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Welcome to the Catholic sobriety podcast mini-soad . These shorter episodes provide quick tips and information that you can refer back to when you need it most so you can achieve and maintain your desired level of sobriety . I am your sobriety coach and host of this podcast , kristy Walker . Let's get started . Why isn't your commitment to drink less or not at all sticking for you ? Well , I don't know why it is happening for you personally , but I have five reasons that typically come up with my clients or other women that I speak with , and I have a feeling that at least one of these , probably more , are going to resonate with you , and I'm going to give you some solutions on how to fix it in today's mini-soad . So let's dive in . So the first reason why your efforts to reduce or eliminate your alcohol consumption aren't sticking is something that I discussed in episode 44 . It's a mini-soad called Willpower is useless . Instead , unlock the power of divine determination . So you may be relying on willpower , and when you look up what willpower is , it has a definition of to control or restrain impulses , self-command , self-control , self mastery , and I don't know about you , but just reading that and thinking about that makes my whole body tense up . How about you ? So let's take a deep breath and talk about what determination is . Determination is firmness of purpose . It's a process of establishing something by calculation and research . So that's part of the reason why I have created my sacred sobriety lab to be a lab , a place of experimenting and trying things out . Not judgment , but just trying to research and see what works and see what doesn't , and that just feels so much more peaceful to me as I'm saying that and reading it and thinking about it . So if that feels more peaceful to your brain too , then I want you to really tap into determination and even beyond determination , let's bring the Holy Spirit into the process , asking him to convict our hearts and to strengthen our gifts , our spiritual gifts that we are given by virtue of our baptism as daughters of the most high , and let's have divine determination because , quite honestly , willpower is useless .

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Another reason why it might not be sticking or you might be having trouble is that you are doing exactly the same things how you have always done them , in the way you have always done them , except you do not have alcohol as part of the equation . So I would just offer that , if you are trying to drink glass or not at all and it's a very habitual thing for you . You need to completely change around your habit and change around your schedule . So first , make sure that you have a set sleep and wake time . Do that at the same time every day and every , or every night and every morning , and maybe change up what you are doing in the evenings . If you tend to get the kids to bed , plop yourself in front of the couch after you've grabbed a glass of wine and watch you know , I don't know Food Network or whatever show you watch . Maybe instead of doing that , you can make yourself a cup of tea , go up to your bed , your bedroom and maybe journal or read , listen to , like , maybe , bible in a year . That's a great thing to do . Really change up your routine and that will help you change your habit and it'll be so much easier .

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The third reason that you may be having a difficult time trying to find the level of sobriety that's right for you and stick to it is that you don't have the support you need . Maybe you are just keeping this all to yourself and you haven't really told anyone about your goals and your efforts . Maybe you have told people , but they're not that supportive . So I would encourage you to have that support system , have someone who is going to hold you accountable , who you can talk to about your journey , who you can talk to about your struggles . If you start to feel like you do want to drink but you don't and you just kind of want to talk it through with someone , this is where having a sobriety coach can be very helpful , because a coach can hold you accountable and support you . But even then , I always say that having somebody that you can just talk to , especially face-to-face , go have coffee with or do something with , and talk about your efforts , what's going well , what you're having difficulty with , is very , very beneficial . Now I also , with my Sacred Subriety Lab , have a VIP Facebook group so the women in there can talk and support each other , they can discuss what's working , what's not working , and it is a great place for support and accountability as well . So there's always that option . If you don't have someone in your life , the worst thing you can do is isolate and just keep it to yourself , because we are not super good at holding ourselves accountable . So being accountable to another person is just going to accelerate your efforts further .

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The fourth reason that your sobriety might not be sticking has to do with dopamine deficiency . So dopamine , as many of you know , is a neurotransmitter . It's a type of chemical messenger that sends signals to the brain and other areas . It's one that plays a huge role in pleasure and reward . So when something good happens unexpectedly , then dopamine is released and that makes us feel great and that leads to a positive outcome which reinforces that action and keeps us going back for more , which is what alcohol does . So alcohol , like many other drugs , has a direct effect on the dopamine system . Now it artificially stimulates the release of large amounts of dopamine and that creates a high or intense sense of pleasure . Now , over time , the brain adjusts to these high levels of dopamine and produces less of the neurotransmitter or reduces the number of receptors that can receive the signals .

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So , as a result , when we drink excessively , we often end up with a dopamine deficiency and then we find that we can't feel pleasure from other things , even things that we used to really , really enjoy , and that the only thing that seems to trigger those feelings for us is the satisfaction of alcohol . Even just that sensation of opening a bottle of wine or popping open , you know , a bottle of beer can trigger that dopamine . So breaking the cycle obviously is challenging , but it's totally possible , and one of the ways to do that is to find new and healthy sources of pleasure and reward , and this can be anything from exercise to petting your dog , hugging your kids , finding activities that you love , hobbies that you love and even just spending time with loved ones . And the final reason that it may be difficult to keep your commitments to yourself about drinking less or not at all could be the real or perceived thoughts of others , of what others might think about your decision to drink less or not at all . And this is something that I discuss in episode 54 , which is called when friends and family don't understand your decision to reduce or eliminate your alcohol intake . I suggest you go , or I invite you to go , and listen to that episode , because I think it could be really , really helpful .

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But , in a nutshell , the social pressure to drink it just can be a very significant obstacle for you , for most of us , but learning to set boundaries and really standing firm with that divine determination in your decision not to drink is crucial . It's also important to remember that most people are more concerned with their drinking than with what you're doing , so if you are worried about what people are thinking about you or wondering about you because you've decided to have a mocktail or just enjoy some sparkling water instead of a glass of wine . Don't worry about it . It doesn't really matter what they're thinking , and in most cases they're not thinking anything about it at all . So I just want to set your mind at ease where that is concerned .

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So I hope that you have found this mini soad helpful , as always . If you ever have a topic that you would like me to tackle , please feel free to reach out to me . My contact information is in the show notes , and don't forget that I do have a five day free sacred sobriety kickstart , which is just like a really mini introduction to the sacred sobriety lab . But even if you just do that , you are going to gain some great tools to help you change your mindset around your decisions to drink less or not at all . Well , that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic sobriety mini soad . Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing . And remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .