor . And and anyway , she ended up going MIA after I was done with all that , which was even worse , because it's like you pour your heart out to somebody and then all of a sudden they vanish , but then at the same time , it's actually not too bad , I guess , because then I didn't have to face her again , knowing that she knew all that stuff . But anyway , that's neither here nor there . But anyway , that's neither here nor there .

Speaker 1 21:13

Since then I have realized , like that was something I didn't need to do . We have the seal of confession for a reason , and I should have just taken it to a priest , which I did end up doing that much later , but I didn't do it during this time because , again , I was still on my faith journey . It's still kind of confused about what I needed to do , what I didn't need to do , but I did end up taking it to confession later . But yeah , so I think that that was something that I really struggled with when it came to the 12 steps . And again you hear God named in these steps over and over and over again . And yet I was told that I talked too much about God and that just I just didn't get that .

Speaker 1 22:08

So I'm and again , I'm not telling you this because I'm trying to tell you not to be part of AA or that it's bad or anything Like I totally understand the inclusion part of it and not wanting people to feel like they don't belong , but at the same time I didn't feel like I belonged , like I was told that I couldn't really talk about God and what he did for me in the meetings , and that was hard . And again , that's probably could have just been the meetings that I wasn't , because I know that different meetings run differently . But I'm telling you this just so that you're aware , so that you're going in with an awareness . You're not caught off guard thinking like , oh , this is a Christian organization , this is a Christian thing . It's not , it's meant not to be that way . I mean it is because they see the value of God and higher power and all of that and having a spiritual awakening , and that's what the 12 steps are all about . But at the same time it's not meant to be church . So definitely , if you are going to Alcoholics Anonymous , I highly suggest having a spiritual director at the same time . I think that would be extremely beneficial .

Speaker 1 23:30

So the 12 steps are personal but the traditions are communal , so they're designed to provide structure and stability for AA as a whole . They're meant to be in place so that AA continues for generations to come . It's almost like the way the Catholic Church has , you know , our bishops and priests and deacons and canon law and communal practices that keep the faith unified and operational . So , for example , in Tradition 2, . It talks about being guided by a higher power in group discussions . A higher power in group discussions which is meant to mirror the idea of deferring to a divine will . The emphasis on self-support , humility , leadership and unity among groups feels a bit like the principles of stewardship within the church . The difference , though , is that the church's framework is divinely instituted . Its authority doesn't come solely from the community , but from Christ himself . Ae's traditions , on the other hand , are of course , entirely man-made because they're not a church , even if many of the ideas are rooted in wisdom , from spiritual principles .

Speaker 1 24:52

So what I find fascinating about these parallels is how they speak to the human need for structure , guidance and community in our spiritual lives . I mean , even those people who are not spiritual or don't profess a faith can find a spiritual awakening or some sort of spirituality as they work through the steps . So I'm not going to discount that AA provides those things beautifully for many people , but as a devout Catholic speaking to other Catholics right now , I've come to recognize that while AA may lay a foundation , it's ultimately incomplete . Recovery is not just about sobriety , it's about the transformation of the heart through the grace of God , and as Christians , as Catholics , we not only only need how to live a life alcohol free or reduced alcohol if that's what our thing is , but if you're like me and alcohol is not good for you in any way , shape or form , then just not drinking isn't going to be enough . Like , like you need something else , and as Catholics we have that , we have the church , we have our spiritual gifts , we have the sacraments , and I think that that's really just what I want to remind people about . I think it's important for anyone in recovery to reflect on deeper questions of faith , and of course , aa can be part of that process , and it is for so many people . But true spiritual fullness comes from relationship with Christ , who doesn't just help us heal but redeems us completely , and that's something no 12 Steps Big Book or set of traditions can offer us .

Speaker 1 26:51

So as I've been preparing this episode , I've kind of been all over the board with different things and I realized I really just wanted to narrow down like five things that I would like you to be aware of as a Catholic that could come up , that I think might or could be a stumbling block , that were a stumbling block for me and hopefully going into it , knowing about it ahead of time could be helpful or beneficial for you . So the first one is a higher power language and AA . I heard things like you need a higher power and some of us call that higher power God , but it can be whatever you want it to be . Like I heard that doorknob over there might be your higher power , this group might be your higher power , and even though I couldn't quite articulate it at the time , I can tell you that it just didn't feel right to me and I guess I was under the false impression that AA was a Christian organization , like I talked about before . And let me just say like I fully understand and appreciate why AA's language is inclusive . It's what helped me walk in the door without shame or fear of judgment . For many it's a starting point , not a ceiling right . But as my faith deepened , I realized that I needed recovery language that boldly proclaims Christ as Lord . Like I needed more God . I didn't need more AA meetings and that was just a personal thing for me . So just know this isn't a condemnation of AA's openness , but a recognition of where my soul needed more clarity .

Speaker 1 28:42

Now I will say I listen to talks , aa talks from time to time and there's a podcast that I listen to . What is it ? Let me find it . It's called the Firing Line and it has speakers . It has , like Alcoholics

Five Awareness Points for Catholics in AA

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Anonymous , speakers speaking on different topics and all of that . So I do listen to that from time to time and I was listening to one the other day and it , you know , god is so good and he like has you hear things when you're supposed to hear them .

Speaker 1 29:18

And the speaker that I heard was describing a person who was in a meeting and in the meeting somebody spoke up and he was talking about God and all of this stuff , about God and all of this stuff . And he could tell that this new person it was a new person that was there was uncomfortable , and the gentleman that was talking about God extensively I will say he didn't just mention he was like talking extensively about God he was told that he needed to stop , like during the meeting , anyway , so the gentleman went and talked to the other guy the new guy out in the parking lot and said , oh , that's not really something that generally happens , like we don't allow that , and the person told him . The new person told him that he's like I'm so glad that you came and talked to me because I didn't feel like I was welcome , because I wasn't like that other guy who spoke about God , and I actually almost left . But here's the thing like I was listening to that and I'm like , yeah , I can totally see that . But I also know a lot of Catholics that have left because people have been giving their testimonies or their experience , strength and hope and they've talked bad about Catholicism or other Christianity in meetings and that has caused those people to feel unwelcome and want to leave .

Speaker 1 30:45

So here's the thing it's impossible to remain completely neutral . The thing that Alcoholics Anonymous wants everyone to know is that everyone is welcome . Period , end of story . Anyone who has the desire to stop drinking is welcome , anyone , and I think that's beautiful , like one of the questions that they ask you when you come there , especially like if you're working with a sponsor . The questions , the question that they'll ask you when you come there , especially like if you're working with a sponsor . The questions , the question that they'll ask you before they even work with you is are you willing to do whatever it takes to stop drinking ? And that that's a powerful question .

Speaker 1 31:26

So , going back to the higher power language and being inclusive and all of that , I just don't think you can be 100% inclusive , because somebody's always going to feel a little out like that they don't really belong or that they're not really like everybody else . I've talked to clients who have been in meetings not even the ones that are speaking badly about Christianity or Catholicism , but like they're speaking openly about crystals and new age things and there's like witches and all of those things , and that really makes them uncomfortable too . So it's gotta be a two-way street , like if you're not going to let people talk about God at length , you can't let people talk about the occult at length either . So anyway , I don't know how much of that goes on . This is strictly based on things that I've heard , because I don't really I remember hearing too much about the occult and things like that .

Speaker 1 32:27

When I was in the AA meetings that I was in , it was more just an aversion to God , but anyway , the other thing was the powerless message . But let me first say that I remember how freeing it was to actually finally say I am powerless over alcohol . It was like exhaling for the first time the weight that I had been carrying in secret . Well , actually a lot of people knew that I was an alcoholic before I did , but I thought that I was carrying it in secret and I could just finally let that fall to the ground by naming my weakness . Let that fall to the ground by naming my weakness . It just kind of brought that to the light . And I talk about this a lot like with my clients and with people , like just speaking it out and being honest about it begins the healing . When we're just stuffing it and not wanting to talk about it , that's not helpful , so you have to bring it to the light .

Speaker 1 33:27

So in stating that I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable , it was the moment that I stopped trying to white knuckle my way through and just admitted like I cannot do this alone . But over time , repeating that word powerless really began to wear on my spirit . And I will say like my mom is like one of the most positive people that you can meet , and so when I was younger , when we would think negatively or say negative stuff , she was always trying to help us reframe our thoughts in a positive way . And I think that's why I love coaching so much and I do coaching is because I know that thoughts are just thoughts , so they can be changed or they can be ignored and that's okay . So when I was in Alcoholics Anonymous and I was having to repeat certain things over and , over and over again , it just began to wear on me and it was really contradictory to the person that I am . So what once felt like surrender all of a sudden started to feel like defeat , and it just kept me in this state of feeling like a victim and broken , as though I wasn't allowed to grow or hope for anything more .

Speaker 1 34:45

But here's the truth . So Catholic teaching does not leave us in powerlessness . It meets us there with compassion and calls us forward , because in baptism we are claimed for Christ . We are given , you know , the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit by virtue of our baptism . You know those are sealed . At our time of confirmation , we are given unique charisms to go out and help build the church and share Christ with the world . So we are powerless in our own strength , yes , but we are not without help . Just like St Paul says , I can do all things through Christ , who strengthens me , in Philippians 4.13 . That includes healing , that includes sobriety , that includes becoming the woman that God created you to be . So God does not humiliate us with our weakness . He illuminates it with his mercy and then he equips us for the journey ahead . So , yes , there was a time when I needed to say I am powerless . But now , by the grace of God , I can also say I'm being made new , because the Lord is for me and he has already begun such a good work in me . Right , and I could even say that way back then . And then that brings us to the next one , the identity question .

Speaker 1 36:05

In AA , when you are called on to share your experience , strength and hope , you introduce yourself Hi , I am Christy and I am an alcoholic . Now I get why we say this . I said it too over and over and over again . It was a way of breaking the silence , of being honest , of refusing to hide in shame , and for a time that fit me . That acknowledgement helped me start the journey toward healing . It reminded me that I couldn't do it alone and that I needed grace and support and change .

Speaker 1 36:41

But after years of recovery and years of healing through Christ , I started asking like , is this really who I am forever ? Like , do I have to continually say that I'm an alcoholic ? And when I asked people in AA , they said yes , you're always an alcoholic , no matter what , no matter how many years you have , you're always an alcoholic . And that just was bizarre to me , because I'm like , well , aren't I a recovering alcoholic , aren't I a recovered alcoholic ? And you know , like I'm not drinking , so I'm not an alcoholic . But they insisted that I had to say that and so that was part of the reason that I left , because I just I'm just such a firm believer in what you say over and over and over , like your mind remembers , and that's just going to hold me back . So of course , I will never forget where I came from and I will always have compassion for the me who struggled with alcohol .

Speaker 1 37:42

But I know that addiction is not my name . Like the devil calls us by our sin , but Jesus calls us by our name , I am not my sin , I am not that addiction , my brokenness , is not my identity . My story includes alcohol , yes , but it's defined by something far greater . It's defined by my baptism , by the blood of Christ , by the voice of God saying fear not , for I have redeemed you . I have called you by name . You are mine . Isaiah 43.1 . That is who I am , that is whose I am In Christ . I am a new creation , I am chosen , I am beloved , I am sealed with the Holy Spirit and I am not a walking label of my worst day . I am a daughter of the Most High God . So those , all those things I said , those are declarations , those are scriptures , and that's what you speak over yourself all the time . God's truth imparting grace on you all the time . God's truth imparting grace on you .

Speaker 1 38:51

Me saying I'm an alcoholic over and over and over again was not helping me eventually . Instead , I am a new creation in Christ , I am beloved , I am chosen and I am a temple of the Holy Spirit . So , yes , I once said I am an alcoholic , but now I say with even more conviction I belong to Christ , and that identity speaks louder than anything else in the room . Okay , the fourth thing is group sharing versus sacramental confession . Now , I already kind of talked about confession , as in the 12 steps , and while I do believe that there's real power in vulnerability I've witnessed it , I've experienced it there's something sacred about sitting in a circle of people who just get it right , who've walked the same darkness and are doing brave work and turning toward the light , and that kind of honesty can crack something open in us . It helps us shed the masks that we've worn for too long and it reminds us that we are not alone .

Speaker 1 39:59

But at some point I realized that what my soul was truly craving wasn't just group empathy . It was sacramental grace , because emotional release can be beautiful . Being seen and heard by others can be so , so helpful in healing , but it's not the same as being forgiven by God . It's not the same as hearing a priest say I absolve you from your sins . I needed a confessional , not a circle . I needed Christ's absolution , not just peer support . I needed to be reconciled with God to receive the grace that heals not only wounds but souls .

