Powerful Strengths for Personal Growth

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a Joyfield Catholic , and I am the Catholic Subriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . So today we are going to talk about strengths Now .

Speaker 1 0:33

I've talked a little bit about charisms before not a lot and I plan to do an episode on spiritual gifts and charisms , but today we are talking about our strengths and how they empower us and help us do not just the work that you know we have to do in our jobs or as students or as wives and mothers , but also just how they enrich our lives . Just knowing them helps us know ourselves better . So today my guest is Francine Rowling . She is a strengths-based mindset and gut health coach for women . She uses research-based tools to help you discover how to grow in your spiritual gifts . Francine's faith and roles as wife and mom , and now Gigi , are things for which she is most grateful . Welcome to the podcast , francine . I'm so excited to have you here , thank you .

Speaker 2 1:31

Christy , I'm excited to be here too , talking about something that just really fires me up , because I think it's a gift to people and not something that we often talk about . Right , for some reason in our society , we think of strengths and we think if we're , you know , trying to be modest , we shouldn't talk about those things too much . But I don't , I don't think that serves us well at all times .

Speaker 1 1:57

Yeah , I completely agree with you , because it really just helps us know ourselves a little bit better . And when we know ourselves a little bit better , we know what we can say yes to and what we can say no to . It kind of opens us up to knowing you know what God is calling us to and me moving in the direction that he wants us to , instead of being stuck doing something that really doesn't fit our strengths or our charisms . Yeah , exactly , exactly . So , francine , why don't you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself and just the work that you do as a coach ?

Speaker 2 2:32

Sure , so this has been a path that you know . When I was 18 years old and in high school , you know and they're wanting you to decide what you're going to be when you grow up I had no idea this is where I'd end up , but I entered college majoring in journalism and then took a class in criminal justice and psychology , which just hooked . So I went in that direction . For a number of years I investigated child abuse and neglect and worked with at-risk families , started teaching at the college level about at-risk factors and things that we could do to help people who were dealing with a variety of things such as , you know , drug abuse , alcohol abuse , domestic violence all those things . I became a school social worker and I had I did that for 19 years loved everything about that because .

Speaker 2 3:30

I got to work with people before they were in full-out crisis mode and I remarried , and when my husband and I moved across the state , I knew that it was time to do something else , and so that is when I obtained I have a master's degree in school psychology , but then I obtained a certification in life coaching , as well as gut health , which sometimes people ask .

Speaker 2 3:58

What does one thing have to do with the other ? But that could be a whole other podcast . But we have something in our bodies called the gut brain axis , and so when we have issues in our gut , it affects our brain and vice versa . So that's why , when you're nervous and you feel like you have butterflies in your belly , you really do feel that because your digestion and your brain are so in tune for each other . It's really cool how God made us that way . So so that's where I found myself and I realized , through my background in psychology and then working with clients , oftentimes it's really easy to talk about what's wrong with us , what we want to achieve , and that always comes from a place of negativity and and you know where we're lacking .

Speaker 2 4:45

And through that time then I discovered you mentioned the , the strengths finder and Don Clifton is actually the the person who helped put the strengths finder together , and that is a tool , one of the tools I use with my clients , and what I like about him is he said if we could ask what's wrong with people , why can't we ask what's right with people ? And so that's always the place where I start when I work with clients , because there's a lot of good stuff in people . You know , even if you have a struggle , that doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you . That's just something else to unlock . And so those are some of the things that I do , and we utilize tools to help people unlock those strengths that make them unique .

Speaker 1 5:32

I love that so much . I really think that quote that you said if we can ask what's wrong with people , why can't we ask what's right with people ? I really firmly believe that that is at the heart of coaching and what differentiates it from like counseling or something else , and that's what has really at least it's what appealed to me about coaching instead of pursuing counseling , which I had thought about doing many years ago . But I love that we say , okay , where are you now and how can we move forward ? I just love that and I really think that okay .

Speaker 1 6:14

So I just took a strengths test and I really didn't put a lot of I don't know . I just kind of thought of it as like , oh , it's just another personality test , it's just another thing that's gonna say you're this . And then sometimes with some of those personality tests , I feel like people use them to make excuses , like , oh well , I'm this , so I'm not gonna do that or this , and that did not really appeal to me at all . But one of my friends , she asked me if I would take the strengths finder test and so she could coach me on it , cause she's getting certified on it . I was just blown away . I was blown away .

Speaker 1 6:56

When I got those results and then I'm gonna have you talk about it I couldn't believe how , when they give you your results , it's not like one in 20 or one in 50 . You're like one in like millions . That has this particular set of gifts and based on all your other strengths I said gifts , but based on all your other strengths . It means something different about these strengths . So can you explain what these strengths are and why they are so significant for our personal growth ? Cause I think a lot of times also , people think , oh , this is for work . Cause a lot of businesses , a lot of like Fortune 500 businesses , use these , use the strengths finder . But it can totally be applied to our lives , even just as wives and mothers .

Speaker 2 7:47

Absolutely friends , right ? People who are in the grocery store together at the same time . I mean we have conflict or opportunities to enter into a relationship with each other through numerous ways . It doesn't only have to be in a professional way . So with the Clifton strengths finder , there are a multitude of different characteristics , I guess , or character traits that can be attributed to somebody based on how you answer these questions . It's a fairly quick test to take . Like with the very first time I took it , I was skeptical because it's just a series of this or that questions kind of that pops up and then you choose if A describes you , you're all in with A , or if you're more middle of the road , or if you're more B , and sometimes they're really random things . It seems to be , they're not , but it'll be like . This is not one of them , but it could be something like I prefer the color blue or asparagus is my favorite vegetable . I mean it's just right , right , yeah , but somehow but I mean it's research-based people far smarter than I am put this together and it is able to give you a really accurate interpretation of the character traits that you possess . So there are a number of specific character traits , but they're grouped into four domains , and the domains are executing , influencing , relationship building and strategic thinking . So , when we pull those apart , executing is how you go about getting things done . So you may be somebody who is a list maker , or maybe you're someone who doesn't like to work in a group . You prefer just to do those things yourself . Maybe you're a procrastinator . Maybe you never get anything done . I mean , there's a whole range of ways that you could go about that on the continuum . What's really cool is one isn't right and one isn't wrong . It's just the way it is With relationship building how you interact with other people .

Speaker 2 9:55

People who score really high and have a lot of characteristics in this category are the people whose homes you like to go to , right . They're the people who maybe you work with , who seem to have been able to take a work environment and build a community with it . They're very successful at those types of skills drawing people in and letting others know that they are valued and respected by them . Influencing is a little bit different . Somebody can be very influential and not really high in the relationship building category . Adolf Hitler was very influential , but probably not somebody whose home you wanna go to for Christmas , right . So there are different facets about that , and then strategic thinking , how you think about things .

Speaker 2 10:47

Some people my daughter , one of my daughters is one of these people . She can walk into a situation and just with the least little bit of information , she already understands what needs to get done , what steps need to be taken and what the outcome is going to look like . Where I am low in that category . So I need to have things written out for me and drawn . I'm a very visual person , so we go about that differently . It's really interesting you mentioned Christi . This isn't only for work . It's really interesting to know where people in your family lie in these four different domains , because it really can impact your relationships with them , how you come together when there's a disagreement , how you show up for each other , what grace you can give people because you know they may be higher in one area or have fewer skills in another . It really can mend a lot of tough relationships by having this information about someone else .

Speaker 1 12:59

Yeah , that's interesting that you say that , because my husband actually just took a different kind of strengths assessment at work , which was different , completely different , but very similar as well , and so he brought home his paperwork from it and I looked over it and I was like , oh , I can see , and , having taken a strengths , just taken a strengths assessment myself and been coached on it , I could see how , you know , we're very different people but we also are alike in a lot of ways and I could . It was fun to kind of see like , oh , this is why we work so well together doing this and this is , oh , we both have this type of vision or we both have this type of , you know , relationship building , and that's why we like to do these types of activities at our parish . So I think that that is so great and it is very enlightening when

Strengths and Life Seasons Relationship

Speaker 1 13:55

both spouses or I'm guessing even just kind of knowing where your kids are .

Speaker 1 14:01

And I think that you is there a certain age that you would say that I mean there it is kind of intense and there are a lot of questions on it . Is there a specific age when you think it would be very beneficial ?

Speaker 2 14:14

I think definitely from age 16 on up is beneficial . If you have a child who is more mature and it's not that they need to know themselves , but you know , just has the has the fortitude to spend a little bit of time in front of a computer , you know to do it . I think it's something that's really interesting to people of all ages . The very first time I took this test to , it was taught at our church and there were people of different ages in the room and the teenagers enjoyed it just as much as the adults did . It was interesting .

Speaker 1 14:53

Yeah , so I did . Last Lent I did a Holy Spirit workshop at my parish which included it talked about , we talked about seven gifts of the spirit and fruits and all of that , but the last part of it we talked about charisms . And I had a spiritual gifts assessment for everyone to take and most everybody was , you know , my age or older , but I had my 16 year old twins come . I'm like you guys are coming to this , I want you to do it , and they were like , but they seem to really enjoy it and they did like seem to enjoy taking that test and just kind of or the assessment it's not a test , but that assessment and I told them I'm like this doesn't mean that these are exactly your , your gifts . It just means that this will give you an idea of like where to put your energy and to kind of like test it out and maybe help in the future , and I think that the strengths would be very beneficial in that way as well .

Speaker 2 15:51

It is interesting to the older you are to take it and then reflect on things that you've gone through in your life . So you know I was . I was a social worker for most of my professional life and my highest category is something called individualization , which means that I put a lot of merits on people as individuals . Like I see people as individuals , it really gets under my skin when people talk about groups of people you know instead of each of the individuals in the group . And it's no wonder , right ? I was a social worker because I was able to work with people one on one and understand , you know , what their unique situations and circumstances were . So it would have been probably really difficult for me to be in like another career path where maybe it was more science based or you know , or there was a right or wrong answer . You know mathematics , things like that . That would have been more difficult for me because I do like to get to the nitty gritty and that is that's one of my strengths . So , yeah , very interesting .

Speaker 1 17:01

So that brings up a question in my mind , as you are talking . So , like with charisms , I know that certain charisms will be stronger at certain in certain seasons of our lives , like the charisms that presented forward for me when I was a mom with young kids is a little bit different than what my strengths are now as a , you know , as a speaker , as a coach , as you know , running my own business , and so I'm just wondering does that your strengths change with different seasons ? Or and it's not I don't think that it's necessarily that they change , but do they present differently or stronger during different seasons of your life ?

Speaker 2 17:46

Yes , yes . So research tells us that you don't necessarily develop new strengths . You know there's things there . It's kind of like putting a soup together you know you might have potatoes and carrots and tomato sauce in there , but as you stir the pot , you know , different things rise to the surface . And so as we go through life and we have different needs , different things rise to the surface and , and as we have more experiences , to those strengths that we have do grow . And especially , I always recommend that somebody get some outside help , you know , identifying what their strengths are , and also an objective opinion a respectable or respected objective opinion from somebody who's done this type of work before about how to nurture them and grow those strengths .

Speaker 2 18:39

The strengths that we have are not necessarily things that you would want to put on your resume all the time . They may be things that you as a child maybe you know we're disciplined for . I have a client who she remembers having a difficult time in school because she was always in trouble for talking . But one of her strengths is she's an amazing communicator , and she does . She's a teacher now and she also she does speaking , where she teaches other people how to develop relationships with families so that they can serve the students better , and that was always a strength of hers . But in that situation , where she was a student in a school , it wasn't given the same importance as it does now that she's an adult and she can use it in a different way .

Speaker 1 19:35

Yes , I , that is so true and I can see where how that would all work together . And I I'm wondering . So , like with charisms , I , or when I give a talk on charisms , a lot of times I tell people that charisms are completely different than natural talents . But you can use your charisms . You definitely use your charisms with your natural talent . And charisms are given to us . They're a little bit different than our seven gifts of the spirit .

Speaker 1 20:02

For anybody who's not familiar , they're different from the seven gifts that were given at the time of our baptism . Those are for us , to strengthen us , to fortify us . The charisms are to be used outwardly , to build up the kingdom , to work with other Christians , to encourage and , just , you know , spread the word of God and evangelize and help others , like you did so much with your charisms , with the social work and everything that you did . So I feel like when I tell people is that it's kind of a combination of all right , it's our experiences , it's our natural talents , it's our God given gifts and charisms and those all work together to help us . You know , find out what God's will is for us and do the work that he has for us is . Would you say that , that that you find that is true with strengths and our strengths used just outwardly , outwardly , or are they both ?

Speaker 2 21:04

Right ? Well , short answer is I believe that they are both based on the research and what I've observed myself . And you know it's interesting because I think , as humans , we spend so much of our time quote unquote finding ourselves right , trying to be in step with what God has called us to do and trying to discover what he's created in us , and I think that does deserve some attention . But I think we also need to remember that we were created for good works beforehand , like God already put His mark on us . You know , before we were born , that this is , this is what I'm calling you to do . So it's not necessarily that we're discovering that . Hey , look at me , you know , I , I have this , this calling . It's the calling from God , right , and we're just uncovering it . So so , with that being said , I mean it is an internal thing . You know that we have to find , unfortunately for us , because we , as humans , like to be comfortable . We like it when things go our way . We will do a whole lot of things to stay comfortable , even when we know it's not in our best interest . But oftentimes it's those really difficult moments where we find how God has blessed us the most right and and we find that he has given us gifts , talent , strengths , all kinds of tools to use to to handle that situation and , at the end of the day , to give Him glory and honor for what he has done for us Oftentimes when we're going through something difficult I speak to this from experience , because I am a person who was divorced as a single mom for a number of years , and I remember praying for God to get me out of that situation .

Speaker 2 23:06

You know , for that to end , and I see that happen .

Speaker 2 23:09

You know , when people are sick , you know I mean , it's just natural right you ask for prayers to get through the illness , for the illness to go away , and I think that it's times like that , though , where we have the most opportunity to discover what God has put inside of us . So it does take some uncovering , you know , to find what those gifts and those skills and those talents are . When I was a single mom , it was very uncomfortable , but I learned a whole lot about compassion and grace . I learned how to do things about handling money differently , you know , and being taken care of God's provisions for our life and and as a result , you know , my children now , who are adults , have a lot of talents and skills that I did not have when I was their age . So it so , through that time , the strengths that God gave me , they were able to be refined , and so I do have them now , differently I guess , and I could show up with them knowing that they are part of who I am . But it took that difficult season to uncover that .

Speaker 1 24:37

Yes , yeah , I completely see that and I agree . As a recovering alcoholic , sometimes I would like to just say I wish none of that ever happened and just kind of do away with it . But I know you know God takes everything , makes all things new and helps us , and it sounds like you know it . Equip your situations and you know what you went through the crosses you had to pick up and carry those equipped you and they've empowered you to be able to help others . You know God has used that for his good , so and for others , so that you can build up others , and I think that that's a beautiful testament and it gives hope , right For those anybody who is out there listening and you are suffering in a really hard marriage or you know addiction is something that is just maybe crippling for you right now .

Speaker 1 25:34

Maybe it's just your drinking or eating or scrolling or all those things , francy , and that you're talking about that . You know we like to stay comfortable , but , like I always say , like growth comes in the discomfort . So if we can just get really comfortable with being uncomfortable , then we'll see a lot of fruits from that Right and bringing it to the light .

Speaker 2 25:59

Right , because when you keep that inside , it's so easy for your brain , and this is how we're wired . This is , this is the comfort piece , though , too , but but it , it , it plays tricks on you and you think you're the only one and that there's something wrong with you , and you go to that negative mindset versus Christie . I can only imagine how many people you have helped because you've been willing to share your story , right , and and that wasn't your intention in getting sober , but yet you know it was something else that was God was able to use with your life . So that's awesome .

Speaker 1 26:37

Right , yeah , I think all of us can have had experiences that if we just share that and we can be bold in that , just knowing not just who we are but who's we are , and being able to be that light of Christ to others , we can , you know , send out those ripples . And you never know what just a kind word or just sharing even a bit of your story or your struggles and how you've overcome them can really impact a person , especially as God places other people in other situations in their life . You can just be like one piece of that person's puzzle that helps them grow and and you know , holiness , like we're all trying to do , here , right .

Speaker 2 27:23

Yes , I know the more I step through this life , I am beginning to think that the things that happened to me aren't necessarily for me as much as they are for other people . Yes , and so that does take a boldness and a willingness to share , because not everything is social media beautiful . Right , it's pretty messy and uncomfortable at times and , and everybody has that stuff . It may look different in our life , but we all have that stuff . So if , if , when we start comparing our lives to other people and start feeling bad , we just need to remember they've got stuff to . They may not be willing to share it , but it's there .

Speaker 1 28:03

Yes , oh , absolutely . I'm so glad that we talked about that , that that came up , because the Holy Spirit is so good , because I think that that's so important . It's funny because we met on social media . That's how we got connected , so there's so much goodness there . And then there's other stuff we have to kind of wade , wade through or ignore as much as possible .

Speaker 2 28:25

Absolutely .

Speaker 1 28:26

So a couple other questions that I have for you . So one of the misconceptions I had was that , oh , you take you know it's like in a magazine like you take this , this questionnaire to find out more about your personality , you read the results and you go on your merry way . But that is not what strengths finder is . So can you explain what maybe some of the common misconceptions are around strengths results and like what to do with them ?

Speaker 2 28:58

Well , the number one common misconception is that it gives you an out and that it's an excuse for who you are , how your behavior happens to be at this time , no matter how difficult something is , you have control over your behavior . You have control over your thoughts and you have control over your feelings . You do I know sometimes it seems like you don't , but you do and so learning these things doesn't give you an excuse to say , oh well , that's why I feel that way . She's just going to have to deal with it . This is who I am .

Speaker 2 29:33

If nothing else , I think it gives you a greater responsibility to accept that at this point in your life , these are the things you know about yourself and this is how you show up and this is how you think and feel and respond to things , no matter what well , any type of strengths assessment that I'm familiar with . It all has sort of like a continuum related to all of the results and depending on

Understanding Strengths and Relationships

Speaker 2 30:01

how healthy or unhealthy you are at a given point in time , and that can change , right . I mean , some days we wake up ready to take on the world and some days we're depressed and we're having a really hard time . So we need to be aware of that and know that it still requires work . What I love about the Strengths Finder , though , is it kind of gives you a map about where to put your time , and what research shows us is that putting your time into strengthening your strengths if that makes sense , making them even more healthy and stronger and able to work for you and work for those around you you get far more benefits from that than any amount of time you put into trying to improve the areas in which you lack . You might make a small dent in those areas in which you lack , but it's nowhere near the power and the results you're going to get from putting that same amount of time and attention into the areas in which you're stronger .

Speaker 2 31:13

So not an excuse , it's a responsibility . Also , if you do happen to know what somebody else's results are , that's great and that's a privilege . So remember that's a privilege . We don't have a right to go around psychoanalyzing people . I see this happen . Another tool that I use , and I know some people love this . Sometimes it gets a bad rap . I think it's a tool , but the Enneagram , if you're familiar with that but I hear people who have familiarity with the Enneagram saying that oh well , of course she's acting like that . She's a 19 . That's not an Enneagram number , but you get what I'm saying .

Speaker 2 31:57

I mean they use that to put somebody in a box and again , we don't have the right to do that . We don't have the right to psychoanalyze someone . But also it doesn't excuse how you relate to that person , even if you know something about them . That's just more information . Strengths aside . When you're in a relationship with someone and they have shared a piece of information with you that gives you more information about how to interact with them , maybe there may be things that you feel more comfortable sharing with them . It may draw you closer to them . It may repel you a little bit if things don't align with what's going on in your life . So just remember that too , and it's just an opportunity and it's something to be respected . But we don't get to judge other people because we have that information about them .

Speaker 1 32:50

Yeah , that's a really important point . Actually , both of those are really important points . It's funny because I always tell people when I help them with their charisms , like , do a charism assessment . I'm like , okay , chair stacking is not a charism , you still have to do chair stacking , we all have to do chair stacking and so we all , we still have a responsibility to help and step in . We can't just say , just because this is not my charism , I'm not going to do this . Hospitality is not my charism , so I'm not bringing a salad .

Speaker 1 33:24

We still have those things that we have to do to be helpful , but we don't have to tie up a lot of our time in that . And I think knowing our charisms or our strengths helps us discern where we spend most of our time and our energy . So I know like with charisms , like one of the ways that you know if you're using like a God given gift , like that , you feel very energized . So instead of like , somebody may look at that and be like , oh my gosh , I would be so depleted if I spent that much time teaching or instructing or encouraging or whatever . But then for somebody else , I look at somebody with a gift of administration and I'm like , oh my gosh , how did I do that ? That sounds horrible to me . My brain is like shutting down and my eyes are glazing over . Yes , but I still have to do administrative things .

Speaker 1 34:24

It's just not what feeds me and it's not what God uses to help build up his church . It's just like a task I have to do .

Speaker 2 34:35

Well , and I'm glad you use the chair stacking illustration because it doesn't excuse you from things . I mean , yes , you may have , like you said , a natural propensity or a passion or excitement to do certain things because of how you were created , but at the end of the day , right , we are called to love God and love one another , and God doesn't need any of us , right ? So the fact that we do get to uncover these other pieces of us and that we do get to be in interaction with other people and to utilize these gifts he's given us and that is a blessing , but whether we do that or not , god is still God and he's got it all figured out , so we're not helping him at all . So this is our time to love others , too , and to show him how grateful we are by getting to do that .

Speaker 1 35:34

Yes , absolutely . So my last question is as a coach . Actually , I might have two questions , but one of my last questions is as

Integrating Strengths in Coaching Practice

Speaker 1 35:43

a coach , how do you integrate strengths into your practice , like , how do you use that with your clients to help them ?

Speaker 2 35:51

Yeah , so when I meet with the client , the very first thing we do is there's a questionnaire that they complete and it's kind of a snapshot of their life . So it's them giving me a little more information times that they struggled , times that they've really felt successful . And that's , by the way , one thing we talk about , too , is the definition of success , because there is a spiritual definition of success and there is a worldly definition of success , right , and we get caught up in the worldly stuff about you know how much money we make , or what our title is , or what schools our kids go to , or if we're going on vacation this year . That stuff is not eternal , right . So the spiritual definition of success is how well we're loving God and loving other people . So they'll complete this questionnaire and then they do take the Clifton Strengths Assessment , the Strengths Finder . So we have that information and then we analyze it and based on what their goals are because people will come to me , for they may have a health goal , they may have an occupational goal , they may have a relationship goal , those are usually the most common so we look at the areas where their strengths lie and to see how they can utilize those as we and they'll put together a personalized plan of things that they can do to see some action towards those goals that they want to obtain .

Speaker 2 37:34

The one thing I like about the assessment that they complete the questionnaire is we talk about some of the difficult times in their life too , because , again , like you talked about when you were drinking , christie , and I talked about being a single mom and going through a divorce , and those aren't things that would necessarily show up in the highlight reels of our lives , but it sounds like we both learned a lot of things from them and we were able to pull gifts out from those seasons .

Speaker 2 38:03

So I really like people to be able to look at that too and reflect on those seasons of their lives too , and , if they haven't yet been able to pull things from that , we do a deeper dive into that so they can see that it was not for not , and actually and this doesn't have anything to do with strengths , but I think this is how God works Like if you find yourself replaying the same situation like why does this keep happening to me ? I think sometimes God lets those things happen because we haven't learned the lesson yet , right ? So when we can pull that out and utilize it . You know that's when we're ready , then for chapter two . So those are some of the things that we do then to get them on their path .

Speaker 1 38:49

Yeah , that's so great , it's a wonderful tool and I'm sure that it really does help your clients . And I think that sometimes , especially in the recovery world and I'm sure you've heard it a lot , working with addicts and stuff you know we're powerless and at some point we feel like we are powerless over a substance or a situation or something . But what I love about the strengths assessment and charisms is that it's like , okay , maybe at this point you feel really powerless , but what we want to teach you is that you actually do have this God given power and that even just the power of carrying your cross is empowering you . You are stronger than you think Like there's that quote that people put on social media all the time like you're braver than you believe and you're stronger than you think , and there's definitely so much truth to that because we are equipped . We are equipped by virtue of our baptism and given us , given these gifts that we just need to unwrap and use .

Speaker 1 39:52

And then we have these beautiful strengths that help empower us .

Speaker 2 39:57

Yes , and we can work together in community and support , and yeah , it's once you know that , yeah Well , and I love the strengths to and once in a while , people will call me a Pollyanna or you know .

Speaker 1 40:12

There's a second thing too about like what is what ?

Speaker 2 40:15

I've kind of put it out of my mind because I'm like what a toxic positivity . You know , you probably have heard of that too , and that's not what I'm talking about here . I'm not talking about being positive in the face of and bad things happen to people . Right , Terrible things happen in this world . That is a fact .

Speaker 2 40:30

But some of my favorite stories when we do watch the news or when you hear from these people in these war-torn countries or you know where some explosion has happened or something , and they're like you know , but God did this or this happened , or now I am off to , you know , return the favorite so-and-so because this happened to me , like I mean , those are pieces of God , you know , even in that evil stuff . So but I also think we do ourselves a disservice when we just focus on the negative , like I do think that's why a lot of people start using drugs and alcohol or social media or shopping or whatever you know their crutches , because they think that there's something wrong with them , because we're just focusing on the negative things and they don't know how to overcome that . They're embarrassed or you know slew of emotions , so even a person who is an addict in the throes of their addiction . There are still strengths about that person , you know .

Speaker 2 41:42

They just may not have heard them recently , so it's very valuable to help them get on with life .

Speaker 1 41:51

Yeah , I agree , and I have been called a Pollyanna and all of that . Sometimes my husband's like can I just be mad about this ? My husband says the same thing . I'm like , but at least so I've learned to kind of battle it sometimes .

Speaker 2 42:10

Yeah , I hear you .

Speaker 1 42:12

But the verse that came to me is like we're sin abounds , grace abounds all the more . And so it's not like

Grace, Joy, Self-Reflection, Faith

Speaker 1 42:18

you and I are like let's just push it all down and not look at it . We are like , let's take it out , let's look at it All the mess , all the dark , all the whatever . Just let's look at it and let's say do we need this ? No , let's toss it , do we need this ? Well , you know it's serving us in this way . You know it's all of . It's not about like , I feel like toxic positivity or whatever People like to put toxic in front of lots of things just to make it seem terrible . But honestly , I think that what that would be would be like pushing it down and pretending like it's not happening . Right , you know , just like if somebody , if somebody comes into a coaching session and they're just like I'm fine , everything's fine , everything's perfect , and we're like but you're here for a reason .

Speaker 1 43:10

So , let's like talk about some things and I think that you know , being able to pull those out and look at them is just showing like everything is fixable , everything is figureoutable , like we can . We can do this , especially with God's help , our gifts , our strengths , and maybe everything's not . I mean , everything is not always going to be perfect . There's going to be sickness , there's going to be death , there's going to be hardships , there's going to be wars , but as Christians we okay Father Mike has this talk and it's called , or I think it's a from a CS Lewis quote or something is like joy is the secret gift of the Christians . I totally butchered that , but it's so true . It's like joy . If we have joy that surpasses all understanding , if people can see us have joy in like really difficult circumstances , then that just glorifies God even more . When we have joy , when we have peace , and those are fruits that come from using our gifts .

Speaker 2 44:16

Yes , yes , I think , I think that does . Yeah , that does . That is . That is the result when we use our gifts , when we stay in our lane , when we put God at the forefront . That's where the peace and the joy , all that comes from .

Speaker 1 44:33

Yeah , yes , yeah , amen to that . Oh , my goodness , francine , it's been so good having you here , and I definitely want to have you back on to talk about gut health , because a lot of women are dealing with a lot of gut issues and then they don't realize that it has a lot to do with that nightly glass of wine or how they're eating . But I love what you said . Just , it's not just about like feeling better , like in our stomach or or whatever it's it like affects our entire being . So I definitely want to have you back on to talk about that , but I'm going to give you the floor . You just tell everyone where they can find you , if you have any things for them or anything . Just you have the floor .

Speaker 2 45:20

Yes , oh , thank you so much . That's so funny . I just changed my Instagram handle so I'm popping on here , okay , so so I am Francine Rowling . If you are on Facebook and this my kids are be like this tells people how old you are , because I love Facebook , but that is my . That is my primary , premier social media platform . So I'm on Facebook as Francine Samuel Rowling . Rowling has one L , r , o , l , a and G .

Speaker 2 45:53

Or if you are on Instagram , you can find me at Francine , your mindset coach , either one of those places . Guys , if you want to hop on there , go into the bio because I have a link where I have some free resources for you . So there's many assessment in there and some other things a gratitude journal and just some other free tools that you can download . You can get connected to some of the groups . I have some upcoming courses about mindset and and such . You could get on that wait list , and I also have , if you're interested in gut health . I have a gut health group that I facilitate , which is free to join to . So all the information about accessing that is is in my bio on those two social media platforms .

Speaker 1 46:42

Oh , fantastic . Thank you for pointing us to all those great resources . I know that they'll be very beneficial

Thankful for Resources

Speaker 1 46:48

and I invite all of my listeners to check that out . So once again , Francine , thank you so much for being here .

Speaker 2 46:56

Thank you , chrissy . It's my pleasure and honor .

Speaker 1 46:58

I appreciate you asking Well that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , the catholic sobriety coach dot com . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you , I am praying for you , you are not alone .