Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a Joyfield Catholic , and I am the Catholic Subriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here , hello everyone . So this is a bonus episode that I decided to do . I have my husband's Christmas party coming up this evening as you are listening to this , and so I started to think that maybe a lot of you have Christmas parties that are coming up for you and maybe , just maybe , it might be helpful for you to have some tips and tricks that you can use when you go to these events and parties so that you can maintain the level of sobriety that is right for you , or maybe if you've set boundaries on how much you want to drink , or you just want to drink from a place of peace , knowing that you have a plan and you have a protocol for how to use it . Now I am going to deep dive into protocols in my Sacred Subriety Lab to find out more information about the Sacred Subriety Lab and how to cultivate a pearl of great price . I invite you to visit my website , thecatholicsubrietycoachcom . There's a link there that says the Sacred Subriety Lab and you can learn all about it there . But today I just want to talk about creating a plan , having a plan in place which involves protocols of what you can do . I find that if you plan ahead of time , then you won't just react to your urges . It'll be something that you think more about . You're more intentional when you do decide to drink , or you have a lot more peace when you decide to say no .

Speaker 1 2:23

So what is a protocol ? A protocol is basically having a plan that creates peace and safety in vulnerable situations . So for those of us who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason , having a protocol in place keeps our boundaries safe and allows us to keep promises to ourselves . Having a protocol also retrains our brains and nervous system so that we feel safe . Because , again , I talk about this in the lab one of the things that our brain does is it protects us and it wants to keep us safe and comfortable , and so it keeps us in those comfortable habit loops . But we want to retrain our brain and to do that we have to have protocols in place and then actually do them over and over and over again , building that muscle . Having a protocol also lets the Lord in , because you are opening yourself up and when you open yourself up , you are taking an action . So a lot of times we can pray like , please , lord , let me get through this situation and say all the Hail , marys and our fathers and thanks amen , and that is great and prayer is very important and keep doing that . But at the same time we also have to take action . With that prayer and having a protocol is that action step to opening yourselves up and then praying , and so we're working with God , we're in partnership with Him and he can work more fully within us and through us .

Speaker 1 4:15

Now we have protocols for all different types of things , but for the Purpose of this podcast , we are going to talk about having a protocol for an event or a party . So when we develop a protocol , there are four things we are going to be focusing on . The first is what I am going to do , the second is what I am not going to do , the third is ways I can ask for help to make this easier , and the fourth thing is how I am going to talk to myself . Okay , so as an example , let's say that you have a Christmas party coming up that you're going to go to and you've decided that you will allow yourself one drink , that you can make that decision to have one drink from a place of peace and that is all that you want to consume in the evening . So here's an example of the type of protocol that you might craft for a situation like that .

Speaker 1 5:30

So , the first thing , to think about what I am going to do , so you might set a limit . You might remember that no is a complete sentence . That's very important . No , thank you , is a polite complete sentence . Number three you might devise an exit strategy . So if you are just feeling so uncomfortable and you just are done , then just devise an exit strategy , something you can say to kind of get out of there without making a big deal about it . Number four knowing what non-alcoholic drinks that you would like to consume after you hit that limit . So just , do you like soda ? Do you like water ? Do you like sparkling water ? Would you like some mocktails or non-alcoholic beers or wines or whatever they're offering ? Just kind of have that in mind so that once you are finished with that first drink , then you'll have an idea of what you want to have next . And then the fifth thing you might remind yourself about how good you're going to feel in the morning and how proud of yourself you are going to be when you wake up and you realize that you were able to keep that promise to yourself .

Speaker 1 6:57

So the second part of the protocol is what I am not going to do . So one of those might be I'm not going to listen or believe any negative thoughts that are offered to me . I'm not going to give in to an urge just because I feel uncomfortable . I am not going to focus on how deprived I feel and I am not going to worry about what anyone thinks about my choice . I am the one who has to deal with how I'm going to feel in the morning , not them .

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Now , the third part of the protocol is ways to ask for help or make things easier . So one of those things could be tell your spouse and or a friend about your plan . Two is to devise a code word that lets your husband or friend know that you're ready to leave . Three , you might want to research some fun now non-alcoholic drinks that you can order , but do keep in mind that the bartender won't always have what you want . I've run into that a few times , so I always like to have a couple of backups and usually I'm like just give me sparkling water , but they usually have something .

Speaker 1 8:21

The fourth thing is to remember your why . Why are you doing this in the first place ? And so the last part of the protocol is how I am going to talk to myself . You want to talk to yourself in a loving and kind way , and I would even offer maybe to think about what Jesus would say to you . Now , if it sounds condemning or shaming or just straight-up mean , that is not from Jesus . So think about , if Jesus was standing in front of you in that moment , what he would say to you . Another thing you can tell yourself is I'm building new habits and it's just going to take time . So , again , I deep dive into this a lot more in the Sacred Subriory Lab . I hope that you will consider signing up for that .

Speaker 1 9:12

If you feel like you need extra support and information and tools to help you to gain clarity and confidence around your drinking , so that you can drink from a place of peace or decide not to drink at all . You can take it or leave it , and it causes no drama at all . To find out more information about that , go to my website , the Catholic Subriory Coach . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Subriory Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Subriory Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsubriorycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at TheCatholicSubrioryCoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .