Welcome to Catholic Sobriety

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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Have you ever found yourself thinking is my drinking really that bad ? Or maybe you've wondered do I actually have a drinking problem ? If so , I want you to know that these are questions that I asked myself before deciding to quit alcohol for good , and I can also tell you that every single one of my clients asks herself these exact questions before she comes and works with me . Here's the truth . On the surface , your life might look pretty good . I mean honestly . Most of the women that I work with are high achieving . They have got it all together in so many areas of their life . You may be working hard , taking care of your family , showing up for your commitments and , quite honestly , your drinking might look perfectly normal compared to people around you . But here's the thing Deep down , you feel it . Don't you that quiet voice , the one whispering that something is not quite right . If you've been around here for a while , you've heard me say you don't have to have a drinking problem to realize that drinking is becoming a problem for you . For me , everything shifted when I flipped that question , and instead of asking myself over and over , is my drinking really that bad that I need to take a look at it and reduce or eliminate it altogether , to take a look at it and reduce or eliminate it altogether , instead , I started asking myself how is alcohol affecting my life ? And that's when I started to see things much more clearly . Today , I'm going to share five powerful questions that helped me figure out how alcohol was really affecting my life . These were the same questions that gave me the clarity I needed to start making the changes necessary to change my relationship with alcohol , and by the end of this episode , you'll have those same questions too . They will help you figure out if alcohol is affecting your life in ways that you may not have realized yet and , more importantly , they'll guide you toward the freedom and peace that you deserve . So grab a cup of coffee

What Alcohol Gives vs. Takes Away

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or tea or sparkling water , maybe take a walk while you listen and give yourself permission to reflect on these questions as we go along . All right , let's dig in . So the first question that I had to ask myself is what does alcohol give me and what does it take away ? This is where we start . I want you to ask yourself these two questions .

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Sometimes it's helpful and I usually talk about this in a lot of the programs that I have and with my one-on-one clients is to either grab a piece of paper , fold it in half and on one side , write all the things that alcohol gives you and on the other side , write all the things alcohol takes away , kind of like a pros and cons list . I really recommend getting a journal or something that you can use to collect evidence . I like to think of going through these questions as a kind of experiment , as a way to get curious about your drinking habits . This helps to think about it from a place of learning , a place of curiosity instead of a place of judgment and shame , which is probably how you've been looking at it . So we're just going to be scientists here . You're going to get out a piece of paper or your journal and write down all the things alcohol gives you and all the things that it takes away .

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Alcohol obviously gives you something . That's why you are turning to it over and over again , and more than you would like , probably , which is why you're listening to this podcast episode . Which is why you're listening to this podcast episode . Maybe it's a stress reliever . Maybe it helps you connect with others . Maybe it's a way just to help delineate the daytime busyness and stress to nighttime relaxation . Get really clear on what it is giving you , and then I want you to think about what it's taking away .

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Alcohol always comes with a trade-off . For me , while it did help me cope with certain things or feel better about myself , because I was stuck in shame and guilt and regret , that was just short-term ease at that moment . It took away so much more . It drained my energy for the next morning , it made me unreliable , it robbed me of my motivation , limited my productivity and , most of all , it eroded my self-confidence over time . So how about you ? Is alcohol taking away your ability to wake up refreshed ? Is it taking time away from things and people that you care about ? Maybe it's taking away your sense of control and peace of mind ? This question is simply an invitation to really look at the full picture , not just what alcohol gives , but what it is actually costing

Guilt and Shame Around Drinking

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you .

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Question number two is have you ever felt guilty or ashamed about your drinking habits ? This one can feel a little heavy , but it's so important to ask it . Have you ever felt guilty or shame around how much or how often you're drinking ? Maybe you found yourself hiding how much you drink from your husband , from your friends . Maybe , deep down , you're embarrassed about it . You're thinking why can't I get this ? Or maybe you've made promises to yourself like I won't drink tonight , only to pour a glass anyway .

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I remember drinking before . I would go out with friends so that they didn't actually know how much I was drinking . Or sometimes I would go out and I would be able to drink moderately . But after I got home it was all bets are off and I would just plow through alcohol like , like nobody's business . That caused guilt . It caused shame . It lingered long after the buzz wore off . So take a moment and reflect on this . Does your drinking align with the person you want to be ? Does it reflect your values , your morals and your vision for your life ? Remember , this isn't about judgment . These feelings of guilt and shame might be actually trying to show you something very important . So listen to them , but don't beat yourself up . Just use them to help guide you forward .

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Question number three is have you tried to cut back but struggled

Struggles with Cutting Back

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to do so ? Now , this one hits close to home for so many people . Have you ever found yourself saying I'm definitely going to cut back this week and maybe you start doing a really great job this week ? And maybe you start doing a really great job . You are going strong on Monday , Tuesday , wednesday , but then by Thursday you're pouring another drink . This is such a common experience and I want you to hear me when I say this . It is not about having enough willpower . Say this it is not about having enough willpower .

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When I struggled to cut back , it wasn't because I was a weak person . It was because I hadn't taken the time to fully understand why I was drinking in the first place . Once I started to get curious about the reasons behind my drinking and look to all the reasons why I needed to stop , that's when things begin to shift for me . If this question feels familiar , don't be too hard on yourself . Instead , recognize it as an opportunity to get curious . That awareness can open the door to change .

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I have to tell you time and time again , in my sacred sobriety lab , I hear women say I'm not really where I want to be right now . I don't feel like I'm super successful at eliminating or reducing alcohol in the way that I want to , but I have come so far . Since I started . I have really changed the way I think about alcohol and my habit , and I got to tell you that is a huge win right there , because it's all about progress . It's just like when you go to the gym . You don't go to the gym , work out for a month and expect to be completely ripped and exactly where you want to be physically . No , no , no . It takes a long time , it takes consistency , it takes trying , but every time you make the effort , you are building those muscles and you're building awareness , and that my friend is just going to carry you forward toward finding out what the level of sobriety is that is right for you .

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Alcohol freedom doesn't mean that you can never drink alcohol again , unless that's what you decide . It simply means that you are free to choose to drink or not drink and you have peace about your decisions , whatever . That is Question number four how often do you have trouble stopping

Trouble Stopping Once Started

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once you've started ? This is also a hard question and one that I struggled with for a really long time . I had to get super honest with myself , because , for me , when I asked myself how often do I have trouble stopping once I started , it was 100% of the time . I know that that is not the case for most of you listening , but that was the case for me , and it was something that I had to be really , really honest with myself about .

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Think about it Maybe you tell yourself you'll have one drink , but before you know it , you're on your third or fourth . It's a pattern that can , honestly , just sneak up on us , and it's so easy to normalize it or brush it off . Think of it this way it's a little like opening a bag of chips . It's more high stakes than that , but it's kind of similar . You'll tell yourself More high stakes than that , but it's kind of similar . You'll tell yourself , I'll just have a handful , but then , suddenly , you're staring at an empty bag . I am definitely speaking from experience here . What I do , though , is maybe I'll decide I'm not going to have potato chips , because I know the road that that is going to lead me down , so I don't even want to bother with the chaos that's going to cause me . Or I will make a plan and I'll get a small bowl , I'll put some chips in it and I'll eat from the bowl , knowing that that is enough , and I'll put the bag of chips away so that I don't see it , and I am usually very satisfied .

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You can do the same thing with alcohol . When you make a plan and you are not going to negotiate with yourself about whether or not you can keep going , when you set those limits and you practice keeping those promises with yourself again , you're building those muscles that are going to help you be successful . Time and time again , make sure you pay attention to the pattern , but don't feel bad about it . Just look at it and try to understand how much alcohol you can have that feels peaceful . Again , for some of us that's zero . For others it could be a drink before dinner and a drink with dinner . Sometimes it can be just for special occasions . You have to find out the level of sobriety that works for you , but you won't be able to do that unless you actually try . So experiment , be a scientist and let me know how it goes .

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Question number five our last question is how would your life be different if you were free to take alcohol or leave it with peace

Imagining Freedom from Alcohol

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? One of the things that I ask the women in my Sacred Sobriety Lab to do One of the things that I ask the women in my Sacred Sobriety Lab to do it's a pretty early exercise is to write a letter to their future self . It incorporates their why . It incorporates a lot of different things , maybe their history with alcohol , their hopes , their desires and their goals for the future . So I want you to imagine no more mental back and forth about whether you're going to have a drink tonight . No guilt , no shame , just peace . Imagine what it would feel like , what it would look like , what it would be like to be able to take alcohol or leave it without it , consuming your thoughts and your time .

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For me , this was the turning point , because I stopped thinking about moderating . I realized that that was causing too much chaos for me and it was just not going to work . It just wasn't going to be possible . Then I started to see that in letting go , I was actually gaining freedom . I was starting to experience a peace and clarity that I hadn't known in so many years , and I was having the ability to fully show up in my life . I was building trust with myself and my loved ones . So how would your life change if you felt that sense of freedom ? What would be different ? Give yourself permission to really dream about this . Invite the Lord in and just think about what life could look like if you could take alcohol or leave it with absolutely no chaos . These questions aren't here to make you feel bad about where you're at . They're simply here to help you see your drinking habits in a new light and give you clarity about what's next for you Before you go .

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I'd love it if you would subscribe to this podcast , if you aren't already , and also share it with someone else . I'll be sharing more tools , more stories and more insights to help you redefine your relationship with alcohol . Thank you so much for spending time with me today . Take care , and I will talk to you again

Episode Closing and Resources

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soon . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone , thank you .