Lessons of Catholic Sobriety Journey

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Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , kristy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a Joyfield Catholic , and I am the Catholic Subriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Today marks 27 years of sobriety for me and in honor of that , I want to share with you 27 things that I have learned in sobriety in all of these 27 years that have been given to me by the grace of God . So with that , my first lesson that I've learned , or thing that I've learned , is that all things are possible with God . When I stepped into the rooms of AA , I told the people there that I was only there by the grace of God , that if I had to get there on my own power I would not be there , but because God was with me , carrying me all along , I was in those rooms and I meant it then and I mean it now . God is so good and without him I would not be here today . I don't know what would have happened to me had I not found sobriety .

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The second thing is to practice gratitude . I realized once I got sober that it wasn't just about stopping drinking . There was a whole healing journey that I had to go on . Quitting drinking for me was the thing that I had to do . It was causing too much chaos in my life . I was not able to drink like quote unquote normies . I definitely could never moderate and I knew that I would have to cut it out of my life forever . That didn't mean that I wasn't selfish . Still , it didn't mean that I didn't have all of these other disordered attachments , and so it has been a long journey to break free of those . I'm still working on some , because I am human and the world we live in is just filled with so many different trappings and temptations . But I find when I focus on gratitude , when I focus on the good , no matter how small , it multiplies the positivity in my life , it breeds humility and it produces such good fruit .

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The third thing is to take ownership . I had to stop blaming other people , situations and things . At some point I had to be accountable for my own actions and my own life and my own journey , and that was a huge step toward freedom , when I was able to forgive , to let go of resentments . That's where true freedom was found . Number four discipline is crucial . So staying sober requires a lot of discipline and that's whether you are just trying to drink less or not at all it does require a certain level of commitment and discipline .

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Fifth live in the present . Subriety means being fully present in the moment . When I was numbing myself , checking out with alcohol or talking to myself really negatively , I wasn't being open to all the things around me that I was supposed to see , hear , feel or do . Alcohol kept me stuck and the negativity that I had just come to know and incorporate into my life , the drama it was also holding me back . So I had to learn to live in the present .

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Number six is to ask for help . I am terrible at asking for help because for so long I was just so bogged down by self-reliance . I can do it by myself . I have to do it by myself . It is within me to figure this out Now , definitely there . You know we have been equipped by God to do things that you know he's asked us to do . He empowers us with our spiritual graces and our gifts and our natural talents and all of those things , so it's not like we're just helpless infants that can't do anything . However , I know that I can't do anything without God , so I need to ask for help , first and foremost from him , but I also need to be willing to ask her for help from other people , like I don't have to do everything by myself . Other people have gifts and charisms that can help me because I don't have the same things that they do In turn . When I ask for help , I allow them to bless me and that blesses them .

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Number seven is to set healthy boundaries . Learning to say no without guilt can be really hard , but when you set higher standards and stand up for yourself , it is so good for your discovery process as you discern what the level of sobriety is right for you . Remember , if someone is pushing a drink on you , they're not the ones that are going to have to deal with the hangover the next morning or the shame or the guilt or regret that is you . So when you say no , you are advocating for yourself and setting a boundary . Number eight embrace emotions . You know a lot of us drink because we don't want to feel things , we don't want to feel strong emotions , but it's okay , and the thing that we can think about is that feelings are just feelings . They're neither good nor bad . They're just feelings and it's how we react or act upon those feelings that can sometimes get us into trouble , or if we can use that for good , or we can use it in a way that helps us or others . We can get curious about our emotions , like where is that coming from ? Maybe what is the thought that caused that emotion ? Then it can help us reframe our thoughts so that we can then take an action that is going to give us a better result than maybe just reacting on the first feeling that comes to mind .

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Number nine practice humility . So Brydie teaches humility like I have never been so humbled as I was walking in to my first AA meeting alone . Humility teaches us the importance of standing our ground and of being outside of ourself and letting go of pride . Number 10 stay the course and if you fall , get back up . Staying sober for a long period of time requires determination and continuous support , and if you fall or you have a slip , it doesn't mean that you can't do it . It just means that you need to maybe plan or have a protocol in place that will help you next time that temptation or trigger arises , we use it as a learning experience and we can only move forward from there when we do that .

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Number 11 keep exploring . So , brydie , is a journey of self-discovery . It involves learning new things about yourself and God and the world , so you can use those insights to grow and heal . Number 12 , patience is key . Recovery does not happen overnight . It requires patience and understanding and the progress is often slow and incremental . Now , making the decision to stop drinking yeah , that could happen overnight , but you still have to plan and go through the days and learn how to adjust your life and your habits and your mindset so that you don't fall back into the trappings of overuse or misuse .

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Number 13 , self-care is essential . Prioritizing self-care and learning how to make healthier choices can make a significant difference while you are trying to find other healthier coping mechanisms to deal with the troubles of life , the irritants that come up in our lives , which they will . But alcohol is not self-care . That is just counterproductive . It hurts our bodies and it hurts our mental health and it really doesn't make anything better when we are using it to cope with problems or with anxiety .

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Number 14 , honesty is vital . Being honest with yourself and others about your struggles and feelings and challenges is crucial , and it will benefit you in the future if you can just let go and just be honest . Number 15 , forgiveness heals . Now , forgiving doesn't mean forgetting , but learning to give not only yourself and others can be transformative . It can help you let go of the past hurts and instead focus on the future , so that you don't have to continually be ripping a scab off of an old wound . You can just let it be and let it heal . Number 16 . Life is so much more fulfilling when we are not tied to vice . It's possible to experience joy , excitement and fulfillment . When you stop trying to numb or avoid by using or misusing things , you will find that life is just so much more fulfilling and you feel a sense of freedom that you probably hadn't before . Number 17 .

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Relapses don't mean failure . A relapse is not a failure . It is an opportunity to learn and to adjust your plan so that you continue moving forward . You will always learn something with every stint of sobriety and then , if you have a slip or a relapse , you're going to learn something from that as well . That is going to help you plan and prepare for the future .

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Connection is crucial . Building healthy relationships and finding a supportive community can definitely aid in the recovery process or in the process of trying to find out what the level of sobriety is right for you , what it's not , what type of chaos it is causing , and then to eliminate it or reduce it to a point where you can decide to take it or leave it from a place of peace . So a lot of us drink because we're seeking connection with people . We go out to social events , to different things , and we want to be part of a crowd , we want to be part of the vibe and whatever's going on . So we drink , but we don't have to have that to have connection . So finding other people with the same goals can help you , even when you are in situations with people who don't share those goals , if that makes sense .

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Briety is a personal journey . This is number 19 . So there is no one path that is linear and leads from alcohol misuse to peace . Everyone's path is different because all of our lives are different . We have had different childhood experiences , different relationships with alcohol , and it's just important to find what works for you and stick with that . So what worked for me might not work for you , but the more that we share our stories and talk to each other and again have that connection and community , the more information is going to be out there and then people are going to find their own path to sobriety .

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Number 20 , your mental health matters . So I didn't get this for a long time because I just kind of tried to avoid . If I was feeling like anxiety , if I was feeling sad , I just didn't want to think about it , I didn't want to talk about it , I just wanted to ignore it basically . But sometimes there are other underlying mental health issues which you need to talk to your doctor about . But I promise you that reducing or eliminating your alcohol consumption is only going to make things better . The more I learn about how alcohol affects our neurotransmitters , the more this makes sense to me . So again , if you are concerned about your mental health , you are concerned about your mental health . Definitely seek to find out what the level of sobriety is that is right for you .

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Number 21 , change is possible . I don't know how many times I said I will never get this . I told myself a snake is a snake , it can't change all of these things . So I was just thinking this is who I am and I'm never going to be changed . But even when things seem hopeless , change is always possible , and when we turn our face to God and we ask for his help , it just multiplies our efforts , because not only are we taking the steps necessary and giving our yes to it , but we're allowing him to pour in his graces to strengthen us so that we can make that change . Number 22 , strength comes from vulnerability , so one of the best things that I ever did for myself when I got sober was to open up about my struggles . I told pretty much anyone who would listen what was going on with me , what I was doing , that I was recovering alcoholic . I went to meetings alcoholics anonymous meetings and there , of course , as you know , we share our experience , strength and hope . And I just found so much peace in doing that because when I was able to open up about my struggles and fears , it really gave me a sense of strength and I feel like I built up a resilience and a steadfastness to be able to stand against this addiction that had threatened to consume me .

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23, . Your past doesn't define you . This took a long time for me , too . I don't know how many times I went to confession . I journaled , I did all these things and I just kept letting that voice in that said , oh , but remember when you did this . Oh , but remember when you did that . God can't use you because you are too broken . Whatever those lies are , just throw them off a cliff , they do not matter . You are a beloved daughter of God , you are equipped , you are empowered . God loves you , he is for you , he is beside you and your past is your past , but it does not define you .

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24 , serenity can be found . Yes , you can have peace around your decisions to take it or leave it . It's possible to find peace by accepting what cannot be changed . The serenity prayer is a great prayer to say if you're having difficulty with that . So we accept the things we cannot change and change the things we can , and we have the wisdom to know the difference . That's what we're asking for in that prayer .

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24 , growth is continuous . So just because I quit drinking did not mean that magically , all of a sudden , things got better . I had a long learning , healing and growing process that is probably going to last the rest of my life that I embarked on on that day . So stopping drinking is the first big , huge , important step . But be patient with yourself , because growth is continuous and it will be a lifelong

Balancing Life With Faith and Community

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process .

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Number 26 , balance is so beneficial . If you can balance your physical health , mental health , work relationships and leisure time , that can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling life . And I find , in these 27 years , the thing that helps me balance is to put God first . So when I put God first , it just kind of makes everything else come into perspective and fall into place . And lastly , most importantly , number 27 , you are not alone . Not only have many others walked this path before you and many will walk with you in the future , you are not alone because God is with you and he's always been with you . So even and especially in those times , those really , really tough times , even when you felt alone and like no one understood or you had no other choices , god was with you , loving you , waiting for you , begging you to turn your face to Him . So always remember you are not alone .

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Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .