Welcome to Catholic Sobriety

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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Today . We are going to be tackling a topic that I think so many of us can relate to , which is finding ways to unwind that don't involve pouring a drink . Whether you are sober , curious , cutting back or simply trying to create healthier habits , I think you will love this conversation . So here's the truth Life is overwhelming sometimes and it's normal to want a break . Maybe it's just been one of those days where everything feels so heavy , or maybe you just want a moment to yourself to have some space and to breathe . I've been there . But if you've been turning to alcohol as your go-to relief or as your way out alcohol as your go-to relief or as your way out there's a pretty good chance that maybe you have started to wonder is this really the best option for me ? Can I find something else that feels good and leaves me in a better place , something that doesn't cause all this chaos in my head . If that's where you are , I want you to pause , take a deep breath . You are in the right place , and we are going to talk about how you'll be able to escape , relax and cope without using alcohol . Now stick around till the end , because I have a tool that I've been using with the ladies that joined my Freedom 46 Lenten Challenge . They are loving it . I'm having my family use it . They are loving it , and I think you will love it too . I'm also going to have a digital download with examples of this tool in my show notes . So , again , stick around and find out what

Identifying Why You Reach for Drinks

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that is .

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The first thing that really needs to happen is to identify the feeling behind the drink . So when you feel that urge , come up , take a moment and ask yourself this question why do I reach for the drink in the first place ? Is it to numb stress ? Is it to quiet anxiety ? Is it to celebrate something ? Or maybe is it simply to switch off your brain for a bit ? I've had some women say that having that drink kind of puts them into the second half of their day . So they have the first half of the day and then having a drink then delineates for them like oh , this is my time Now . Something that I suggest is to spend time journaling about this specific question why do I reach for the drink in the first place ? Once you identify that , then you're already halfway there , because now you can meet that need in a whole new way . What are those alternatives going to be without the drink ? Because drinking is easy . Opening up that wine bottle , pouring it in the glass , having a sip and the effects that come from that is easy . When you have to stop and think , then your brain just is like you know what , sis , this is too hard . You know what's a lot easier . Let's reach for the drink . Let's reach for the drink . But I'm going to give you some tips and tools , really , that you can use , starting today , to have some healthier ways to de-stress or cope , so that you can resist those urges to drink Now .

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The first is to create a ritual for yourself . It's no secret , we are creatures of habit and rituals hold so much power . So if grabbing a drink at the end of the day has been your ritual , I suggest replacing it with something more meaningful and healthier . So maybe brew a cup of herbal tea . Light a candle , take a bath or a shower with essential oils . Make it an experience that signals to your brain you're decompressing . Now , for me , I love lighting a lavender candle , putting on some soft music . It might sound super simple , but it gives my mind and body the ability to shift gears in a way that feels almost indulgent

Five Alternatives to Drinking

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. So that is what you are looking for . The second is to move your body . I know , I know , some of you are rolling your eyes at the thought of exercise , but please hear me out are rolling your eyes at the thought of exercise , but please hear me out . When we move , even if it's a gentle movement , our bodies release endorphins , which is a natural feel-good hormone . Now , it could be 10 minutes of stretching , it could be a slow evening walk or even dancing around your living room to your favorite songs . Keep in mind this movement isn't necessarily about weight loss or fitness goals . It's actually about just shifting your energy and releasing the stress that builds up through your day , up through your day .

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One of my clients has said that what she loves to do is , when she starts to feel that tension in her body , she just takes a moment and she just wiggles it out . I used to do this with my kids . I'd be like get your wiggles out , get your wiggles out , like before we went into a store or church or something . And that's what she does . She just like gets her wiggles out , wiggling her arms , wiggling her legs , wiggling her head . And I've tried it and honestly , it feels really good . I mean , you might not want to do it in a public place , but you know , when you're in the comfort of your own home , just get the wiggles out and it'd be really fun to have your kids do it with you . I'm sure they would absolutely love it . So try that and let me know how it goes . This client , she loves it , she swears by it . So when she has that craving or urge or tension in her body , she just wiggles it out .

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The next is to practice prayerful escapes . Now you don't need to spend hours . Just take five to 10 minutes Pause and breathe deeply . You can put on some , like I love Gregorian chant . If you have the Halo app , you can . There's tons of stuff on there . If you don't , there's other ones . Even just putting together like a Spotify playlist that helps calm you . Or like , for me , my brain can move a million miles an hour .

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So I like having music , even if it's like lo-fi music or something . It just helps me if I'm trying to journal or read , just to have some of that going in the background . Actually , when I listened to Bible in a Year , I use the Halo app and this is not an ad for the Halo app , I'm not sponsored , by the way I just really love it . You have the ability to have , like some background music going , and so I do have some soft Gregorian chant going in the background and for me , I just love that , especially like right now we're in the middle of Lent as I'm recording this episode . Recording this episode and this practice has helped me so much with my intentions , with my fasting , with the things that I'm trying to stay away from . So when I feel the pull or a temptation , especially if I'm stressed and I'm looking to kind of buffer instead of reaching for my phone or whatever it is , now I can just take a few minutes and breathe deeply , put on whatever I want to listen to and journal or read , and that helps so much .

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So another alternative is to really explore creative expression . I mean , when was the last time you got creative for fun ? I'm talking about writing , painting , journaling , playing with watercolors , even baking . These activities can give your mind that escape it craves , but it will leave you feeling proud and accomplished instead of guilty or exhausted , will leave you feeling proud and accomplished instead of guilty or exhausted . So think about those things that you maybe used to love doing and you haven't done in years . Maybe it's time to pick that back up or find a new hobby .

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And the fifth way to kind of escape without the drink is to connect with others . So sometimes drinking may feel like your default way of socializing or relaxing with others . But what if you mix things up ? What if you propose a coffee date ? Or maybe you host a girls night and instead of having wine you get all the fixings for like a mocktail bar and let people create and explore what it's like to have mocktails . You can even use like a functional spirit alternative . I like three spirit non-alcoholic elixirs and you just put a little bit in whatever mocktail you're making and it just gives it a little kick and it does . I think that it has like a calming effect , but I think it probably depends on the person . But there are

Living Fully Present Without Alcohol

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so many things out there that you can try that are great substitutes for alcohol and are way better for you or alcohol and are way better for you . Here's the thing you might be surprised at the depth of connection that you feel when alcohol is out of the picture .

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This is something that I also hear from the women that I work with . They may attend an event where previously they had always had drinks and those types of things . Then they attended alcohol-free events and they come away from it with a completely different perspective , and the thing that most of them say is that they were able to be fully present . And that's the goal . We don't want to escape from this one beautiful life that the Lord has given us . We want to live it to the full . The Lord has given us . We want to live it to the full .

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The thing is , alcohol doesn't bring out your best self . It actually keeps you from discovering it . It keeps you from living fully present and fully alive . And once you realize that you can have fun and be completely yourself without alcohol , that is going to be a game changer . That is when everything is going to change . When you realize that you can cope with stress , that you can relax , that you can feel good without alcohol , that is going to change everything . Every time I talk with a woman who has been alcohol-free for a while or has greatly reduced the amount of alcohol she consumes , over and over again , I hear just how amazing she feels , how glad she is that she invested the time that she works , through the discomfort , to build up those sober muscles so that she can have confidence , and once you do that , you will experience life in a whole new , beautiful way .

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Now , before I close , I did say that I would share a tool with you that has been working well for my Freedom 46 women , my Sacred Sobriety Lab women , and it is called the Dopamine Menu or

The Dopamine Menu Explained

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a Dopa Menu . Is called the dopamine menu or a dopa menu . It's a tool that was created in 2020 by YouTuber Jessica McCabe , who is the author of how to ADHD . This dopamine menu is a way to boost your happiness , because really , that's what we are looking for when we are reaching for alcohol . We're looking for that dopamine spike , because when we consume alcohol , it spikes our dopamine . Actually , even thinking about and planning out when you're going to drink , what you're going to drink , and all of those types of things , those also create little dopamine spikes in your brain throughout the day . You may have heard about this because it's pretty popular , I guess , with TikTok users . I'm not on TikTok , but it's on other social media channels . I honestly don't know where I learned about this , but I'm so glad that I did , because it is a way to stimulate dopamine , which is a hormone and a neurotransmitter that is in our brain and it is known as the feel-good hormone . Now it's my understanding that this dopamine menu is actually a rebranding of what psychologists and other healthcare professionals used to call a behavioral activation , but that doesn't sound so exciting . I really like the dopamine menu . So let me just give you a really quick , brief rundown of what is included on the dopamine menu and then I will include in my show notes a download . You can download an example dopamine menu with your own fill in the blank worksheet .

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So it starts out just like most menus do , with an appetizer . The appetizers on your dopamine menu are short activities , things that you can quickly implement and use in a pinch . So you have a craving that comes up and you're looking for something really quick that can give you that dopamine spike . It can really be anything from savoring a cup of coffee to going on a quick walk . Now the next is entrees or main courses . So these activities are going to take longer . They're just going to require more effort , and that's okay , because sometimes you need something a bit more substantial . This could be cooking your favorite meal , finishing a book , taking a shower , going to the gym , making a nice meal , meeting up with a friend .

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So , for me , I love vacuuming . It's one of those things that makes me feel accomplished . Sometimes , when I'm working in the day and I'm starting to feel a little antsy or stressed , we have a stick vac that I can get out really quickly . It's a lot lighter and smaller than my regular vacuum and I may , just , as an appetizer , get that out and vacuum one room and then I come back upstairs and I do my work and I actually feel really good . If I was going to make that into a main course , I would probably get out my bigger vacuum and vacuum all the main areas downstairs . I might even do upstairs . So it really just depends on how much time you have and what you're wanting to do .

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The next part of the dopamine menu is a side dish . Now , just like it sounds , the side dish goes with something else , so this could be listening to music , a podcast , an audiobook while you're walking or cleaning the house . It could be calling a friend while you're walking . Obviously , I like to walk and do things at the same time . You're walking . Obviously , I like to walk and do things at the same time . One of my favorite things is to set a timer and play beat the clock , where I try to get something done . Maybe I'll say I am going to declutter this drawer and I'm giving myself five minutes and it's kind of a game to my brain . So setting the timer goes along with cleaning . Then the next thing is dessert .

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Now these are things we do in moderation , like scrolling on social media , maybe watching TV or a movie , playing a game , or taking yourself out for coffee or lunch or something , and then the last thing is called special . So these are things that we rarely do but are really great for spiking our dopamine . So that can be traveling or even planning a trip , enjoying a concert , going shopping . There's so many things that you can do that you will look forward to that , you can plan , and even just the planning spikes your dopamine and then thinking about it coming up . For example , we planned a trip to Hawaii last year with our kids Hawaii last year with our kids , and I swear , every time we did a little something else as the date was coming closer to when we got to go . I loved it , okay . So I'm going to go ahead and put that in the show notes , the download for that . Again , it's just my example , and then I have a blank template for you .

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Now I want you to remember when you choose alternatives to alcohol , you are actually giving yourself a gift . You are telling yourself I can work through this , I can take care of myself in a way that honors my mind , body and soul , and that is an incredible act of holy self-care

Small Steps and Self-Compassion

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. Now I want you to walk away from this episode feeling empowered and not overwhelmed . So I invite you to start with one small step this week . Maybe that's a walk , maybe that's a cup of tea or five deep breaths at the end of the day , whatever feels good to you . Maybe that's starting your dopamine menu .

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You don't have to finish it all in one sitting , but just start thinking about it , and you know it's not a one and done thing . You can always add to it if something else comes up . And then I just want you to remember that growth takes time . Progress over perfection . Be patient with yourself as you figure out what works for you . What works for you might not work for me or your sister or your best friend . So just give yourself grace on the days that you still feel tempted and take it as a learning experience . You are allowed to learn as you go . Let me repeat that you are allowed to learn as you go . Thank you so much for spending time with me today . I hope you feel inspired to explore these alternatives and find ways to unwind that actually fill your cup . You are not alone on this path . I am cheering for you every step of the way . I am cheering for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .