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Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety coach , and I am so glad you're here . Hello everyone . Today we are diving deep into a question that lies at the heart of our journey towards a healthier and more fulfilled life , and that question is do you want to be well when we find ourselves contemplating whether we want to make a change that will enhance our physical , mental and spiritual well-being ? It is an important question and one that can guide us along the path . Now . It's not about having willpower to make the change . It's about igniting that inner flame of willingness and having the desire to transform our lives . No one can make us have that . We have to have that within ourselves . So if you are joining me today and you are wondering if you should start taking steps towards drinking less or not at all , I think you'll find this episode helpful as you navigate the stages of change Now . I discussed these stages in a previous episode , so you may want to go and check that one out after you're done listening to this one , if you haven't already . Now I want to begin this episode with John 5 , verses 2 through 9 . And it says Now , in Jerusalem , by the sheep gate , there is a pool which in Hebrew is called Bethsaida , having five porticoes . In these porticoes lay a multitude of those who were sick , blind , limping or paralyzed . Now a man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years . Jesus , upon seeing this man laying there and knowing that he had already been in that condition for a long time , said to him Do you want to get well ? The sick man answered him Sir , I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up , but while I am here , coming another steps down before me , jesus said to him Get up , pick up your pallet and walk . Immediately the man became well and picked up his pallet and began to walk . Why , would Jesus ask the man , do you want to get well ? The man had been ill for thirty-eight years and who knows how much of that time he had been at that pool . This man was sitting helplessly on the grand steps at the edge of the pool waiting for the water to be stirred up , which was believed to have been caused by an angel of the Lord who would grant healing to anyone who made it into the pool while this was occurring . Surely he wanted to be well , didn't he ?

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I imagine that the atmosphere there must have been one of misery and hope . When the waters were still , these people , who suffered from a variety of afflictions , may have been feeling depressed , sad , anxious . And then , as soon as the waters bubbled up , hope was instantly restored and there was probably a great commotion and lots of excitement as people clamored to get into those waters . Jesus asked the man Do you want to get well ? The first thing to notice is that the man didn't exclaim with excitement yes , yes , I want to be well . Instead , he answers with an excuse of sorts Sir , I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up and while I'm going another steps down and this is probably true there really weren't many options for those suffering from physical or mental health issues . In those days . The man couldn't work a trade and if he had no family to care for him , he could only beg for money and hope that one day those waters would heal him , but why would the man offer an excuse instead of saying yes . Well , he didn't know who Jesus was or that he could heal him , but at the very least , maybe he could have seen how strong and able-bodied Jesus was and asked him to help him get into the waters as soon as they started to bubble . I wonder , though was he afraid to dare hope for healing because he had been disappointed so many times ? Or did he chuckle to himself like Sarah did when she overheard the Lord's angels telling Abraham that she would bear a child after years of hoping and wishing and praying ? Did this man think that Jesus was inquiring into his circumstances ? To make small talk ? Was he afraid of what being well might actually mean and how ?

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While being free from his illness would be amazing . Life as he had always known it would change drastically . Maybe as crazy as I know this is going to sound . On some level , he was actually comfortable in his illness . After all , it's been part of his identity , his entire life , and everyone would look at him differently , but maybe kind of the same . He would never quite be like everyone else . He would also have to change the way he thinks of himself , no longer the beggar , the invalid , the reject and victim . He would need to embrace his new life and carry himself with dignity while glorifying God with his life , even though being free from his illness would transform him and make all things new . It would be hard , there would be a lot of work to do . It would be worth it , but it would take time .

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Jesus asks do you want to get well ? Jesus is drawn to this man specifically . He knows the man's heart . Wouldn't he just know that the man wants to be healed ? Did he sense some fear in the man's heart when he contemplated what being well would actually mean for him ? Here's the thing , though Healing comes through faith and a willingness to want to be well , out of immense love , care and concern for this man . Jesus doesn't assume or heal without permission . When Jesus says get up , pick up your palette and walk , immediately the man became well and picked up his palette and began to walk . Jesus is asking the man to trust . Jesus instructs the man to make an act of faith and obey and do three things that , in his 38 years of illness , has not done . He's to get up , pick up his palette and walk . Now that all sounds so simple for us , but for this man . It was beyond comprehension . To do so would be a total miracle , but he did . He did obey and did as Jesus asked . So is Jesus asking you if you want to be well .

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Do you want to be free from the feeling that alcohol might be controlling you more than you are controlling it ? Have you been feeling so bad for so long that you don't really remember what it feels like to be well , to feel your very best , not only physically but mentally and spiritually as well ? To be free from the shame and guilt and regret when you hear the words ? Do you want to be well ? Do you think ? I don't know . If I do , I'm afraid of what life will look like without alcohol . Will I still have fun ? What will other people think about me ? I'm not sure . I know how else to cope with life or relieve anxiety if I choose not to have alcohol whenever the urge arises . I don't know if I can handle actually feeling my feelings and getting through that discomfort without it . I've tried before and it just doesn't stick . It's who I am , it's part of my identity . It's what I do with my husband , my friends , and even when I have an evening alone by myself , it is going to be so uncomfortable to be the only one not drinking at an event . Yes , yes , things will be different , just like life was very different for the man that Jesus healed , but he was free .

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It's not about how much or how often you consume alcohol , it's discovering the role that it plays in your life . Look , if you love the way you drink and it doesn't get in the way of you living your life and it doesn't keep you from your relationship with Christ , then , sister , you're probably good to go . But if you find yourself wondering if you drink too much , or maybe you don't drink a lot , but you find that the reasons you decide to drink are problematic , if you spend a lot of time planning out when you will drink , or hoping just to get through this so you can open a bottle of wine , or apologizing for things you said or did while under the influence or being bothered by what is becoming a regular habit , then it's probably time to get curious about what is going on . If you find that you turn to alcohol when a problem arises , instead of taking it to prayer and laying it all at the feet of Jesus , well , that might be something to ponder as well , if you'd rather drown your shame and numb out than to seek absolution and the graces that we receive through the sacrament of reconciliation . That's probably something to take to prayer .

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Do you want to be well ? Do you want to transform your life ? Do you want to detach from those things holding you back from living a life you love ? And here's the big one Do you have the willingness to change ? Now , I don't know what those answers are for you , and maybe you don't know right now either , but I urge you to pray about it and if I can help in any way , I am here for you , sister . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at theCatholicSobrietyCoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time , and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .