Overcoming Alcohol Challenges With Catholic Support

Speaker 1 0:01

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Welcome and Happy New Year . I am so glad that you are here with me . Whether you're sipping on your morning coffee , driving to work on a walk or squeezing in some you time , I want this to be an episode where you feel encouraged , supported and inspired , because I know that the beginning of the new year can be a mix of a little bit of fear for what is ahead of the year and then also maybe having goals that you want to achieve for the year , but worrying that you might not be able to . But then there's also this mix of excitement for , kind of the fresh page . I think of it as like when I have a new journal and I open it up and there's all these blank pages . It's exciting , yet it can be a little daunting as well . So , as I'm recording this , it's day two of 2025 . And I know that a lot of you are starting something like Dry January or maybe some other type of challenge , and a lot of people do dry January . Now I recorded an episode about dry January last year , so you can go back and listen to episode 58 and it's called Exploring the Benefits and Pitfalls of Dry January . We're going to talk a little bit about those things today , but in that episode I talk about what Dry January is , how it got started and some of those things . So you might want to go back and listen to that one as well for some other information and details that I'm not going to be including in this episode .

Speaker 1 2:17

Now , I wanted to record this episode to encourage you , because there is actually a day in January called National Quitters Day , and this is the day when most people who made a New Year's resolution or participating in a challenge of some kind like Dry January , give up on their efforts , and that day is January 10th , so it's usually the second Friday in January . This year it is on January 10th , but I'm not going to let that happen to you . You are going to do it . You are going to make it all the way through January and beyond , because I'm going to help you , because I'm going to give you some tips that are going to ensure that you can stay on track and keep this commitment to yourself , because I really want you to experience the benefits of being alcohol free for 30 days or 31 days . Now , if you decide , you know I don't want to give up alcohol forever , that's okay , like don't think about it forever . But in doing Dry January or other 30-day challenges like this , it can help you figure out what level of sobriety is right for you , which is most of the work that I do with women like you .

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There may even be a little voice in your head right now that's whispering doubts to you , like what if I can't do this ? Or maybe you're wondering how you're going to handle social events or family gatherings or , you know , just evening time , when you would typically have a glass of alcohol , and now you're not . So first let me just say you are not alone in those feelings . Everybody has them , whether they're giving up alcohol or something else . Now I have my own commitments and things that I want to do and goals that I want to do for the year , and I have those worries and doubts as well , but I'm not going to let that keep me stuck . I'm not going to let that keep me from moving forward . I'm going to figure out what those obstacles are that could prevent me from moving forward and plan around them . So if you've been feeling stuck in your drinking habits especially if you are someone that you know , you kind of feel like you have it all together in most other areas of your life then I want you to know that I see you , because it is incredibly common for high achieving women who excel at work , at faith , at family , at leadership , volunteer , to struggle with habits that just don't feel aligned with who they truly are . So I want you to hear me when I say this you are not broken and you are certainly not alone , and I hope today's episode is going to help give you the guidance so that you can experience a transformation this month and beyond .

Speaker 1 5:33

Now , if you are listening to this episode and it's not January , you can still get a ton out of it , because I like to do resets , like three or four times a year . So I usually do a reset at the beginning of the year , at Lent , I do a reset in the fall , and then sometimes I do a reset right before the holidays so that I can be in a good space for Advent when Advent comes . So use this for whatever makes sense for you . So use this for whatever makes sense for you , and if you just have a month that you want to try a challenge to , then this will be very , very helpful for you . So today we are going to set the stage for an incredible month ahead . I just want you to keep that in your mind Not a deprivation mindset , but a mindset of excitement and anticipation , and my goal here is to help you kick off this 30-day challenge in a way that feels strong and intentional and empowering . So by the time you cross that finish line , you realize that this isn't a challenge anymore , and by the end of this episode , I hope you'll feel not only prepared but truly enthusiastic about all the growth and clarity that lies ahead . All right , are you ready ? Take a deep breath , grab a notebook , if you like , and let's get started .

Speaker 1 7:00

All right , now that we've set the tone for an intentional and grace-filled start to your dry January , I want to take a few minutes to talk about something that I know might already be kind of weighing on your heart right now those fears and those doubts that can creep in any time we start a big challenge like this , and for many of you , one or more of these might sound familiar . For many of you , one or more of these might sound familiar . Maybe you're worried about how your friends and family will react when you say , no thanks , I'm not drinking right now . Will they judge you ? Will they think that you're going through some kind of crisis ? Or worse , will they stop inviting you all together ? Or perhaps you've tried something similar before and you're just afraid of failing again . That thought can be so discouraging and it keeps many of us from even trying in the first place .

Navigating Alcohol Challenges With Mindset Shifts

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And then there's that fear of if you don't do it perfectly , or if you don't get the perfect start , then you've messed everything up . That is not true . Dust yourself off , sister . Just go forward again . Don't sit in it . Do not let it keep you from your goal . Count your days sober , if that's what you want to do . Maybe you don't have 31 days completely without alcohol , but maybe for you , the huge goal would be to drink considerably less than you already do . So in that case , keep track of your sober days or set those boundaries like I'm only gonna drink one day a week , you know , whatever it is for you , that's what I want you to do . If you set too big of a goal , then it can be super discouraging , but set a goal , that is not going to be super easy either . You want it to challenge you .

Speaker 1 9:05

And then we have this fear too and I know that it resonates with so many of us the fear that somehow letting go of alcohol might just mean losing control in other parts of your life , especially if you're a high achiever , if you have things mostly together . Sometimes we can falsely feel like alcohol is helping us hold it all together or that it's how we are caring for ourselves . So , if you are listening and you're thinking , if I already feel stressed and overwhelmed , how can I handle my life without what feels like my safety net right now ? This is the thing that I look forward to . At the end of the day , you're not alone . These fears are so common and guess what ? They are not a sign that you're weak or unworthy of making this change . They are part of the process . Something that you'll hear me say time and time again maybe you've heard me say it already a billion times , but I'm going to say a million more is to be a scientist , to get curious , to look at things not from a place of judgment , from a place of pure and genuine compassion and curiosity , so that you can then take that not as a failure but as a learning tool , as a stepping stone toward where you want to go .

Speaker 1 11:49

Missteps are just part of the process and anytime we change a habit or behavior , especially one tied to our identity or our social life , our brains naturally push back . It's a defense mechanism . Our brains are designed to keep us safe , to keep us comfortable and to do what is easy . So of course , they're going to hate this . Your brain is going to hate this . It's going to tell you you're going to fail , but just say look , I love you , we are going to do this . It's not always going to be comfortable , but that is okay , because growth comes in the discomfort . So here's some good news these fears are not going to define your experience . They're absolutely manageable if you approach this whole challenge with a mindset of grace and , again , curiosity , and don't forget to sprinkle in a tad bit of humor . You do not have to be perfect . All you have to do is be willing . You just have to have a willingness to try , a willingness to learn , a willingness to examine the facts and pivot and plan . So I just want to share a story with you really quick , to illustrate what I mean .

Speaker 1 13:14

I my husband and I , many years ago , decided to do Whole30 one year . So for those of you who aren't familiar , whole30 is like a 30-day reset for your eating habits . During this time you cut out things like sugar and alcohol , grains , dairy and a bunch of other things just to help your body reset . And it also , which was the biggest win for me , was to identify any food sensitivities . Now , it's not meant to be a diet or forever lifestyle . It's simply a tool for clarity and mindful eating , but it does help you shift the way you eat and make that a lifestyle . Now I have to be really honest with you .

Speaker 1 14:02

The first time my husband and I tried Whole30 , we've done it probably , oh gosh , maybe seven or eight times and the first time we tried it , we both totally missed the point . We were so focused on the rules , we were focused on what we couldn't have , and that turned into just being focused on restriction , having a deprivation mindset , and I was constantly counting the days until I could have my normal food again and I didn't really allow myself to reflect on my why , why I was doing it in the first place , and because of that place and because of that , I didn't build lasting change . I was just worried about getting through that 30 days . But here's the thing I didn't give up on myself . I did not do that perfectly , but I learned something valuable that first time , that second time , that third time and eventually I approached Whole30 with a completely different mindset and instead of just eliminating things , I looked at it as an opportunity to reset not just my diet but other aspects of my life . And not only was I resetting , I was taking time to reflect on how and why I was making the choices and what those benefits were . And every time I did Whole30 , I gained more clarity about which foods were really bothering me , which ones I needed to cut out for good , which ones I could have sometimes and which ones could stay because they didn't really bother me .

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Okay now , why am I telling you this ? Well , because dry January is so much like that . It's not just about cutting out alcohol for 30 days . It's about giving yourself a chance to reflect , to notice the times that you might be reaching for a drink and asking why ? What am I really looking for in this moment ? It's a chance to reset not just your habits , but the way that you view alcohol and your relationship with yourself , with God , with your family , and , just like with Whole30 , you don't have to get it perfect the first time , the second time or any time to actually gain something from that experience . You might have days where it feels super easy , and then you're going to have days where it is so challenging and that's okay , you're human . But every single moment of time that you spend pouring over your choices , how they made you feel and what it added to or took away from your life , every little insight that is going to bring you closer to the transformation that you are craving .

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All right , now , take a deep breath . We've got this . Now let's move on to tackling some of the challenges ahead and exploring some practical strategies to help you make these 30 days not just possible but powerful and , dare I say , pleasurable . Okay , now it's time to get practical . We've talked about naming our fears and shifting our mindset , so now I want to help you build your toolkit . These are your set of strategies to not only survive dry January or whatever no alcohol challenge you're doing , but to thrive through it . So I want you to think of this as a collection of simple and actionable ideas that you can pull out whenever you need them . These tools are going to help you avoid over drinking , handle social pressure and , most importantly , stay true to your goals while still enjoying yourself .

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So let's start with one of the most common challenges during the 30-day alcohol commitment or 31-day

Nurturing Social Connections Without Alcohol

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, I guess , for January what do you do when someone offers you a drink ? Whether that's at a party , a family gathering or even something casual like I don't know , maybe dinner or lunch with a friend ? There's always that moment where you need to answer the question why aren't you drinking ? And if you're anything like me , that can feel a little intimidating at first . But here's my advice Plan your response ahead of time . Planning is going to help you through this entire month . Plan , plan , plan .

Speaker 1 19:05

I know January is all about planning , right , planning for the year ahead , but just planning for these interactions and what you want to say when someone offers you a drink is going to empower you . So you'll know what you want to say Now . You do not need to overexplain or apologize . Just keep it simple and confident . You can say something like no , thank you , because that is a complete sentence . Or you can say I'm sticking with water tonight , or I'm taking a break from alcohol and I've been loving it . What I've found is that most people won't push past that and if they do , it's often more about their own insecurities than it is about you . Your decision is valid simply because it is yours .

Speaker 1 19:55

Another helpful tactic is to come prepared with your own non-alcoholic beverages Because , quite honestly , those who are drinking don't always think about those of us who do not drink . They will often have just water or soda . But I will say it's getting better and better , because there's all kinds of sparkling waters now and mocktails are kind of becoming a thing , and there's a lot of non-alcoholic adult beverages on the market today that weren't even here five years ago , so it's becoming more and more common . But I always say to bring your own non-alcoholic beverages just in case they don't have something for you , and just think of it that way , like it's not really their responsibility to have something for you , and just think of it that way Like it's not really their responsibility to have something for you . If they do , then that's a great gift , but if not , you're okay because you've brought your own things , whether that's sparkling water or even something as simple as tea . Maybe you could even ask if you could bring some ingredients to make a fun mocktail for anybody who wants it .

Speaker 1 21:12

Having a drink in hand , though , can ease the pressure , and it will get people not to ask you if you want to drink . So if you have something , then you can say oh , I'm good , I've got this . But , again , I just want to invite you to practice saying no thank you confidently , and I know it sounds so simple , but the way you say it matters . If you respond with hesitation or discomfort , people are going to be more likely to question you or coax you into changing your mind . But when you decline a drink with a smile and a tone that's like hey , this is no big deal , just no , thank you , calm confidence will reflect back at the person offering , and they are much more likely just to move on .

Speaker 1 21:59

Okay , so now that we've talked about how to handle some of the social pressures , let's look at another fear that I know is on many minds , and that is losing social connections . Now , many of us get into drinking , and our drinking accelerates because it makes us feel like we're part of something . It makes us feel connected in some way . So fear of losing that is a real fear , and maybe you're feeling nervous that if you take alcohol out of the equation , you'll suddenly become a social outcast or feel disconnected from your group of friends . First of all , you are not alone in feeling this way . It is seriously one of the most common concerns that people have when it comes to something like dry January or reducing alcohol for any reason . But here's the truth the connection that you have with others isn't about the drink in your hand , isn't about the drink in your hand . It's about time , energy and the intention that you put into being with others .

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Quite honestly , I find , as a sober person , if I'm in a room full of people who are drinking , when I'm talking to them , I don't feel listened to . I don't feel like they are really hearing me , because I almost feel like I'm talking to somebody who has their phone up in front of their face . I'm wondering are they going to remember this conversation ? Or maybe they're much more jovial or friendly with me than they typically are ? I just think that it isn't really true connection . It's a false connection . And when you are the only sober person in the room which you're not . But if you feel that way , you will see that too . You will see what I mean and you will see people in a different light not in a judgmental light but you'll understand a little bit more about how alcohol affects people and you .

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So I would just say that instead of relying on alcohol center activities to connect with people , maybe you could start thinking about some creative alternatives , like meeting a friend or swapping out a happy hour for a coffee date or taking a walk where you can just talk and be present with each other . If you are hosting something , just try something like a fun game night , a potluck dinner or even a movie marathon with popcorn and snacks . And here's a big one for us high achievers Look at fitness activities as a way to connect . Taking a class at your local gym , going on a hike or even a neighborhood stroll can be such a great way to bond with friends without alcohol . Another benefit of exploring these types of alternatives is that it opens doors to new dynamics in your relationships . You'll start to realize which connections are about you , your interests , your values , and not just about shared drinking habits . I promise you it will be incredibly eye-opening and , honestly , very liberating .

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Now will there be moments when you feel a little out of place ? Sure , but these moments will pass and as you collect those wins , you will just get stronger and stronger , building those sober muscles you know , knowing what you want to say , knowing what you want to do to prepare in advance for events , and pretty soon it will become second nature . Now , remember , you're not sacrificing your connection time . You are redefining that , and what you gain might be something far more meaningful than you really had before . Okay , now that we've worked through some of the tools and strategies that will help you get through the immediate challenges of dry January or whatever alcohol-free challenge you are doing , I want to shift our focus towards something even more exciting , and that is what happens after this month , because it isn't just about getting through 30 days without alcohol .

Speaker 1 26:41

That is one of the mistakes that I thought when I did Whole30 , that it was about the 30 days and then I would go back to how I ate and lived life before . But I was missing the point , because I was doing this to find out how to feel better , how to eat in a way that made me feel good and healthy and energized , and I want you to think about this 30 or 31 day challenge the same way . Again . When I think back on my experience with Whole30 , I realize now that it seemed like just a simple 30 day food reset . But looking back and all the different times that I did it , I can say that it taught me so much about transformation as a whole . I approached that challenge initially as if it were a finish line . If I could just get through the 30 days without breaking any rules , then I would have succeeded . But what I didn't realize back then real success wasn't about those 30 days . It was about understanding who I was becoming during those 30 days , and that's exactly what dry January can be for you too .

Speaker 1 28:05

It's not just about saying no to alcohol for a month . It's an invitation to step into deeper self-awareness and control . It's about freedom , about reframing habits that might not be serving you , and setting those powerful intentions for the year ahead . Intentions for the year ahead . It's also about asking yourself what is God calling me to in this season and how can I use this time to become more aligned with the person that he created me to be ? Of course , some of you are wondering , and maybe even a little fearful when you think what happens after January 31st or after this challenge is over . Well , don't worry , because you don't have to throw away all this progress after 30 days . Think of it as building a foundation that you can carry forward .

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First , decide what balance looks like for you moving forward . For some of you , that might mean continuing to live alcohol-free , and for others it could be making intentional choices like only drinking on truly special occasions or eliminating weeknight drinking for good . Whatever you decide , make sure that it aligns with your goals and values , not someone else's expectations of you . Second , find a way to integrate reflection into your life on a consistent basis and take it to prayer . A simple tool like journaling can make such a big difference . Just take a few moments each day and think about how am I doing , what's working well , what do I want to change ? And also just ask God for guidance and strength as you move forward , as you move forward . And finally , do not do not underestimate the power of grace or your spiritual gifts . You're going to have moments where you stumble and fall short . You just will . We all do . But those moments don't erase your progress . They do not define you . What matters is how you respond . Extend to yourself the same grace that God so freely gives to each of us . Get back up , keep going , because you are on a lifelong path of growth , not just a 30-day sprint .

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Now , as we wrap up today's conversation , I want to anchor everything we've talked about in the beautiful truths of our Catholic faith , because as much as Dry January is about self-discipline and personal growth , it's also a spiritual practice in its own way . Self-discipline connects so deeply to scripture . Think of fasting , prayer , or even the call to deny ourselves and take up our cross . It's not about deprivation for its own sake , but about creating room for God to work in us and through us . One of my very favorite passages comes from 2 Timothy 1 , verse 7 , which says For God gave us a spirit not of fear , but of power and love and self-control . This challenge that you're embarking on , or have embarked on , is about stepping into that spirit of self-control , not as a punishment , as a gift , as a way to invite God to transform you . And now here's the best part your worth is not tied to how perfectly you do this . God's love isn't contingent on whether or not you make it 30 days without a drink . His love is constant , no matter your wins or your struggles . He is with you . Know this , hold on to this and walk in freedom because of it .

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Now I also want you to take a moment to celebrate your wins , whether they are big or small . You can

Celebrating Wins and Dreaming Big

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email me , you can message me in my show notes . I have a little link in there that says send a text . You can tell me your wins there . I know sometimes this can be something that we don't want to just tell everybody about , but we want to share it with others , or share our wins , and wins look different for everyone . So maybe for you , a win is waking up without regret after a gathering with friends , maybe it's being more present with your kids or having an honest conversation with a loved one about why you're doing this challenge in the first place . These mini victories matter so much , and they're foundational for the lasting transformation that we've talked about Now .

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I remember one moment during my own challenges when I had complete clarity . I was sitting with friends laughing and enjoying the moment when , all of a sudden , it hit me . I didn't need anything external to enhance the experience I was having , and when I realized that it was such a gift , it was a grace , and I want to encourage you to look for your own moments like that , because they are a reminder of the freedom and joy that you can experience when you align your habits with your values . Now , finally , let's just take a moment and dream a little bit . Take a moment and imagine your life a year from now . Picture a version of yourself who has carried this sense of freedom with you well beyond 30 days . How has that impacted your relationships , your health , your faith ? Can you see it ? Can you sense the openness , the clarity , the confidence in that future version of you ? That , my friend , is what , stepping out of the chaos and into alcohol , freedom , can offer Not just an absence of something , but the presence of something so much greater . This is the starting point , a way to set the tone for your year , and I hope that you know that I am here with you every step of the way . You are not alone in this process . God is with you . I'm cheering for you . You have lots of other sisters who are also cheering for you and , no matter what , you are already worthy and loved .

Speaker 1 35:25

Now , before I close out today's episode , I just want to take a moment and remind you that you do not have to go through this experience alone . We are building something sacred here , a space for growth , connection and transformation . And if you're ready to take this challenge deeper , then I have some incredible resources that I would love to share with you . First , be sure to check out my 30-day alcohol reset for Catholic women . Now , I did this reset back in November live , but I'm making the content available for just $27 . You get access to the workbook , to each week's videos , to . I have like 30 days of prompts , something to do each day , and then I also did coaching calls each week , so I think that there's like five coaching call replays that you can listen to as well . So you can have access to that content again for just $27 . I'll have the link in my show notes .

Speaker 1 36:29

And then , of course , you probably heard me talk about my Sacred Sobriety Lab . That is now open and up and running . The Sacred Sobriety Lab includes a course , a self-guided course . I do weekly group coaching , and then I have my Sacred Sobriety Society , which is a supportive community of women who are on the journey with you . It's a safe , faith-centered space for encouragement , for connection . You get practical tools . Again , you get coaching . One of the huge benefits of group coaching is you get to hear other people get coached and that is super helpful as well .

Speaker 1 37:11

So if you do the 30-day reset and you pay the $27 for that and then you decide , oh , I'd really like to go deeper and do the lab and have community and coaching , let me know and I will take that $27 off of the price of the lab as a discount for you . So there's that . The lab doors will definitely be open through January 31st . I just want to give everybody an opportunity to decide whether or not they want to join the lab . Then I'll reopen it again just ahead of Lent . So you can find links to both of those opportunities in my show notes .

Speaker 1 37:52

Of course , I do provide one-on-one coaching . You can go to my website if you want to check that out or if you want to book a discovery call with me . Lastly , if you know someone who might need this message , I'd be so grateful if you'd share my podcast with them and also if you could rate and review my podcast . That would be so helpful because then it will be shown to more people and hopefully I can help even more women who are looking to reduce or eliminate their alcohol consumption for any reason . Well , happy new Year , god bless you and I'll look forward to seeing you soon .

Speaker 1 38:30

Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode

Catholic Sobriety Podcast Subscription and Offer

Speaker 1 38:37

and I would invite you to share it with a friend , who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time , and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you .