Speaker 1 40:41

And when meetings began to feel more emotionally draining for me than spiritually nourishing , I knew it was time to rethink things , not out of judgment , not out of pride , but because God was calling me forward to something else . He was inviting me to come home , not to a room , but to a church . The beauty is we don't have to choose one or the other Support groups can be . The beauty is we don't have to choose one or the other Support groups can be vital stepping stones . But as Catholics we have access to something eternal the sacraments , the grace that actually changes us , the healing that comes not just from shared pain but from divine mercy . So , yes , I agree that there is real power and vulnerability , but the deepest power that I have ever encountered is the mercy of Christ poured out in the confessional , made real on the altar .

Speaker 1 41:38

Okay , the third thing is the spiritual roots of AA , which I'm still not clear on all this folks , because I've heard a lot of different things and I know that there was I think there was a Catholic nun that kind of were was helping Dr Bob and Bill W kind of get things going and and things as well as other spiritual people , pastors and things like that . But I also learned about the spiritual history , some of the spiritual history behind AA . I heard about things like I've read about things I should say like seances , channeling , and then there was also the new thought influence and it just made me feel a little bit unsettled , not panicked , not judgmental , just as jesus tells us to be alert . So I just want to put that out there again . I have not really dived that , but as someone who's come to believe deeply in spiritual discernment , I just couldn't ignore those things . Now , I'm not saying AA is evil , but I am saying that for Catholics especially , it is okay to examine these roots and ask hard questions . It's not arrogance , it's just wisdom , and it could be something that isn't even that bothersome , but something to be aware of , so anyway . So where does that ? Where does that leave me ?

Speaker 1 43:20

Aa helped save my life and I bless it for what it gave me , but I also needed something that didn't require me to code switch between my spiritual beliefs and my recovery support . I needed a space where Jesus was not just welcome but central , where my healing could be both holistic and sacramental . That's why I started building what I offer through my Catholic sobriety coaching , not as a replacement for AA , but as an invitation for those who want to go deeper in healing and holiness . This is where I felt God calling me to Working with people in recovery , like life coaching for people in recovery , because we still have a lot of things that we need to work through and clean up after we stop drinking , like our lives do not get magically better , and so that's what I help people in recovery through . But you make your goals and then we talk about how to work towards them , and that can be repairing relationships , that can be financial things , job things , you know whatever . It's life coaching , and that's what I do for women in recovery . And then , of course , I work with women who they would honestly never go to Alcoholics Anonymous because they don't necessarily have a drinking problem ,

Finding a Path Beyond AA's Framework

Speaker 1 44:48

but they are realizing that alcohol is becoming a problem for them and it's so important for me to help these women before it becomes a bigger problem .

Speaker 1 44:58

So maybe this episode stirred something in you , maybe you felt uneasy in recovery spaces . So I really wanted to put this episode out there , because I know that there are those of you who have tried Alcoholics Anonymous and it was difficult for you and you ended up leaving and you kind of gave up on trying to , you know , fix your drinking or control your drinking , because you just didn't feel like there was a place for you . And I just want you to know that you're not alone in feeling that way . And then I know that there are some of you out there who do go to Alcoholics Anonymous and you're wondering like it's really not pleasurable for me anymore because it's , you know , maybe you share some of the things that I encountered and it's really causing a conflict for you . That's what this episode is just to let you know like you're not alone either . Like I get you . I get it and I also understand if you are afraid to voice these concerns because you don't want to seem ungrateful or judgmental .

Speaker 1 46:12

I celebrated 28 years of sobriety in February . I've never talked this much publicly about my thoughts on AA , my honest experience with AA , for that exact reason Like I don't want to seem ungrateful or judgmental and I don't want to hurt anyone who is an Alcoholics Anonymous and benefiting from it . But I also want you to know that if something is stirring in you and you're not feeling right about it , just asking these questions is not a betrayal of your recovery . They might be like they were for me the Holy Spirit inviting you into something deeper . So just know that you're not recovering . You are being made new and that journey deserves a spiritual foundation . So if this resonates with you , I'd love to hear your story . My inbox is open . You don't have to walk this road alone .

Speaker 1 47:26

This was probably the most difficult podcast episode I've ever recorded . Please be gentle with me if you disagree with me . I don't mind if you disagree with me , but just know that this was not easy for me , but the Holy Spirit was urging me to just speak this out . That's what I did so . Until next time , take care and stay rooted in the truth of who you are and whose you are . God bless . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend , who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time , and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .