Exploring Meekness and Humility in Catholicism

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Subriety Podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a Joyfield Catholic , and I am the Catholic Subriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . So what does it mean to be meek and humble of heart ? Our next guest , roxanne DeVera , is a Catholic life coach and she's a friend of mine .

Speaker 1 0:40

I just have to tell you , guys , that Roxanne and I met at the Professional Christian Coaching Institute , where we were both trained as life coaches , and she has become a dear friend to me and I just appreciate her so much and I'm so excited to have her here with me today . She's the owner of Meek and Humble , she is a wife to a loving husband and they live happily in Southern California . She's a coach that has a passion for helping busy Catholics toward a life of simplicity and intentionality by providing tools to reclaim time and space and maximize their God-given talents , and we can all use plenty of that this time of year because , as of this recording , we are in Lent or not Lent . We're right at the beginning of Advent , and so I think simplicity and intentionality as we move through the season are exactly what we all need . So thank you so much for being here , roxanne .

Speaker 2 1:49

Thanks for having me . It's always a pleasure to be with you , so I'm excited to spend time with you today .

Speaker 1 1:55

Yes , it's always such a blessing to be with you too , so why don't we just go ahead and start ? Can you share with us just your personal journey toward living with a meek and humbled humble heart , and how it has transformed your life ?

Speaker 2 2:12

Yeah , all interesting story , because I would say I was living completely opposite from that . And it's funny how our story goes and where God calls us , because it happened in a time when I was completely busy . I loved to do everything and say yes to everything . I didn't have a sense of boundaries , so I joined every single ministry , I suggest , every opportunity at work . At the time I was also , you know , getting ready for the vocation of marriage and also to commute far , so there's a lot of things that were taking away my time . And by the end of the day I was just exhausted and I would do this over and over again and feel a sense of there must be something more than this .

Speaker 2 3:06

And during that season that verse from Matthew , chapter 11 , verse 28 through 30 , had to appearing , like in one week , and I kept seeing over and over again , in the most random place was at a bus stop . It was just a random sign . And so I did a lexio divina on that verse and what spoke to me the most was learn from me , for I am meek and humble of heart . So the rest of the verse says you know , come to me . All who labor and burden , I will give you rest , take my yoke upon you and learn from me . So the whole time I I would read this verse before I thought , oh , just give God everything and help him . I didn't know on my part that there's something to learn and to do and having a meek and humble heart , but actually really deep and profound , because one having humility . It means well a priest said it . Well , where it's translated from , I don't remember Greek or Hebrew , but it comes from the word humus and it means ground or dirt , so it's a sense of groundedness , it's a sense being lowly close to the earth . For me , humility has been something that reminds me like who do I belong to , like who am I in a relationship to my heavenly Father ?

Speaker 2 4:42

And then for meekness , like that's also a really powerful word , that's taught me . So the word meek comes from prose , which means strength under control , and it's . They used to train wild stallions to be war horses , and so to be meeked is to have that strength under control . But that was really powerful for me because it meant harnessing that power that I have within , being able to have control of those emotions , like control of if I'm angry , or just a sense of just knowing who I am in relation to God and how to act lovingly and at peace and not to lose myself .

Speaker 2 5:27

Yeah , that's what came to me in really learning about the words , but in general that verse , like I could talk on and on about it . But I think the biggest thing that I took away from that entire verse from chapter 11 in Matthew was that , like God wants me to partner with him , like he wants me to work with him and not to do it alone because he says take my yoke , he wants me to be connected to him . It's so much harder to do things alone , but when we're linked and linked to him , it's so much lighter . So it's been such a life changer for me who was so focused on doing everything and putting so much weight on myself , but now , like I can surrender that and really partner with God and pay attention to what he wants from me .

Speaker 1 6:18

You said so many great things . I love how you broke out , though meek and humble , because I don't know if it's just me , but sometimes when I thought about meek , it's almost like somebody who's like I don't know , like mousy , like somebody who takes , you know , like people pick on , or like they don't stick up for themselves or they , you know , I don't know . It's just kind of always been the connotation that I've had of that word . But when you said that meekness is actually strength under control , that just was like . That blew my mind , that was just like oh my gosh , that's amazing .

Speaker 1 7:02

And then it makes that verse make so much more sense , too . Right , when we understand what that actually means and that we do have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us . So we do have that power within , we do have that strength . We just have to ask for it and we have to use it so that God can pour his graces into us . And then the humility part . I think sometimes , you know , I've been guilty of this myself of just having like a false sense of humility or like being self-deprocating , or you know those types of things .

Speaker 1 7:41

But when you said that it's like a grounding . You know , being humble , being grounded , that just I don't know it just like made so much more sense to me , especially in relation to those two words together .

Speaker 2 7:56

Wow , now , when you're talking about how meekness sounds mousy , it's true , like you might think of it as a weakness , but it's such a great power inside . It's like self-mastery . It's really mastering who you are , who God made in you . It's beautiful .

Speaker 1 8:16

Yeah , I love that . I'm never going to think of that word the same way again . So thank you for that gift . So can you , from your experience and work as a coach , can you share some practical ways that we can cultivate trust in our daily lives ? A lot of my listeners are struggling with trying to figure out , you know , the role that alcohol plays in their lives and a lot of times it just kind of comes down to trust or using alcohol as a bandaid for other things , to mask other things , and so I believe that if we can cultivate trust , that's a really good foundation to like get started in moving forward or moving . You know , getting clarity on someone's either drinking habits or any other . You know vices that kind of tie us down . Again I'll restate my question but what are practical ways to cultivate that in our lives

Trust and Surrender to God's Will

Speaker 1 9:21

?

Speaker 2 9:21

I first want to acknowledge that trust is hard . It's a very gradual process and to battle something that hard whether it's addiction or other things , it's not easy . So I just want to acknowledge that because it's important that it's like there's not like this one thing that's going to solve it all . It requires a lot of self-awareness and I mean the greatest thing that you can do is is to really cling to God , is to really lean into Him , as hard as it is sometimes , or even if you don't feel His presence , you don't hear His voice just seeking and knocking on that door , asking frequently in prayer , asking for the grace to help , like the grace to help me trust you , lord . That's a simple prayer and I remember going to confession one time and the priest's penance was the best cause . He just said anytime you feel this way , just pray . Jesus , I trust in you . And it's so powerful just to say that , jesus , I trust in you , jesus , I praise you Because it's so simple and he meets us there .

Speaker 2 10:40

And so if there's anything that I would suggest doing , is one being gentle with yourself , like take small , gradual steps towards that goal that you want to reduce from until you get to the actual goal of letting go and detaching from what's not healthy or what's not good for you or what doesn't serve your soul .

Speaker 2 11:05

So cultivating trust requires practice , requires presence , requires companionship , working with others , being with others that help you learn how to trust , because it requires a sense of safety , like it's easier to trust when you feel safe , when you don't feel judged , when you feel okay to make mistakes in the fall , because you know that they'll be there and God will be there . He never fails . And so , yeah , I think that's the greatest thing to do is being present and clinging , leaning into God , and having a coach is like the most effective thing . That's helped me really learning about myself and affirming me and who I am and helping me discover the areas that I need improvement . Just walking with someone , partnering with someone , to help you recognize the areas that are hard , so you can build the muscle of trust .

Speaker 1 13:20

Yeah , that's so important to point out because it's so often we just get kind of like our vision is clouded with our own insecurities or self-sabotaging mindsets , or we just have an obstacle in our face that we just don't know how to get past . But it is true , with coaching you're able to . You know coaches help you look at things from another perspective and then all of a sudden you know it can open up , like this whole new room that you didn't know was in your house .

Speaker 1 13:59

You know it's like oh my gosh , this is amazing and I didn't know I had all of these resources or you know all of that . So I really like that you pointed that out and then also acknowledging that trust is hard and I think building on , you know , having that meek and humble heart right , Like knowing that you have the strength that God has given you , the strength and then , as you like you were saying , lean into that , it makes trusting a little bit easier . It's not an all at once thing for most of us .

Speaker 1 14:37

Some people are all in there and that's great , but for a lot of us , it's just little by little of like , well , I'm gonna try this . Okay , that was good , now I'll try this , and it is definitely a process . And then another thing that you work on with your clients is like the concept of surrender , but we have to trust before we can surrender , right ? So in the beginning , you're saying have a meek and humble heart . That helps us know who's we are like , who we are and who's we are more importantly , and then we can trust , and then we can surrender . So why do you think , though , that it's such a struggle for so many of us to surrender and let go of control , even if we do know that God has our best interests and mine or those of our loved ones ? Why do you think it's so hard to just kind of lay it down for him ?

Speaker 2 15:37

Yeah , I mean I can speak on that on a personal level is just there's a lot of fear Because you don't know . There's a lot of fear and uncertainty like what happens , like when you let go . And it's a powerful question to ask because what does happen ? Like what if you did let go ? Look what if you didn't let go ? Like what would happen .

Speaker 2 16:07

And I have a tool that I actually use for clients and I walk them through prayer and I invite them into a space to ask what is it that God gave you to be in your control ? Like what is within your control and what is outside of that control . What can you give to God ? And so I can offer that as a free beat to your listeners . It's a free download that you can access through meekandhumblecom and the resource page . But if you sign up you get that download and enter in box . But I would just bring this worksheet to prayer or during a holy hour and just invite God into that space to help you look through or assess your life and see what are the areas that God's given me , that he allowed me to have care over , and what is his Like , what do you want to give into his hands . It's been such a freeing experience to do that for myself , and so that's what I offer to those that I help .

Speaker 1 17:21

Yes , thank you so much for offering that to my listeners too , because it does sound like a powerful tool . I'm going to check it out too , but I'll leave Roxanne's information in the show notes so that you can grab that free beat , because I could see how that would just be very helpful and transformative . Like you were saying , take it to prayer and then just to look at it and reflect on that and then use that going forward . So thank you for offering that , of course . So what do you think that it means , though ? To truly surrender ? Like what would that even look like ?

Speaker 2 18:02

It's hard to not connect it to trust , because they go hand in hand . To truly surrender is to be willing to be a gift to God , to truly give yourself , like everything , to him , because , like I always say that I don't own anything that I was given , it's all a gift to me and I'm just here on earth stewarding the gifts God gave me and so it's not mine . So surrendering is being willing to give it to God . Oh yeah , there's just a sense of being able to let go and there's something so freeing about it . There's freedom in surrendering .

Speaker 1 18:48

Yeah , that's so true . There is so much freedom . I love what you said . Okay , I'm going to say it and then you correct me if I didn't say it right . So you said to truly surrender is to be willing to be a gift . Is it to God or for ?

Speaker 2 19:03

God To God . I guess being a gift to God , because it's like that exchange , it's like love is a covenant , an exchange of people , a lot of things .

Speaker 1 19:17

Yeah , that relationship not just and that's what I tried to explain to people that don't have faith it's not just like rules and a religion , it's a relationship and that's what I think , unfortunately , like , so many people miss and that's why they miss out on finding what they truly desire which is God .

Speaker 1 19:48

So those are all great . So the other thing that you work on or that you talk a lot about is temperance , and that's something that's definitely at the heart of what I do with my clients and what we're seeking a lot of . What we need more of , I think , or we need more temperance that helps us say no to things that keep us from God , but choose the things that we do need to say yes to for him . So temperance is often misunderstood , so can you explain what that means to you and how it might help my listeners to kind of cultivate that yeah , to cultivate that virtue ?

Speaker 2 20:35

Yeah . So temperance , like the simplest definition is to have self control , to not let other things control us , but that we can , yeah , have a sense of control within us . That requires , like I've shared earlier , is to grow in knowing yourself , like , to grow in that self-awareness which is so critical , because the only way that we can be better is to know how we operate , like to understand how we work . I find that learning about what I was better at motivates me . What's the driving force behind what

Living a Meek and Humble Life

Speaker 2 21:19

I do has allowed me to build better habits , make better decisions for even how to respond .

Speaker 2 21:31

Going back to that self-mastery is just , it's going to be our whole life journey . Like I say , all the virtues are really muscles to build like , little by little , like learning about how God made us and being able to develop that habit based on who we really are . For me , it's been that , like based on who I know I belong to , how I know I work . That's how I'm going to make better decisions for my life , like what's important to me , what do I value , what are my needs . Knowing all these areas could help us navigate through things and know what triggers us , so that we can have better control of how we respond to certain situations or actions .

Speaker 1 22:20

Yeah , as you were talking and I don't know who said this quote , it's just like stuck with me , though , like when we forget who's we are , we start acting like who we aren't . And just when you're talking about that , that's what walked into my mind , because it's like when we do realize what we value , what we hold dear , what God wants of us , what brings us peace , and then like who's we are , then we have some of that accountability too , of knowing that we are here and we have a job to do that God has equipped us for and given us gifts to use . And if we do that , then you know we'll live that fulfilled life of peace and fulfillment , because God is filling those holes that we try to stuff with other things right with like alcohol or food , or scrolling or Netflix , or whatever it is . Yeah , so can you share some strategies or practices that have helped you to cultivate a meek and humble heart , or maybe some strategies that you've used with your clients ?

Speaker 2 23:39

Some things that have been helpful , like having something that helps you understand what guides you , your values , what your needs are , what your gifts and talents are , what are the areas which people have affirmed you that you're good at , what brings you to life , what gives you energy . And these are the areas that kind of give you a little more understanding of how God made you and each person is so unique and unrefeatable that to live with meekness and humility is going to look different for everyone . But when you know someone is living out of that like , you will see the fruits of the spirit flourishing in their life . For myself , it's an ongoing process , but as I walk with people it's like God being revealed in each person and even people are revealing God in me and just being open to that learning that . You know we're not going to be perfect , like we're continually work in progress until we make it to God in heaven , but easiest way , simplest way , is just remembering who you belong to and learning what you're made for .

Speaker 1 25:06

Yeah , I think it all really comes down to that , because when we look in the world and we see where there is brokenness or hurt or just that sadness , a lot of times , that's what it comes down to very often is just not knowing that and even their own self worth right , they're worth in God first and foremost , but just you know they're worth as a person here , like trying to do the best they can on earth , right In our humanness , and so I think that that's something well , I know that's something that both you and I are very passionate about is just helping people just know their identity and just trying to shine that light into them of knowledge of like you are loved , like God loves you .

Speaker 1 26:02

It doesn't matter what you've done or where you're at or what's going on . There's always time , in whatever way you can , to turn your face to him so that he can shine that light on you too , because , right , we're not unique or special . I mean we are to God , but it's available to everyone and anyone . Yeah , right , so okay . Well , you have given us so much insight and inspiration and I just love it . You know that . I love the way that you just you're so calming , like every time I'm around you , I leave feeling like so much more peaceful and .

Speaker 1 26:44

So you have that Gift for sure . So thank you for sharing that with me and with my listeners . But I just want to give you an opportunity . I know you shared a freebie with us that I can't wait to check out , and I know my listeners Will want to do that too . But anything else that you would like to like , where people can find you or any other Projects that you have going , the floor is yours to share away .

Speaker 2 27:10

Yeah , so well . You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at meek and humble Catholic , and also my website . I shared meek and humble calm for the end of the year since it's . It's always nice to start afresh and start anew and , if anyone's interested in coaching , I'm learning how to reclaim time and space and to simplify life . I'm having a sale for 15% off from December 1st through Think , two weeks before Christmas . But keep on the lookout . You can sign up for my newsletter , get updates about that . That's about it .

Speaker 1 27:53

That is so good . Thank you so much , roxanne . I just again really appreciate your time and your sharing and your warmth and energy and it's been such a blessing having you here . So thank you so much .

Speaker 2 28:10

Thank you , christy . Oh , you're such a blessing to me , so I'm excited See what you do and I'm just really excited to be here and I love spending time with you .

Speaker 1 28:22

So , no , I love spending time with you too . We'll see you later . Have a blessed advent and a merry Christmas . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode

Catholic Sobriety Podcast and Coaching Availability

Speaker 1 28:36

and I would invite you to share it with a friend , who might also Get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , the Catholic sobriety coach comm . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .