Catholic Sobriety Podcast Holiday Strategy

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christi Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here Today . I am going to make a bold claim , but I know you guys are up for it . I'm here to tell you that you can drink less through the holiday season . I'm going to tell you how you can do that and why it is the best season to start to drink less or not at all . And I know your brain is like that is not going to work . That is impossible . That is highly improbable that I will be able to do that because , christy , there are events , there are family situations where I feel like I need to numb out , there are trips , there are xyz . Whatever those things are for you , whatever those excuses are coming into your head right now as I say the words you can drink less or not at all this holiday season . Write those down . Write all of that down , because we're going to overcome your objections and I'm going to tell you why this is the best time and how you can do it . So , as we are heading into certain times of year when I work with people and they're like I really want to stop drinking , but I can't do it now because we have a vacation coming , or I have my brother's wedding , or I have this , or I have that , or I have this , or I have that , and then , of course , a big one is . But the holidays are coming and I totally get it . You want everything to be perfectly aligned . You don't want to have anything that might trip you up . But I'm here to tell you that is the best time to make these changes . Because if you figure out and accomplish your goal of maintaining your desired level of sobriety whether that's drinking a couple of drinks a week or only on special occasions , or maybe eliminating alcohol altogether If everything is easy and simple for you , then when you are faced with adversity , when you are faced with an event or a vacation , or a holiday or your birthday , it is going to be so much harder to maintain your commitment to yourself . I'm here to tell you there is no perfect time to make these types of changes . There's just not . There's always going to be something that comes up . So you have to learn that when there are obstacles , that is just life , that is just what is going to happen and that's what you are going to face as you make this a lifestyle change , a lifestyle choice .

Speaker 1 3:15

Now the first thing I want to say is a lot of us will say I will make that change in the new year , I'll make that change . I'll start fresh , fresh slate and make those changes in the new year . I'll make that change . I'll start fresh , fresh slate and make those changes in the new year . But how long do your new year's resolutions generally last when we can make these changes ? Now , before the holidays , before new year , think about what the new year new you is going to think , waking up knowing that you've done the hard work before you toast the new year and you can toast with non-alcoholic champagne . I did it last year and it was wonderful that you is going to be so grateful , so grateful for the work that you did all through the holidays to get her there so that she can start the new year not feeling bad about herself and having this list of changes that she needs to make , but knowing that you were able to make those changes ahead of time , and your future self will thank you .

Speaker 1 4:22

You might be thinking how am I going to do this ? Well , you may have tried it in the past and it didn't work , but I'm here to tell you it can work and it will work if you make a conscious effort to do the work . It really just means that you need a different strategy . Now here's the thing . It is so normal for you to think that you won't be able to drink less over the holidays Everyone thinks that but I want you to recognize that fear and worry is what is holding you back . You are having thoughts and , as we've talked about this before on the podcast , you're having a thought and that thought can be changed . And when you start thinking that you can't replace that thought with all the reasons that you can , all the reasons that it will work , that it could work , I want you to really think about that . Shut off the lies , Shut off the part of your thoughts that are saying you can't do it , you have no willpower , it's going to be so hard , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , and I want you to focus on and intentionally write down why it will work , why this time is different . What is different about you ? What is different about your ? Why this time ? Why is it this time ?

Speaker 1 5:41

Now , one of the big things that will help you is that why , knowing your deepest ? Why ? Because that will keep you on track , that will keep you motivated to reach your goal . But how do you do that ? I explain that in my free five-day sacred sobriety kickstart . So make sure you go to the link in my show notes and sign up for that . You don't have to change your drinking habits at all . This five days is just about gaining clarity around your drinking and figuring out what alcohol is giving you and what it's taking away , and this just kind of lays the foundation for the work that you're going to do later . So again , that's my five-day sacred sobriety kickstart . Sign up for that . You will learn how to find your deepest , why You'll learn , you'll figure out , like writing a pros and cons list , how to recognize triggers and urges and avoid them , and a whole bunch of other stuff . Five days packed full of goodness . So definitely grab that .

Speaker 1 6:45

Here's something else I do not recommend Do not go back to past experiences to figure out if this is going to work this time , because that is not helpful . Just because something happened in the past doesn't mean that you're doomed to repeat it over and over . I'm sure you can think of lots of things that you had done in the past that you're doomed to repeat it over and over . I'm sure you can think of lots of things that you have done in the past that you've been able to overcome , that you've been able to make healthier changes in , and you can do that with this as well . You have the freedom and ability to choose what you do each and every day . You have the freedom and ability to choose whether you pour yourself that glass of wine or whatever alcohol you like . You choose that . You are in control . Nobody is holding a gun to your head and making you do that . You can tell yourself no . So again , don't think about the past . Think about the fact that that is something that happened in the past .

Speaker 1 7:48

But I like to talk a lot about being scientists . You can look about , look at the past . I recommend looking at the past and all the things that happened to lead that led up to that particular effort not being fruitful or not being able to be achieved , and then I want you to look at that and say what do I need to do differently ? That's how the past can be helpful . But don't sit in the past thinking , oh , I'm never going to do it because it failed this time , this time . This time we're looking at it with curiosity , we're looking at it as evidence of something that happened . But we can take that evidence . We can take what happened and use it in building a new plan and a new protocol going forward . I want you to plan how this year will be different . What are the changes that you can make that are going to make this year different ?

Speaker 1 8:50

During this time of year , I work with my clients to make a plan for the holidays . So we're talking it could be from Halloween all the way through the new year . It could be from Thanksgiving all the way through the new year . It could be from Thanksgiving all the way through the new year . But what we start out with doing is making a list of every single event that you think that you are going to have for the holidays . It can be very beneficial to do this , like within 60 days , so like November 1st through December 31st , but take into consideration time with family , any traveling , any events , et cetera , and just list all of those out . You don't have to be making a plan for each of those yet , but make a list for every event that you think that you are going to have over the holidays , like for me , one of the events that we always have is my husband has his office Christmas party . We don't always go to it , but we've gone to it more often than not over the years . We almost always make an effort to get to that , so that would be an event that I would put on there . So again , any family events , traveling events , things like that Do you go caroling ? Do you ? Does your Knights of Columbus have like a spaghetti dinner ? I don't know Whatever those things are . Just make a list of them .

Speaker 1 10:14

And then what I want you to do , or I invite you to do , is intentionally plan what you will and will not do at those events , what you will and will not do at those events , what you will and will not dream . And then I want you to think about what is going to get in the way , what is going to be hard for you , and how you want to feel at the end of that event or the next day . How do you want to feel about yourself or what are the feelings you want to have . I can tell you that I have never had somebody say to me Christy , I am so upset that I did not drink last night . I regret that so much . I wish that I had drank last night . I wish that I had had that cocktail , that wine , I wish . No , it doesn't happen . Nobody ever says that Zero percent of people have said that to me , but I hear very often I regretted that I shouldn't have drank that much . I shouldn't have had that extra cocktail . I should not have gone to that event because I knew I was going to be tempted and I was , and I gave in . I gave in because I didn't have my plan in place .

Speaker 1 11:39

So make a plan , stick to it and think about how you want to feel after and how you want to talk to yourself after , because when we have broken a promise to ourself and we have given into an urge , often the enemy is at us and he's like oh , look what you did . You did it again and just like pokes at our wound pokes , pokes , pokes . It makes us feel shame and terrible about what happened . But if you keep that commitment to yourself , you're just going to be so proud of you , so proud of you . Now , even if you do drink and you had made the decision not to , I don't want you to feel shame about that . I don't want you to use that to beat yourself up or to be judgmental again .

Speaker 1 12:36

We are going to use that as evidence of how to proceed in the future , and one of the first questions I want you to ask is did I drink from a place of peace , like , was I fine with it , or was I reacting ? Or was I trying to numb out , or was I trying to cope ? And that will , that very first thing , will give you clarity about how , about what your level of sobriety is going to look like for you . If you went to that event and you had one glass of wine and you felt great about it , you felt fine about it and you chose that with peace , even if you didn't plan for it . But you were , were like , no , no , I've been really good , I am going to do this and I feel good about it because I'm only going to have one and it's going to be fine . And if you do that and you're good with it and it was from peace , that's great , that is a choice and that's part of the process . But if you have that glass of wine and then you are beating yourself up the next day , or that one glass of wine led to three more , those are things to look at and consider .

Speaker 1 15:05

So , again , we are going to the past , not as proof for all the ways that you failed . Instead , you're going to

Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays

Speaker 1 15:12

examine the past with curiosity , be a detective , be a scientist , learn from it and plan . Now here's the great thing the holidays are going to provide you with situations that aren't as common in other times of the year . You are going to learn how to handle those people who want to offer you hospitality and have a hard time taking no for an answer when you say no thank you . But you're going to learn how to just keep saying no thank you Because , again , they don't have to wake up with your choices , and it's not always that they want you to fail , it's just that they . That's their way of offering you hospitality . So you're going to learn how to deal with those people throughout the holidays . You're also going to learn how to be part of more drinking situations or situations where alcohol is present , and learn how to resist that , because there's just a lot more of that happening during the holidays , and you're also going to learn how to reframe your brain around the idea that the holidays are made for overindulgence .

Speaker 1 16:27

Right , because as Catholics , we know that Advent is a time where we lay things down , where we detach from things so that we can make room for Christ . And we can't do that if we are constantly filling ourselves with food and drink and spending and all of these things that are distracting us from what the season really and truly is really and truly is . So if you can't lay those things down for you at this point , lay them down for him . Lay them down for Jesus . Root them out , because the more space that you can make in your heart for him , the more meaningful your Christmas season will be . And when Christmas Eve or Christmas Day comes for you , you're going to have that feeling like what you have on Easter , when you've really lented , well , right , when you've been able to detach from things that keep us from God and you've been able to replace that with things that bring you closer to God . That's what we do at Advent we root out some of those things that are keeping us to God . That's what we do at Advent we root out some of those things that are keeping us from God . We surrender them to him out of love . We joyfully surrender them , and then we pick things up that are going to lead us closer to him , that are going to make the journey , that make that waiting and anticipation so beautiful . We're going to be able to savor the holiday even more , savor Advent even more .

Speaker 1 18:07

The great thing about reducing or eliminating alcohol through the holidays means that you are going to be fully present and fully alive . You are going to see all the things that you're supposed to see . You're going to hear all the things that you're supposed to hear and experience all the things that you are supposed to experience . You will be able to just savor every moment . And you might not be as anxious , to be honest , because when we are drinking , when we are over consuming , we feel anxious . Alcohol makes us anxious . It is a depressant , it depresses us and then also there's anxiety that comes from shame and regret and guilt and hiding things . So not drinking will lessen your anxiety over the holidays , so that you don't have to feel like you have to numb out .

Speaker 1 19:03

One of the ways that I'm helping you through this season is I am offering a 30-day alcohol reset for Catholic women . In this reset there is going to be five sessions of group coaching . One is the week of thanksgiving and one is the week after thanksgiving . The last one is the week after thanksgiving and I am going to be doing group coaching . So if you have questions , bring them to me . If you have situations that you're worried about facing , bring them to me . Bring them to me . If you have situations that you're worried about facing , bring them to me , bring them to the group . And even if you don't say anything in those group coaching sessions , other people will have things that they want , that they will say , and maybe you're experiencing the same thing or something else . And listening to people get coached is just as good as being coached yourself , because I find that when I hear people being coached so often it applies . I can apply that coaching to something that is happening in my life as well .

Speaker 1 20:08

The other thing that the 30-day reset includes is community , because so many times when we decide to drink less or not at all , we find that we feel like we're the only ones , that nobody else is going through this , that nobody else is trying this , that we are the only ones . And this community I know will be so beneficial because you guys can talk to each other anytime and it's not a Facebook group , it's a private group where you guys can ask yourselves , ask each other questions , you can share what's going on with you , maybe you can share an experience you had . It's a safe place where you can just let your emotions out or talk about what your struggles are , and I'll be in there as well . But I find that those types of groups are so beneficial because not only do you have me helping you , but you're helping each other and lifting each other up . So it offers support , encouragement and accountability . So again , my 30-day reset cart opens October 28th , this coming Monday on the Feast of St Jude , and it begins on November 1st . So make sure that you register for that . I will let you guys know when the cart opens and then you can get registered for that . And the 30-day reset goes again all the way through November and the last group coaching session is that week after Thanksgiving . So you have so much support and encouragement and I know it will be so beneficial .

Speaker 1 21:54

Now , I know it can be hard , especially during the holidays when we go to , let's say , a friend is having a party or doing things , and they offer you something to drink and you definitely don't want to seem rude or ungrateful . So you can always say like , if they ask you , would you like this glass of wine , would you like a martini , a margarita ? Whatever they're offering you , you can just say no , thank you . But then you can offer something else that they can give you , because they really just want to offer you hospitality . So you can say no , thank you . But if you have some sparkling water and like a squeeze of lime , I would love that or I would love a soda . So just give them another option of something that you might like . The other thing is , if you are worried that they're not going to have good options for you , bring your own Also . Something that's super fun is to bring all the fixings for mocktails and then you could just be kind of like the mocktail bartender . I mean , obviously ask your friend first and make like a signature holiday mocktail that you can make for everyone , and that will be so fun because you still have something that's festive , that looks beautiful , that's in a nice glass and you can share that with others and maybe others will want to drink a little bit less too .

Speaker 1 23:18

Now I also want to just talk about something that can trip you up , and I'm going to let you know what that is so that it won't trip you up , so you'll recognize it when it happens . And that is kind of that black and white thinking . So either you make this decision like I'm giving this up , I'm not going to have it , or I'm only going to have one , and then , let's say , you give into the urge and then your brain is like , well , you totally screwed up , so we might as well just throw in the towel . Don't do that Like . Just recognize that for what it is . Again , use that , use what happened as evidence of what you need to change in the future . Look at it and see what needs to be tweaked in your plan to ensure success .

Speaker 1 24:11

You're also you may also be worried about what people are thinking about you , but I want to tell you that most often , almost always , nobody really cares what's in your glass . They just want you to have fun and , as I mentioned earlier , they don't have to live with your choices you do . So remind yourself of how you are going to feel in the morning , waking up , knowing that you did not consume alcohol the night before and know , and know that you made the best choice for you . So again , if you think that you have messed everything up and then your brain wants to just say , to heck with all of it , I'm just going to forget about it and I'll look at it again in the new year , don't do that . Just know that it was a misstep and you can definitely just start over . And now you have the wisdom and insight that you didn't have before .

Speaker 1 25:18

When you are making your plan , I keep saying plan , plan , plan , plan . But honestly , this is what is going to save you . So when you have a plan , you are going to think about who is going to be there , what kind of things might trip you up . You are also going to give yourself an exit strategy . So if you are feeling super uncomfortable now I'm not talking about just a little uncomfortable . Uncomfortable is good . Discomfort is not going to kill you . You will get through it . You will be fine . But if you get to the point where you're like I either need to leave or I'm going to drink , then leave . That is when you make your exit . Set those boundaries . Know what you're doing . If you're there with your husband or a friend , let them know like this is my plan and I need you to back me up and I need you to help me be accountable and stick with this plan , because I might not want to leave , but I know that if I really , really , really really want this to work , I need to be strong and I need to stick to my plan . And my plan is if I get to the point where I'm either going to drink or I need to leave , I'm going to leave Now .

Speaker 1 26:44

If you can get through the holidays maintaining your desired level of sobriety or finding out what that desired level of sobriety is , or even just decreasing the amount of alcohol you are consuming by at least 75% , you are going to be so happy and so proud of yourself . But to do that , you have to first of all let go of perfect time , thinking there is no perfect time . The perfect time is now , because this is when you want to do it , when you're motivated to do it . So seize the day and go for it . The other thing is to break that idea of missing out . You are not missing out . Let go of the fear of missing out and think about the joy of missing out . Think about all those things you are going to gain by letting that go , by setting that down ? How is that going to be beneficial to you and your health ? How is that going to benefit your family ? How is that going to benefit your experiences ? How is that going to make New Year's you so happy and excited and proud ?

Speaker 1 27:56

And then the other thing is don't go it alone . Have , maybe grab one or two of your girlfriends and ask them if they want to do this as well , if they would like to reduce or eliminate their alcohol consumption . Get your own accountability group . Or , like I mentioned before , join my 30-day Alcohol Reset for Catholic Women and get into that community of women working toward the same goal . Get coaching , get that group coaching . Have those people that you can bounce ideas off of or ask questions to or share experiences with , because they are going to understand where you're coming from , because they are going through it too . And then don't let other people's opinions or ideas or perspectives influence what you have resolved to do . This is a choice that you are making . This is a choice that is going to help you in the future . Now and in the future , don't give up . Do not give up .

Speaker 1 29:02

And if you think that maybe you don't want to do it right now , then don't . But I want you to ask yourself what is continuing to drink costing you ? What is it costing If you drink through the holidays , like you have continued to drink through the holidays in the past ? What will it cost you ? What will you feel in the new year ? And if you say it's not costing you anything , then , friend , you do whatever . But if it is costing you moments , if it is costing you peace , if it is costing you time , time , it's time to let it go . Set it down , lay it down and invite jesus in , invite him in to walk with you on this journey . You can do it . You can do it .

Speaker 1 30:00

I am rooting for you and look for that cart to open on October 28th for my 30-day alcohol reset for Catholic women . Get into that group , be part of the community . It is only $97 . $97 for 30 days with group coaching , with weekly group coaching , with daily prompts , with a community of women working toward the same goal . I'm going to have some bonuses , too that I'm including as well . So I'll have an episode that drops that day letting you know this is happening . I will also be sending that information out to my list . So if you want to get on my email list , then sign up for my five day sacred sobriety kickstart . You have nothing to lose with that . It's just going to get you some information and some clarity that is going to help you as you journey through the 30 day reset . So I hope to see you there .

Speaker 1 31:06

If you have any questions , feel free to contact me . You can find me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach . You can go to my website , catholicsobrietycoachcom , or you can send me a text . In my show notes there is a send a text link . The problem with that is that I cannot message you back , but I will get that question and maybe I'll include it in my podcast episode on Monday if I get it in time . So thank you so much for listening . Share this with a friend who it would benefit , and have a blessed day .

Speaker 1 31:45

Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode

Finding Support in Sobriety

Speaker 1 31:51

and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer . Visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone , thank you .