Understanding Women's Relationship With Alcohol

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Ever since I read the book Drink the New Science of Alcohol and your Health by Professor Nutt , I was completely blown away to learn just how much alcohol affects our brains and why . And I don't know about you , but when I know the why of something , it often gives me the clarity and drive that I need to make the desired changes that I want to do . But I just haven't put into practice yet , and I hope that that is what this episode will do for you . And because I don't feel qualified to speak on this very important topic , I wanted to find an expert that could help explain the neuroscience behind alcohol , overdrinking and developing a disordered attachment . So , as you might imagine , I was completely over the moon excited when my guest today reached out to me and I just couldn't wait to have her on to me , and I just couldn't wait to have her on .

Speaker 1 1:28

Lindsay Marie is a mental health nutrition coach and creator of Master your Mood , a program dedicated to helping women naturally restore their energy , happiness and mental health through personalized nutrition . With her relatable approach and science-backed strategies , lindsay empowers women to break free from their vices and create lives they truly love . That's what we all want . Right , it is yeah . Thank you so much for being here , lindsay .

Speaker 2 1:57

Thanks for inviting me , or however God made this happen .

Speaker 1 2:00

Exactly it was definitely a God thing . So why don't you just go ahead and just start by telling us a bit more about yourself and how you got into doing the work that you do ?

Speaker 2 2:10

Sure , yeah , I , like you said , I'm a mental health nutrition coach and I got into this space because there was a time in my life where I didn't feel like myself anymore . I had three babies really close together and in hindsight what that did was deplete my brain chemistry a lot and I didn't replenish it very well . And then I had gotten to this space where , like I said , I just didn't feel like myself . I was yelling at my husband , my kids , like screaming at myself , screaming in my pillow , like just really not , um , not who I was created to be for sure , and feeling really crappy about the fact that I didn't know what to do about it . Um , so I was chasing after all the things um , chiropractor , my diet , um , therapy , uh , gosh , all of the things . Like all of the things that they say self-care .

Speaker 2 3:04

I would go to the . I would go to the things like all of the things that they say self-care . I would go to the . I would go to the coffee shop and just stare at the ceiling , like one night a week to just like try to shut down my brain and my life and just relax . Date nights with my husband on a regular basis . We would go on vacation without the kids , like nothing was really making the difference until I learned about my brain chemistry and how , when I had those three babies really close together , I kind of got wonky with my brain chemistry and never , never fixed it . So turning my attention to the brain chemistry helped enhance all of those things that I had been trying and spinning my wheels .

Speaker 2 3:45

Once I got my brain chemistry humming , I felt good , I felt human , I felt like , oh yeah , this is how God designed life to feel , like what I was feeling before . So just that change was gosh nine years ago and it's still that way , like it hasn't . I haven't gotten to a place where , like , there's enough awareness now , like you said , like once you know right , like you can do something about it . And so learning that , replenishing my body , um , and just being aware , um , for the last nine years , has continued to keep me in this space of purpose and clarity and just , yeah , loving life in that . Regretting , you know , creating a family or whatever it was at the time . I certainly was resentful of being a mother back in the day because of the life I created and didn't feel great about . And so now I live on my dream farm and have four kiddos and , yeah , just really feel blessed every day and grateful every day and can live in that space of gratitude and purpose and delight in the Lord for just the life he's blessed me with .

Speaker 1 5:04

Thank you so much for sharing that . I am just listening to you and I'm sure I can just imagine so many women out there just nodding their head . Yes , like the whole , like you didn't feel like yourself anymore . You were , you know , just not really enjoying this life that you had created . You didn't know how to shut your brain off , that I hear that so much . Like , how do I shut my brain off ? Especially because I work with women who are using alcohol to try to shut their brain off and they don't know what else to do or how to do it . So not only am I sure that they see themselves in your story , but they're probably so excited with the hope that you provide too , and they want to know why , like , how did you do that ? Like , how did you do that ? So why don't we start with you just telling us what some of the key symptoms are that are in our bodies that help us to relax and feel pleasure and find focus ? Because I think that's mostly what we're all struggling with .

Speaker 2 6:09

Yeah , it's such a beautiful thing that God created us with these systems to feel this way . Naturally , he wants us to be happy , he wants us to relax , he wants us to have the energy to do the things that he put us in this world to do , and he wants us to just be comforted and have pleasure and just put that big smile on your face and feel great , like authentically , and not like you're hiding behind something . He created all of that in us and , yeah , it's a beautiful thing . So , yes , you have four systems in your body that are designed to do that . You have your happy engine is what I call it your relaxation engine , your energy engine and your pleasure engine , and all four of those systems are fed through amino acids , and amino acids come through protein . So it's really important to eat protein , because if you're not eating protein , you're not getting the amino acids that all of these engines need in order to fire . So these systems that I'm talking about the happy engine , relaxation engine , pleasure engine and energy engine really have like scientific names right and they're really probably more common these days than they used to be . So I can tell you what they are right .

Speaker 2 7:29

Your happy engine is your serotonin . Your serotonin system was put there because God wants you to be happy . Okay , you have catecholamines , which is the most popular one is dopamine . These days People hear a lot about dopamine . So your dopamine , your catecholamines , were put there to give you energy . If you don't have energy , then there's something going on with that catecholamine system . The relaxation engine is your gamma . So that system is in your body to help you relax , because God wants you to relax . And then your pleasure engine are those endorphins , those happy , loving , just carefree , like I , just that like smile that comes on your face when you're truly like enjoying your children or your little girl or your little boy like runs up to you and like mommy , you're home and like gives you that big hug and that , those feelings that you just feel they're meant . God wants you to feel , those . God wants you to enjoy life in that way . That's why he gave you your endorphins , or your pleasure engine .

Speaker 1 8:30

Fantastic . That's really helpful to know and understand all of those different things , and I really love that you explained that we can actually fuel those engines with protein , because we are hearing so much about protein these

Impact of Protein on Alcohol Cravings

Speaker 1 8:42

days . Right , I'm a woman , a perimenopausal woman , so I get that messaging all the time Like you need to be eating your protein . It used to be drink your water , drink your water , drink your water . Now it's like eat your protein , but you explained it in a perfect way . Like I just knew I needed to eat my protein to build muscle and do other things , but now , knowing that it also fuels all of those engines as I love the names of them it just makes it even more . I want to eat it even more . So , like I said at the beginning , like knowing things just helps so much .

Speaker 2 9:20

Yeah , I have another big reason you should eat protein , actually that has to do with addiction as well .

Speaker 2 9:25

So protein I tell people to eat it for two reasons . One , because of why I already said , but also because of blood sugar balance . When you eat protein , your body is not so dysregulated when it comes to the sugar . It helps balance out your sugar . And when you are on a blood sugar roller coaster , it's a lot easier to fall into your vices .

Speaker 2 9:48

And when your blood sugar is spiking , your body starts to feel all the symptoms of that blood sugar spiking You're tired , you're cranky , your eyes are burning , you know , like something's happened right . When that's spiking and you go to the food , or you go to the alcohol , or you go to the chocolate , or you go to the carbs . You go to the chocolate or you go to the carbs , whatever it is , to try to feel better when it's peaking . And then , oh shoot , it went really high . Now your blood sugar is dipping , dipping , dipping , dipping , dipping , and now you have the opposite problem , but you get similar . You get similar symptoms again . So the symptoms that are really like .

Speaker 2 10:23

In a lot of cases , this is where the alcohol comes in the strongest , because your blood sugar just went down so low . Now alcohol is going to make your blood sugar come back up , and so you start to crave alcohol , If that's already one of your vices . You're more likely to go to the alcohol if your blood sugar is dipping . So by eating the protein , you're giving yourself all of that fuel that you need for these feel good engines , and if you eat it often enough often enough , which I say like every three to four hours you're keeping that blood sugar stable throughout the day to set yourself up to not go into those valleys of your blood sugar where you're inevitably going to be up against this craving for alcohol again , if it's already one of your vices .

Speaker 1 11:07

Yeah , that's really helpful to know because I think a lot of times women are just or people in general are just craving alcohol and they don't know why , or they think that they're craving it for the alcohol . But a lot of times it could be a variety of things , like I always have my clients check in with themselves , like are you hungry , angry , lonely , tired that whole , or are you bored ? Or . But I mean , then there's this have you been getting enough protein ? Is your blood sugar spiking ? You know ? That's just another impacts our brains to crave it because we've made a habit of it for so long that it's depleted some of these . Is that correct , yeah ?

Speaker 2 11:56

So not only has it depleted some of them , possibly , but like what happens ? It's fascinating . We'll talk about serotonin . Okay , amino acids when you eat the protein , like fire that serotonin neurotransmitter system and it makes you happy . What's tricky is alcohol comes into your system and can look like the same thing and it fires your serotonin . So it's not that it's not firing your serotonin , it is firing your serotonin , legitimately firing your serotonin . That's why it's making you feel happy , it's making you feel more relaxed in that social environment , because your serotonin is firing because of the alcohol .

Speaker 2 12:34

But then what happens is like your body gets like used to that and it's like , oh well , I don't really need to go through all the work in order to pull the amino acids out of that protein because it's a lot of work , right , you need a lot of things going on in your body to digest that protein and do it well .

Speaker 2 12:50

So the alcohol is mimicking what your body actually needs to fire the serotonin . So then your body ends up craving that alcohol because it's getting lazy in actually doing the protein part of things and it's like , oh , I can just drink alcohol and get it real fast , leading to one of those cravings . So , yes , it depletes your serotonin , but really because it's replacing it , like if you stop , stop drinking it , it doesn't have to take a long time . I guess is what I'm saying , like , like when I , when I hear , like well , my serotonin is really low , like it doesn't have to take forever and ever and ever to build that back up . Um , just like the alcohol can do it quickly , there's other hacks that we can do to do it more naturally to get your serotonin to boost up as well .

Speaker 1 13:46

And when you're talking about that . Thank you for explaining that so well , but when you're talking about that , so I had somebody on who was talking about , like how it depletes our dopamine and then we rely on it to get that dopamine because we are not producing it on our own and it can take anywhere from 30 to 90 days to like reset those receptors or , you know , like messing with all of those neurotransmitters or those chemicals that are in our brains that help us to sleep , to be awake , to be happy to , you know , do all those things . I guess the reason I wanted to point that out is , like also be patient with yourself , because it may not happen right away . Like I tell people all the time you'll sleep so much better when you do not drink alcohol . You will sleep so much better . Now , it doesn't happen right away , though , right , because is it the chemicals in your brain that have to kind of learn how to reset to be able to help you sleep and stay asleep , because it's been disrupted from the alcohol ? I don't do you know ?

Speaker 2 15:04

Yeah Well , let's say you're let's say again you're using alcohol for . Let's say you're using it for relaxation , because that's a typical thing , like in the evening . Like you , you know the kids are finally in bed and you got a glass of wine and you just like it's my time to relax . What's happening in that moment is what the wine's actually doing is firing your GABA . So your GABA is firing so you can relax . Now you can go to sleep because you're relaxed .

Speaker 2 15:31

If you just cold turkey , no more wine , I'm just going to you know willpower through this . I know that if I go long enough without the wine , like things will start to reset . Your body's not relaxing . Your body got used to the wine to fire your GABA and now you're not drinking the wine . So your GABA is not firing , so you're not relaxing , so you're not sleeping Right At first .

Speaker 2 15:58

What I do with clients is we actually use supplements to fire that GABA . So if it's an evening thing , we just make sure that you are taking supplements in the evening in order to fire that GABA system , so that your body isn't completely like cold turkey , Like what you expect me to fall asleep now . You used to drink wine to help me relax and now you're just going to not do anything to help me relax and you're going to expect me to fall asleep . No , I value it , so it's . I mean it works eventually , but it's . It can be a lot of willpower and a lot of mindset and a lot of stuff , and you can make it easier on yourself by getting some supplements to really support that GABA . In the evening You're like , oh , it's still fiery , Now I can still go to sleep , Right . And then gradually , at that point , you know , then you can start making real lifestyle changes when you're supporting yourself with that personalized nutrition Because you're not trying to willpower through everything which gets exhausting and hard sometimes .

Speaker 1 16:58

Yeah . So , from your experience , why do you think that for some people it's so hard to say no and for other people it seems like it's easier for them to stop ? You know , with like one or two drinks Like I'm a person that will just if I have one , it's lights out Right , but if my husband has one , he's like one and he's great . You know , like sure how . What's the difference ?

Speaker 2 17:26

Yeah , yeah , everybody reacts to alcohol differently , just like everybody . Honestly , like in this world , like we know , everybody reacts to corn differently , everybody reacts to dairy differently , everybody reacts to alcohol differently for one reason or another , and it's probably a lot more complex than dairy and corn and gluten and all that stuff .

The Root of Alcohol Cravings

Speaker 2 17:48

But in my experience and from what I've learned , someone let's say somebody's allergic to alcohol . That might be why they can't say no . That might be like when you're allergic to alcohol , when you're having an abnormal reaction to alcohol , you're actually craving more . It's not normal to like be able to drink so much and keep craving . And keep craving like something's going on in your body with the way it's processing that alcohol . That is needs to be repaired .

Speaker 2 18:15

Some people are just allergic . Some people it's omega-6 deficiency . Your essential fatty acids are something's off with your essential fatty acids . So you're depressed , right , and what the alcohol does in that case is it lifts the depression . But really the root cause is that your essential fatty acids aren't being processed correctly , and that's what we got to work on . Other times it's there's some enzyme in your body .

Speaker 2 18:48

I don't remember what it's called . It's really hard to say , so I don't ever remember it , and I think it's that you have too much of it , but like you convert alcohol so fast and it creates this like it . It's something about your opioid receptors , which is your endorphins . So you're getting that like remember that pleasurable feeling with the kid walking in and you're like , oh you know , and you're so happy to see your kid and it gives you those all those great endorphin feelings .

Speaker 2 19:16

For some people that's what it feels like when they drink alcohol and so like , and that's the only way they know how to get that feeling then at that point into that extreme is to drink it . So and then for me personally , like I don't have to drink a drop to go have fun and feel relaxed and alcohol's never like been like a thing in my life that I've ever really wanted . But it's not . It's really from my perspective about like my biochemistry and my family history , like my genetics and all that stuff . Like some people just don't have the , they don't have the vice , because chemically they've just never understood why does somebody want to drink . You know where other people are like how do you not drink ? But it's so much in in our biochemistry and really getting to the root of of the nutritional reason why someone's craving , everybody's different ?

Speaker 1 21:22

Yeah , absolutely and it's . I always say that alcohol is just a symptom , like overuse of alcohol or over drinking alcohol . That's just a symptom of something else . So , whether it's , I always say that alcohol is just a symptom , like overuse of alcohol or over drinking alcohol . That's just a symptom of something else . So , whether it's something chemically that's happening within our bodies , whether it's we're looking to not think about how bad today was or , you know , like trying to forget about things , it can be to try to heal trauma that will never be healed with a substance .

Speaker 1 21:49

And I always like to tell people it's like taking an irritant , like something that's irritating you or that you don't want to do or you don't want to think about , and packing snow around it . Right , so you just pack snow around it and it's good Like it . That's why you keep going back to it , because it's doing something for you . But as soon as that snow melts away , you're left like , like you were saying , the depression lifts for a moment , but then it's back as soon as that buzz wears off and it can be even worse . That anxiety , that depression , your sleep is worse . You wake up in the middle of the night . It helps you fall asleep , but you wake up in the middle of the night . You wake up in the middle of the night . It helps you fall asleep , but you wake up in the middle of the night .

Speaker 1 22:31

And so I like to tell people that when you're doing , when you're making changes , you're taking that irritant . And I used to work in jewelry forever , so I think about like diamonds and gemstones , but I was thinking about a pearl and how a pearl is an irritant and an oyster puts layer after layer of nacre to build this treasure and this really solid thing that will not ever like melt away . And that's what we do with good habits , that's what we do by resetting those neurotransmitters , that's what we do with good nutrition and taking care of ourselves . And , like , so much of the work that you do with women is building up that resistance to those irritants so that you can deal with them . And then when it's , you know it doesn't just melt away , like you've been able to deal with it or find ways to cope that are so much healthier and better for you .

Speaker 1 23:29

But I think we don't understand that a lot , because it's oh it's fixing this problem right now , whether it's alcohol , food scrolling , whatever , because we all have our things that we use to make ourselves feel better , to numb out , to cope , and yeah . So that's why I love the work that you're doing , because I think that you're giving oh , I know you're giving women like really good tools and resources and you know a way to get through that without having to turn to it . It's not that you never will , but it definitely gives you more like tools in your tool belt .

Speaker 2 24:08

Yeah , I would say people feel like empowered around it after working with me . Like it's like , whether that's coffee or sugar

Empowering Women's Sobriety Through Nutrition

Speaker 2 24:16

or alcohol , it no longer controls their life . They don't have to rely on it . Um , you know , they can choose to have a cup of coffee instead of needing it every morning , and they can choose to have a drink if that's in their wheelhouse and that's what they want to do . Like it's not . It no longer becomes this thing that their life is depending on , right .

Speaker 1 24:42

Yeah , they're free from it . They're free to choose . That's what I always say . That's how you know when you reach your desired level of sobriety Right , because you can take it or leave it with peace . It's not causing chaos and that's like what you were saying with coffee or sugar or whatever , not feeling compelled or controlled by it anymore , when it when you're not thinking about it and planning about it , and you know , like doing all those things that we do , yeah , and we're really , really attached to something , yeah , so I'm glad that you pointed that out . So how can somebody know if their cravings for substances like alcohol are rooted in that imbalance or if it's like a deeper need for healing or something else ?

Speaker 2 25:30

Sure , so I would say that's always where I start , personally is with the neurotransmitter system . The neurotransmitter system , and how can we like support the neurotransmitter system first , to make sure that that's not why it's happening , because to me that's the easiest thing to fix . We can get some supplements , we can get your neurotransmitter systems firing , um , to get it to make it so . Life isn't so hard . And then , as we see , those different energy and those different engines fill up or not fill up , then that's when we start to go , okay , we've got the nutrition , we've got the supplements to help you fire these neurotransmitter systems naturally , but you're still craving the thing .

Speaker 2 26:17

Like now we go like what's deeper ? What's deeper ? Because they might go from their buckets . Like when you take , if you take the mood checkup , you'll like get like a different score for each one of your engines and somebody will start at like a two , like they're supposed to be at 10 , if it's like all the way full , and they'll start at like a two , and so we'll get them from , say , a two to a six .

Speaker 2 26:42

Well , that feels amazing , you know , it feels amazing , but it's like , yeah , but 10 is like heaven , so maybe let's try to get to an eight , and so there it's like when they're feeling like at that six , they're probably where it's more of a habit now instead of a I have to have this . It's like wait , I could actually say no right now , but I'm just going in the fridge , because I always went in the fridge at eight o'clock at night , so I could probably just stop going in the fridge , you know . But it's still like just on the edge of it's like that next level where things start to get , I think , more into the differentmitter systems are firing so much better than they were when they were at their lowest .

Speaker 1 27:47

Yeah , that's great . So , supplements , nutrition , exercise what are your pillars ? Do you have certain things that you suggest ?

Speaker 2 27:57

The protein is number one . So everybody who comes into my program knows that I'm going to ask them every time we talk when's the last time you ate ? Before we even talk , anytime , they send me a message and something's going off . They're going to tell me and I ate one hour ago and this is what happened . So it's very much around getting the protein in your body to balance the blood sugar . And then it's the supplements . We use amino acids to make sure that we are supporting the right engines that need the most support to get them to be able to eat right , Right , Like a lot of people come in and they're like Lindsay , I can't eat protein every three to four hours .

Speaker 2 28:40

I don't even know what to eat and I don't have time to figure out how to make it easy , and so it's like , okay , well then we're just going to actually get your neurotransmitter system firing so that you can learn how to relax and tolerate stress and have the energy to do this , and then we'll go back and we'll fix the food part of your lifestyle .

Speaker 2 28:56

But and we'll fix the food part of your lifestyle but first we got to get you out of this overwhelmed state and we're just going to do that with some supplements as a quick crutch and then go back to the food . I also use labs in my program that get really specific about which foods are really affecting your metabolism . So when the foods are affecting our metabolism they're not getting digested well and then that leads to all the autoimmune stuff . So between the supplements and the really personalized food plan based on the not really a food plan , it's like substitutions of . You know , eat this type of apple instead of that type of apple , because this type of apple , because this one metabolizes in your body way better than that one , and stop . So , yeah , just stop stressing your body out with the things that you're eating and support your stress tolerance by taking these different amino acid supplements for whatever engine needs the most support in your brain engine needs the most support in your brain .

Speaker 1 30:02

Yeah , that's great . That makes so much sense to tackle that first and then , you know , address everything else if that's the main cause . So one of the things that I get a lot with women who come to me is that they just feel , you know , they feel so alone , they feel like there's something wrong with them . They've been just beating themselves up constantly because I have no willpower , I'm never going to get this , you know , like all those mean things that we like to think about ourselves , and so I'm always all about like , let's look at this , let's examine this from a place of being like a scientist and not being judgmental , but what if they just still feel broken ? Like what do you have to say to women like that ? That ?

Speaker 2 30:51

God designed you on purpose and that your brain and your body is meant to feel good .

Speaker 2 31:01

And if you don't feel good yet , it's just that you haven't quite figured out what your body is trying to say and what it really wants . And so my hope is that , by listening to this and following Christy and myself , like just the information that we've shared gives you the hope that you need to keep pressing on , because , as long as you're here , god doesn't want you to give up , and your life , your purpose , really depends on you being able to live with energy and happiness and be able to relax and be able to just soak up all those lovable moments in your life , and he wants that for you . He wants that for you no matter what , because he designed you that way . I know he did , because you're human and you're woman and you're listening to this , so you're meant to feel good . And , yeah , it's only a matter of trust that he really did create you that way , to believe that he created you that way and that there is a way through this , there's people to help .

Speaker 1 32:18

Oh , that was beautifully said , Lindsay . Thank you so much for that . So I know that everybody is going to want to know where they can find you , where they can learn more about you , and definitely about your mood tracker that I mentioned at the beginning . Is it the Master , your Mood program ? But you also have a mood tracker . Anyway , I'm going to stop talking . You just tell them all the things .

Speaker 2 32:45

Oh , buddy , yeah , so my program is called Master your Mood , but the easiest way to just kind of get a gauge on how these engines are operating in your body is to take the mood checkup . You can find that at moodcheckuprebuildyourbrainnet and that will take you through a series of questions that asks you about different symptoms with all these different engines and you'll be able to see which engines are really struggling the most and hopefully really start to connect some dots on how you really are designed to feel great and it's just this engine that needs a little extra support right now . So once you fill that out , you'll get a customized like it's a graph with all the different levels of how all your different buckets are full right now and any next steps to take as far as supporting all of those engines will be included in the mood checkup results that you'll get in your email after you fill it out will be included in the mood checkup results that you'll get in your email after you fill it out .

Speaker 1 33:41

Perfect , I will have links in the show notes . And yeah , I just thank you so much , lindsay , for being here . I've learned a lot , and I'm sure that my listeners have too , so I appreciate you and I look forward to talking to you again soon .

Speaker 2 33:56

Thanks , so much for having me , Christy . I really appreciate it and I wish the best for all of your viewers and yourself .

Speaker 1 34:01

Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend , who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , the catholic sobriety coachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . At the Catholic Sobriety Coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time , and remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone , thank you .