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Welcome to the Catholic sobriety podcast mini-soad . These shorter episodes provide quick tips and information that you can refer back to when you need it most so you can achieve and maintain your desired level of sobriety . I am your sobriety coach and host of this podcast , kristi Walker . Let's get started . Hello everyone , and welcome back to another Catholic sobriety podcast mini-soad . Today we are going to deep dive into a topic that is often overlooked but is crucial to understand when dealing with alcohol misuse or addiction , and what I'm talking about is the shame cycle . Now , I've touched on shame before in another one of my podcast episodes , so please do go back and listen to that one . But this episode , or mini-soad , I'm just simply focused on the shame cycle itself and then providing a few steps on things you can do to break out of that cycle .

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So what is the shame cycle exactly ? The shame cycle when we're talking about disordered attachments or addiction is just a negative loop that people find themselves stuck in . Now it can start with feelings of shame and guilt , and these can sometimes lead to anger . This anger can be directed at ourselves through self-loathing or that mean girl voice like you're never gonna figure this out , you have no willpower , you never can stick to anything , blah , blah , blah , blah , and that's just not helpful and it does keep us stuck and then the anger can also be directed at others . So if people are questioning your drinking , or how much you're drinking or how often you're drinking because of the shame and guilt that you're feeling , that can cause you to spiral into depression and anxiety and lead to more alcohol consumption . So again , to cope with these overwhelming emotions , we often turn to alcohol right to temporarily relieve these thoughts and feelings .

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Now , initially , drinking does make those negative feelings disappear . So we feel this relief . We don't have to feel our feelings , we can kind of numb out . However , this relief is short-lived and it usually leads to unintended negative consequences , like waking up the next morning and finding out that maybe you sent some not-so-nice texts , or now you're stuck with even more anxiety and depression because now you have shame and guilt stacked on top of it . Maybe you're realizing that your drinking is causing you not to feel your best , or maybe you're developing health problems . It can strain relationships and in some cases it can even lead to financial difficulties . So when we're faced with these consequences , that just triggers more feelings of shame , guilt and anger , and thus the cycle continues and it's just this vicious circle that can feel impossible to break free from . But I'm here to tell you it's not . It is not impossible , my friends , and let's break down how you can get out of the shame cycle . So one of the first things you can do is to seek support . So , whether that's reaching out to a sobriety coach like me and or to a trusted person in your life , someone who is going to support you and hold you accountable in a kind and loving way , these individuals can provide you with guidance and tools and even a safe space to express your feelings . Remember , you don't have to navigate this journey alone .

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The second step to breaking free from the shame cycle is just developing awareness . When I'm working with my clients , we are talking about things and looking at things and looking at patterns . What causes you to want to drink ? What are those triggers when an urge comes up ? Are you making a choice from a place of peace or are you just reacting ? And then , when you talk about when you do make those choices to drink , what comes up for you the next day ? All of these things are just meant to bring awareness so that we can pull them out , look at them and you can decide does alcohol serve me ? Would my life be better if I drink less or not at all ? That way , you can acknowledge your feelings without judgment . We're just looking at them like you're a detective trying to figure things out .

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Now the third thing you can do is to develop healthier coping mechanisms . Again , this is something I do with my clients . You can do this on your own , but you need to take some time to just figure out what are some other things that you enjoy doing that might help you deal with those negative emotions . So that could include prayer , journaling , exercising . Maybe you have some hobbies or you like doing crafts or serving others , whatever it is that you love . Just think about those things , write them down and then , when you are feeling stressed , you can look at that list and figure out what is going to work for you at that time . And I'm not saying to distract yourself , but I am saying to release those negative emotions in a healthier , more constructive way .

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The fourth thing is to practice forgiveness . So go to the sacrament of reconciliation , receive that absolution , know that God forgives you and then forgive yourself . You're human and it's okay to make mistakes . What matters is learning from them and making the decision to move forward and to try to just do the next right thing . The fifth thing you can do is to seek spiritual guidance . Again , you can do that in the sacrament of reconciliation . Maybe get a spiritual director who can help guide you a bit .

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Our faith can be a powerful tool in breaking the shame cycle . So lean into your faith , steep yourself in the word of God and receive all those graces that he has for you , because he will empower you to make the changes that you need . You just need to ask and have the willingness to change Now . Make no mistake about it . Breaking free from the shame cycle is not easy , but with the right support , with determination , willingness and faith , it is entirely possible . I've seen it over and over again . So do not let those voices in your head that tell you you can't leave you to resistance . Remember that every step you take towards breaking the cycle is a step towards a healthier , happier and more fulfilling life , and it will just strengthen your relationship with our Lord . Well , that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic Subriotie Minisode . Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing , and remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .