Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety coach , and I am so glad you're here , hello everyone . Well , today I have a confession to make . I am a master procrastinator . I often say that some of my best work happens when I'm feeling the pressure of being down to the wire . Can any of you relate ? There have been hundreds of times and I'm not even exaggerating that I have cut things really , really close or even had to beg forgiveness because I didn't complete what I said I was going to do when I said I was going to do it , and that is just the worst , because I just do not like letting people down . So why do I do that ?

Speaker 1 1:10

I always thought that my tendency to procrastinate was related to being unmotivated or even lazy , but what I've come to understand is that procrastination is actually a stress response . Some of you might already know this and you might be nodding your heads like , yeah , I totally get that , and others of you may be thinking that sounds completely absurd , because the amount of stress that you probably feel when you are down to the wire it has to be huge , and you're right it is . But today we are going to discuss the similarities between procrastination and alcohol consumption and reasons you might be procrastinating , acting on your desire to drink less or not at all , and I'll also give you some solutions that will help you get unstuck and start moving forward to reach your goals . Until recently , I just kind of thought procrastination is just part of who I am and I told myself there isn't much I can do about it and it's just how my brain is wired . Yes , I have been able to take certain steps to minimize it , but , honestly , you can create all the amazing plans and systems in the world , but if you don't execute those plans , nothing gets done .

Speaker 1 2:33

I began to realize that I hear similar things from my clients in relation to their drinking and their efforts to set boundaries and moderate their alcohol consumption . Some of the limiting beliefs that I hear are I just have an addictive personality , I have no will power , I don't have an off switch . It's been so long . This is just part of who I am . I also hear excuses like I just need alcohol to unwind , I have an event coming up , the holidays are just around the corner . Now isn't the time . It's been a stressful day . I deserve this . Listen , no shame , ladies . This is how our brains work . They want to keep us comfortable , and alcohol Oftentimes keeps us comfortable , and that's why we turn to it . But , as Pope Benedict XVI said , the world offers you comfort , but you were not made for comfort , you were made for greatness .

Speaker 1 3:42

Growth comes in the discomfort , but in the meantime it's sure hard to go through . That's where procrastination comes in . It is just a way of avoiding what needs to be done , so that we don't have to go through the discomfort of facing reality , like that bin of clean clothes that I need to fold and I keep passing . I walk past it to my office . I walk past it when I go to my kitchen . I walk past it when I need to use the restroom . I walk past it and I look at it . It feels like freedom . It feels like I'm escaping from having to do that dreaded chore . Which , by the way , why do I dislike it so much ? I have no idea . But you know what ? That basket of clothes is not going anywhere and every time I look at it I'm reminded that I need to do it . So it's taking up brain space and it stresses me out . Maybe it's not stressing me out when I'm not looking at it , but every time I pass it it's just kind of like this weight of something I know I have to do . It causes chaos that doesn't need to be there . If I would just put on a podcast or some music and spend the 10 to 15 minutes that it would take to fold it and put it away , I'd save myself from the mind drama it creates every single time I pass it and , honestly , I'd be saving myself some time and have much more mental clarity in the long run .

Speaker 1 5:18

And here's the thing . The same is true for drinking . We think that by uncorking that bottle of wine , mixing that drink or popping open a cold can of beer , it will dissolve all of our worries . It will eliminate all our frustrations , write the wrongs of the day , help us sleep , feel calm , whatever we are seeking . We think a good , hearty drink will give us the escape and freedom we need . But within 20 minutes or less we are often reaching for another one to keep the buzz going . Maybe for you it stops at one , maybe not , but the result is the same when alcohol is starting to take more than it gives for you , that escape isn't real . It's just another form of procrastination . Those feelings , thoughts or circumstances that you are trying to drown out will return , and when it does , it will bring friends , shame and guilt along with it . It's often hard to recognize on our own , but once we do , it becomes very clear what we are doing and why we are doing it Now .

Speaker 1 6:35

Procrastinating when it comes to setting and attaining goals to drink less or not at all is a common struggle for many women . I'm going to reveal nine of the most common reasons and why you might be putting off this important change in your life and what you can do about it . The first reason is good ol' FOMO . That's right . Fear of missing out can be a strong driver of procrastination when it comes to changing drinking habits . People may worry that they will miss out on social events , experiences or connections if they choose not to drink , but it's important to remember that genuine connection and fulfillment come from deeper relationships and personal growth , rather than the temporary pleasures associated with alcohol consumption . Start to explore activities that align with your goals , interests and values , and this can help you overcome FOMO and feel more confident in your decision to limit or eliminate alcohol from your life . The second is social pressure . Friends and family can exert significant social pressure when it comes to cutting back or quitting drinking .

Speaker 1 7:56

Here's the facts . People like to have other people to drink with , so if you normally drink with these people , that's just kind of what they're going to expect . When this happens , oftentimes women feel obligated to drink to fit in or to avoid judgment . So if you want to address this , you need to promote open communication and just be really honest with everybody . Express your goals and intentions . You can just say you know , I've decided to drink less or not at all for my health . When you explain that , you may find support from those you may not have expected and you may even encourage others in the process , which would be great .

Speaker 1 8:38

The third reason that a lot of people procrastinate drinking less or not at all is that they use alcohol as a coping mechanism . Now , it's no secret Many people turn to alcohol as a way to cope with stress , difficult emotions or challenging situations . It's really important that , if this is something you do , that you explore healthier coping strategies that don't rely on alcohol For example , in my drink , less or not at all guide , a Catholic guide to freedom . It's free . You can find it in the show notes . I actually have a page where you can list , I don't know , I think like 50 different things that you enjoy or that you can do instead of drinking , like , maybe , prayer , meditation , journaling , deep breathing exercises , taking a bath , going for a run . You know there's a variety of things that people like to do , maybe crocheting . Integrating your faith into the process can also be a powerful source of strength and comfort . When you speak to the Lord in prayer , attend mass regularly and seek spiritual guidance from a priest or a spiritual director , you can find solace and strength during difficult times . You can also turn to coaching or even a 12 step program or counseling if that's what you need .

Speaker 1 10:02

The fourth reason that you might be procrastinating is breaking the habit of drinking is hard . Creating new routines and habits that do not involve alcohol is critical , though this could include finding alternative activities , such as exercise , reading , pursuing other creative hobbies , trying new hobbies or crafts , or spending time with loved ones . You may even find some new ministries at the parish who could use your specific gifts and talents to help it thrive . You might find it helpful to create a structured schedule that will reflect your new goal and align with your values . This will help you build that new habit loop and let go of the old cycle of drinking .

Speaker 1 10:52

The fifth reason that many people procrastinate drinking less or not at all is just a lack of intrinsic motivation . So without a strong internal motivator it can be really difficult to sustain changes in your drinking habits . You can refer to my episode it's episode 24 on navigating the six stages of change from a Catholic perspective . In this episode I offer some helpful tips on moving from one stage of change to the next . Another place to start is by identifying your personal reasons for wanting to drink less or quit altogether . I usually ask my clients to make two lists . One of those lists is the things I gain by keeping alcohol in my life , and the second list is things I lose by keeping alcohol in my life , and just take a look and see what comes up for you . The sixth reason many people procrastinate drinking less or not at all is just a denial of the extent of the problem . So denial is a common defense mechanism when it comes to addressing really any addictive behaviors and people who are in denial may minimize or ignore the severity of their situation . If you don't think you have a problem , but others do , I just encourage you to start journaling and getting really curious about the role alcohol plays in your life . Ask the Lord what he thinks about your drinking habit . This can be both challenging and enlightening . I encourage you to take it to adoration .

Speaker 1 12:38

Another reason that people procrastinate changing their drinking habits is just the perceived difficulty in reducing or quitting drinking . Another reason that people procrastinate taking steps to drink less or not at all is just the perceived difficulty in reducing or quitting drinking . We have a lot of fixed mindsets and self-sabotaging thoughts that can keep us stuck , and also the perceived difficulty of reducing or quitting drinking just becomes a barrier because it seems so overwhelming or like you can't do it . So to address this , the best thing to do is just to break the goal down into smaller and manageable steps . It's difficult to say I'm not drinking again ever if you've never tried setting some steps and moderating . So that's always a good place to start . Just set some realistic and achievable targets , such as reducing the number of drinks per week or gradually increasing your alcohol-free days . Be sure to celebrate each milestone that you reach along the way , to keep yourself motivated to continue making progress . By taking small steps , you'll build momentum and gain confidence in your ability to change your drinking habit .

Speaker 1 14:00

The eighth reason that people procrastinate is just a lack of accountability . Accountability is essential when it comes to making lasting changes . Make sure you share your goals with a trusted friend and family member . This is also a great time to hire a sobriety coach who can provide you with support and hold you accountable . This accountability is critical . Having someone who can check in regularly , help you take your big goals and break them down into smaller , achievable goals , offer encouragement and provide a listening ear during challenging times can be very beneficial . So the ninth and final reason that people procrastinate is just a hesitation to try again due to past failures . I hear this over and over again from the women who come to me for coaching , but here's the good news Past failures . While they can create hesitations and fears , they're actually really great learning moments and they can help be stepping stones for future success . Remember , each attempt brings new opportunities for growth . They bring new awareness and if you really get curious and ask yourself the questions that you need to , you'll learn a lot about yourself and your habit . Remember , procrastination is a common challenge for most people when making significant life changes , so it's essential that you're patient with yourself , you seek support and set realistic goals .

Speaker 1 15:46

Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .