Finding Peace

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety coach and I am so glad you're here . Okay , welcome back , friends . So today I'm so happy once again to have on the podcast my friend and health and wellness Catholic coach , denise Jelenick , and , if please , go back and listen to other episodes that she's been on . You've done two or three with me . Yeah , I'm not sure .

Speaker 2 0:53

It's always so much fun . Thanks for having me , Christy .

Speaker 1 0:55

Yes . So , denise , why don't you just go ahead and just share a little bit about what you've been up to since you were on the podcast last ? Yeah , okay .

Speaker 2 1:03

Well , if you haven't heard before , I my history is . I have a long history . I say long because once you get recovered you're like , wow , how long did I live like that ? That felt really long . I have a long history of not only being an emotional eater and binge eating , but also being what I call myself as an overdrinker . So I no longer have alcohol in my life , mostly because anytime I'm drinking alcohol I'm running from something and it was causing way too much chaos in my life .

Speaker 2 1:38

But since then , since the last time I've been on your podcast , I have joined one of my good friends and mentors in a new business venture . That is for health and weight loss for Catholic women . But the truth is , is that we really address the root cause of what's keeping women stuck being overweight ? So often , traditional weight loss focuses on diets and then diets and then like a few more diets and then restriction , and so our entire process . It's a whole step by step process that leads you into getting to the root of why you're overeating or what's keeping you stuck , and I'll be sharing a little bit of with that about that . I'll be sharing a little of that with you today , sort of that missing piece , and I thought it would really apply to your audience , because a lot of the women that you work with , I assume , were like me , thinking like I see where I want to go , but I don't feel like I can get there . So what's the missing piece ? What am I missing ?

Speaker 1 2:54

Yeah , and that comes up so much . No , it comes up so much where it's like I don't know if it's really alcohol or I don't know if it's really you know this or that , but I still feel stuck . Or maybe they are able to set boundaries around alcohol , but they still feel stuck and they still feel like they're going back to it . So I love when you say what is the missing piece ? What is that piece that's keeping them stuck ? So , yeah , if you don't want to talk a little bit about that , that'd be amazing .

Speaker 2 3:27

Yeah , I do want to talk about it . I've got to say and if you're listening to the podcast , we are going to describe this as best we can , and maybe you want to go watch this on YouTube so you can actually see the graphic that we have , but I think I can describe it very well so there's this like stuckness that we feel , there's this tornado , there's this whole like something's not right . Essentially , it's a lack of peace , and you know , peace is sort of this ambiguous concept these days . So I want you to just go with me in the term like if you feel unsettled or agitated , whatever you feel agitated or unsettled about is stealing your peace . And if you're a Catholic woman , you need to know that when you are unsettled or agitated , you cannot be connected to the Lord , because God only lives in peace . Okay , that doesn't mean your life is easy , because even when the Lord asks you to do hard things like , let's say , for example , there was this massive emergency or your house was on fire you'd freak out for a minute and then you would be very sure about what to do . You would know exactly what to do and that's peace and the Lord directing you . It might be like this heightened stated peace , but the Lord does direct you . So let's go back to the people and the women that are listening . Right now . Something's causing you agitation and something is unsettling you .

Speaker 2 5:07

I'll talk about how you get from that to returning to peace . That's called the missing P I E C E . So let's pause for a second on what exactly ? The missing pieces ? Because once you implement the missing P I E C E , you can then return to P a C E . And so when you return to peace and calm , instead of feeling like your life is a tornado and swirling around , you feel clarity . You feel connected to the Lord , and we have to remember that the difference between the tornado and being connected with the Lord . The tornado feels like worry . It feels like worry , confusion , chaotic , crazy . It doesn't matter what your brain thinks is the source of that . It could be drinking , it could be your kid's schedules , it could be the way your husband talks to you , it could be that person at work , it could be traffic . It doesn't matter what the tornado is , which is cool , right ? Whatever your unsettledness is , and that flavor changes all day long . What I'm going to teach you today you can use for any of those problems , but the result will be the same and the result will be that you connect to the Holy Spirit , you have calmness in your body , you have clarity , you feel positive , you feel hope , and what's so cool is that when you can return yourself to living in that state and that state , I'm going to guess that all of you listening are like that's impossible .

Speaker 2 6:55

I live in 2023 . I have this job and that job and I've got . You're not married to my husband and you don't have my kids and you don't have bleh , bleh , bleh , bleh , bleh , bleh , bleh , bleh . But I know I'm speaking to Catholic women and do you think the Lord would have you planted right now in 2023 , with your life , with your husband , with your job , your kids , if he didn't expect to carry you through and give you the strength to live in this time ? Amen , he wouldn't do that to you . I promise you that . But the reason it feels so stinking hard right now is because no one has ever taught you how to access his strength .

Speaker 2 7:49

We're living in the tornado all day long and we're looking around at everybody else , everybody else living in the tornado , everybody else is stressed . This must just be the way it is . But I just told you that if we live in that tornado and we're agitated and unsettled , the Lord is not connected with us , we are not in perfect union with him , and I know that you don't believe that that's possible , but it is . You have to remember that nothing is beyond the Lord's power and he wants to be fully united with each one of us . And this is the process , friends , this is our job for the rest of our human lives . As a human being walking this earth , our job is very simple . It's to recognize when our thoughts are tornado-ish . Oh , there's that thought , there's that thought , there's that thought . And if you look at my little graphic here , our eyes , when we're in a tornado , we feel really consumed , we feel like there's no way out . So our first job is to recognize oh , I'm having that feeling . Oh , there's that agitation , oh , there's that stress . Connect the missing piece and reconnect with the Lord . Now here's the funny thing . I told you the tornado flavor will look different depending on the minute of the day Me anyway but the result will be the same that I come back to peace and calm and the more .

Speaker 2 9:43

And you guys , this is a skill , this is what's so cool . It's a skill no one was born knowing how to do this . It's a skill that you can learn . It's going to feel really hard and weird at first because no one's ever taught it to you , but you have to remember that anything that you've ever learned in your entire life , you didn't know how to do . But the more you practice it , the easier it'll get . The result is that the more you return to the Lord's peace and peace and calm in yourself , your life will naturally start to feel balanced . You won't be drinking as much , you won't be emotionally eating as much , you won't be yelling at your kids as much , you won't be feeling despair , stress . It's not overnight .

Speaker 2 10:38

But the coolest part is that there's a point where you're going to , like I said , go back to the beginning , go back to the tornado . See , that's this bottom line here . We're going to go back to the tornado and we're going to practice the missing piece . We're going to come to PEACE and then we're going to go back to the tornado , and it's this big cycle . But the more you practice this , I promise you , the more you'll notice . Oh wait , I'm starting to lose my piece . Oh wait , I'm starting to get off track , and it'll be more of a quicker detour . That time outside of PEACE will be smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller , and the women that I work with and the women that you work with notice that , oh , I'm turning all less . Oh , I'm turning to food less Amazing .

Speaker 1 12:46

Yes , yeah , I love that visual because I think so much , so many of us can relate when you are just talking about the tornado and that every , you know all the things that are in there , because sometimes , you know , our minds do feel just like a tornado of like those thoughts over and over and over and over again , plus all the activity , all the maybe an argument with the husband , maybe you know whatever it is , and it's just swirling and it can be such , you know , it can feel like I can't move , I can't see , I can't , you know , do anything right now . I just need to make myself feel better . And so a woman will pop open that wine bottle or reach for that cupcake that she didn't want to have , or you know , whatever it is . But when we recognize that for what it is and do say okay , what is the missing piece ? When you were talking about it and I'm going to go off track a little bit , but be on track so many times we're told you are enough , like you need to figure it out , you can do it , all these things .

Speaker 1 13:58

But when I see your visual , I'm like you know , we are not enough . We needed Christ to die for us . Right , we need God , we need the Holy Spirit working in us , strengthening our gifts , pouring those graces into us , and that's the missing piece . So , if we can tap into that and realize what's going on , turn to God in those moments and then have the peace P-E-A-C that we are desiring . And then also when you were talking about how it gets a little bit easier so we maybe don't get into that swirling tornado for long periods of time . It's like I mean , you're a physical trainer , so you'll relate to this , but it's like building a muscle , right ? So we're building that muscle , we're building that habit like , oh , I feel myself starting to go into that tornado . I don't want to go there . So this is what I'm going to do and we develop those good habits so that we can get to that peace and balance quicker .

Speaker 2 15:08

I don't want your audience , I don't want the women listening to this , to think that we're saying pray , just go pray , because I'm not , I think , a practical solution for them . You know , when I was in the throes of emotional eating , I would pray , and I would pray really hard . I would say , lord , please help me not do this , please help me not do this . But I would see myself do it over and over and over and I knew that the Lord could help me . And if someone's listening to this and they're praying about not drinking , the Lord can help you . But we need a way for you to be able to help yourself , because the Lord will not help us if we can't quiet ourselves to access his strength , if I can't learn how to put the food down , if I can't learn how to stop over drinking . And last one , I'm going to teach you right now . Okay , so have no fear . This is something you haven't heard before and it isn't pray ,

Identifying and Addressing Emotional Tornadoes

Speaker 2 16:10

because praying wasn't enough for me .

Speaker 1 16:12

Right , there has to be something else . Right , because we can pray and pray and pray and pray , but we also have to step outside and do some work too .

Speaker 2 16:23

Yeah , I mean , that's exactly the point . There's the Lord's part and the Lord will heal me 100% , but I also have to do my part Exactly , and my part can't continue to pretend like nothing's wrong or not address the real issue . And that's why , going to the tornado , we address the real issue . Okay , so follow me on this . You need to understand how your brain works . The brain works in this way when you're in the tornado , your body is sensing that there's danger with something . And the way that your brain works is that you've got this watchdog a guard dog if you will and he's in the back of your brain . He's always looking out for danger , always looking out for danger , always looking out for danger , and when he sees danger , he starts working .

Speaker 2 17:11

Now , these days , as you know , we're not in prehistoric times , so what's dangerous to us ? Dangerous to us is things like I hate the way I look . Dangerous to us is that 16 year old talking back to us . That's an emotional danger , and you know , you felt that because you've been like . You feel like you're on a fight . Danger to us is when we're in this fight , flight or free stage , and I'm going to tell you what that sounds like Fight is I'm so frustrated , I'm annoyed , I'm so ticked off , blah , blah , blah , okay . So anytime you're saying that you're in that fight tornado , let's just say it doesn't matter what it is . And the question sometimes is is what am I fighting ? I'm fighting reality . I can't believe . He said that to me . I'm so mad . He said that that's fine . Just know that when you hear yourself say I want to give you , I want everyone to know the how to know they're in a tornado by knowing these catchphrases . So know that anytime you say annoyed , I'm frustrated , okay , you're in a tornado , even though it might not feel like a swirl , just know that is stealing your peace . This is something that the Lord wants you to address and if it comes up over and over and over , he wants you to look at it . Okay , this is how you identify your work . This is how you identify it , okay .

Speaker 2 18:44

Another thing that your dog , your barking dog , might think is dangerous is worry , fear of the future . I'm so worried I'm really anxious about , I'm so afraid that . So anytime you say that you're in a flight stage , you just want to like flee that discomfort . And you guys know this is so true because right now you're like oh , if you notice what makes you drink . Oftentimes it's the whole this . And if you can't see me , I'm ringing my hands . I'm so worried , I'm so worried , I'm so worried . You're trying to escape . That's why I shut food in my mouth . Okay , just know that stuff . You're stuck in the tornado . I'm not getting to the solution yet . I'm almost there , but I want you to be able to identify it .

Speaker 2 19:42

Remember , I told you that as you walk as a human being on this earth , your job for the rest of your life is to identify when you're in the tornado , when that dog is barking , okay , bark , bark , bark . He also might freeze , and you'll know . You're in that freeze stress state because you say , well , I don't know what to do . I have no idea what to do . What's the use ? I'm ? You feel helpless . See , your brain literally believes that's true . Your brain believes there's no hope . Your brain is afraid of feeling .

Speaker 2 20:29

But I want to tell you everyone who's listening to this it's just a thought , it's a stress state .

Addressing Thoughts and Finding Solutions

Speaker 2 20:37

Your body is literally just having a stress response . It's your dog barking . It's not , thank you . Your body believes it's true , but that's not true in the Lord's eyes . And so , since it's stealing your peace , since these thoughts are stealing your peace , causing agitation , making you feel unsettled . What did I say ? Your number one job on this earth is to do , notice it and address it . We're going to go sweep it under the rug Now you can , and nobody needs to pressure themselves to deal with something they're not ready to deal with . And I'm not saying they have to look at their drinking right now , but I guarantee every single person who's listening to this , if they address one thing that's agitating them in the way that I'm going to tell you , it will slowly , by , slowly , by slowly have more peace in their life . Christy , can you give me an example of something that you hear from your clients that causes them agitation or unsettledness ? Because I'd love to use a real life example .

Speaker 1 21:48

Yeah , so what I hear a lot , especially from the women who are coming to me looking to drink less or kind of gain some clarity around their drinking , is that they just use alcohol as a way to it's number one , a reward . So when things , when they're in that tornado , when things are going really , when things are really really high agitation , they're like , okay , but at the end of the night , after the kids go to bed , I can have that glass of wine . So that's part of it . So they look at it as a reward but also as like a bandaid and a way to carve out time for themselves .

Speaker 2 22:41

So I don't . Yeah , okay , I have no time for myself . Yeah , okay , all right , I want to get to both of those things , okay , all right . So you've got this dog barking , let's go back . Dog is like oh no , house is on fire , I have no time for myself . Blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah . And you also said I can just get through this . I'm like white knuckling . I can just get through this if I see relief on the other end . Oops , we will always be stuck in that tornado If we stay not accessing the Lord's will . Whose strength am I using if I turn to wine food yelling at my kids ? Who am I looking to for the solution of this ?

Speaker 1 23:38

Yourself yeah .

Speaker 2 23:40

You're like I'll take care of this , which is great . You guys Listen , we have brains and it would be amazing ingenuity if it worked , if it really worked , if it really got you what you wanted , and you really felt like , hey , I'm choosing to have this glass of wine and I have no regret about it . The only piece is that it's an illusion of a solution . That's the crappy part Is it feels like it's a solution until you're like crap . Now I'm dealing with regret and the regret keeps me where In the tornado . And guess what and I know this because I lived it the regret and remorse of seeing myself do the same thing over and over and over only made everything in that tornado that was called normal life spin faster , and that dog was barking .

Speaker 1 24:47

It's like now there's even more problems . Do you see all this ?

Speaker 2 24:53

So the first thing that we have to do is to calm ourselves down . If we're not feeling calm , we need to just calm ourselves down , calm ourselves down , calm ourselves down , let ourselves know that we're safe . And when you're ready , my friends , I have two things that will help you . We've got to calm the dog down . And why do we calm the dog down ? Here's why we calm the dog down because you have another really awesome part of your brain , and that part of your brain gets you what you really want . And when I say what you really want , I mean like 20 years from now , you're going to be like dang . Thank God I did that . And that is on your front part of your brain and it's your wise owl . And your wise owl helps you think logically , problem solves , is aware of long-term consequences . It's creative too . It looks at options . That part of your brain is the part you want to access , so you craft the life you want . But we cannot access that part of our brain when our dog is barking . When we access that part of our brain I'm going to let you all know this Every single problem that's in your tornado , that your dog is barking about , and we don't address them all at once is solvable . Everything like right now , it's solvable . You're the people listening , and I'm going to prove this to you Believe that my life is too hard . I can't get through my day without drinking . Okay , well , what's so hard ? Everything is solvable , either by number one looking at the thoughts that are keeping you stuck , because if you really think your life is so hard , you're never going to solve it . Okay , so just know that everything is solvable , either by the thoughts that are keeping you stuck or by a practical solution . So let's take thoughts keeping you stuck . Let's take the solvable . Let's take number one . Number one is the woman who says my life is so hard , I need to drink at the end of the day .

Speaker 2 27:46

Oh , my gosh , I remember being like hey , I mean , I didn't actually ask this to anybody , even though I really wanted to Two glasses of wine , because I told you , guys , I was an over drinker Two glasses of wine before my husband gets home . Like that's still okay , right , like that's still okay because it just made it lovely for him to come home . I was who I wanted to be then . So I remember being this way , but the mindset of my life is so hard , that's what's going to keep me stuck ? Okay , well , let's look at that then . Okay , so everything is solvable . We just have to get to the like what's keeping us really stuck ? Oh well , that thought of my life is so okay . Well , what does so hard mean ? Okay , christy , let me just ask you what would one of your clients say is so hard about her life ?

Speaker 1 28:43

Oh , maybe she's in a really hard marriage . So when her husband comes home , you know she's been with the kids all day , They've been , you know she's touched out , she's been catering to them all day and then her husband comes home and she just wants to have a nice conversation and he's all like hyped up from work and that's very difficult . So then she's getting it from both ends and then she doesn't feel like she's .

Speaker 2 29:07

You know it's act from everywhere .

Speaker 1 29:09

Like do I ?

Speaker 2 29:10

have . Like every enemy I have lives in my house . Have you ever said that to yourself ? Can everybody just stop attacking ? Okay , so what's the problem ? So now let's go , let's just keep going down , all right . What feels so hard ? I feel like I have zero reprieve , right . I have no outlet and I feel attacked by the people in my house . Oh , isn't that interesting . What do you mean by attacked ? So I want to have a nice conversation with my husband . What does nice conversation mean ?

Speaker 1 29:50

Yeah , like what's you really to him ? Yeah , I didn't know if you were asking me .

Speaker 2 29:55

No , I mean , I guess we would just click , you would just keep coaching this person and be like , well , what does a nice conversation mean ? Well , I want him to be , I want him to share about his his day . Okay , well , usually when we want something , it's because we think it'll make us feel something . If you let's pretend like your husband and you have a nice conversation , what would you feel ? I feel connected with him , I feel supported by him . Okay , so you can work on that like mindset thingy for you , really address what you want to feel supported and connected to your husband . Okay , how can we create those feelings for you ? How can we make it so that you do have reprieve ? Maybe the real thing that's keeping someone stuck . So let's , okay , so that's husbandy thing . And I'm just briefly touching on this . This is just the beauty of working with a one on one coach , but you can do this for yourself , friends , I'll go into the examples so you can start asking yourself these questions .

Speaker 2 30:56

Let's talk about the kids . I'm all touched out . What does all touched out mean ? Well , it feels like it's mama , mama , mama .

Speaker 2 31:03

Okay , the root is what's the solvable thing here ? What's keeping you stuck ? What's keeping you stuck is you believe that you need to 100% be available to your kids at all time . She's like what do you mean ? That's not true . If that's what you want and you were getting the results you wanted , then that would be fine . But what you're telling me is that , by being available , that thought like I have to be available all the time is draining you and depleting you so much , so that the only solution you have is to pick up some wine or carry it in your purse for kindergarten graduation . I'm just saying so let's address the real thing here . Is it because ? Is the wine causing chaos ? No , but it's the inability to clearly address the root of what makes life feel so hard . That's the missing piece , christy , and I told you everything is solvable , either by the mindset that's keeping us stuck or a practical solution , and what I mean by that is mindset .

Speaker 2 32:25

Here's one , one example we just went through . I believe I have to be available to my kids at all time . Okay , that's the mindset , so let's talk about is that getting you the results you want ? And then there's the practical application . The practical application is where do I put boundaries up If my kids are tiny ? How do I train them that it's quiet time . You don't have to go to sleep , but it's time to sit on your bed . And then the next step of that is when we get that time to ourselves , how do we , how do we use it so that we feel refreshed

Coaching for Personal Growth and Solutions

Speaker 2 32:56

and replenished ? And we didn't just scroll on Facebook or Instagram for like 45 minutes and now we're like , oh , I don't even feel refreshed Because the other piece of that is the woman listening to . This is like , but I don't know what refreshes me . Great , now we know what to look at . Do you see how you just keep noticing your brain's going to be like .

Speaker 1 33:20

We don't know how to do that .

Speaker 2 33:22

Well , let's address it , let's talk about it . I'll tell you , I was there one time where I was like I don't even know what refreshes me . Yeah , how can I know ? How can I start finding out ? Oh well , what if I just kind of keep a notebook piece of paper and I notice when my energy goes down or when it feels refreshed ? Great , how can I start to notice myself and learn about myself ? Like everything is literally solvable ?

Speaker 1 33:57

Yeah , yeah it is , and it is just about like calming down and slowing down and really just thinking , getting curious and just asking ourselves those questions . And , like you said , working with a coach can be very illuminating because we ask questions that they don't necessarily ask themselves , because they're seeing it from inside the tornado , where we can , like , talk to them and kind of pull out , like what it is , and kind of break that down into smaller pieces , which is what you just illustrated in a very like small scale of breaking it down into pieces so that it becomes clearer and it becomes more manageable , because those smaller pieces are so much easier to address than all the trying to address it all at all at one time . But we get , but they can totally do that for themselves too . Like you said , just ask yourself those questions like why , what am I feeling ? What is the thought ? Am I getting those results ? I love that question and , like , is what I'm doing now getting me the results that I want ?

Speaker 2 35:15

Yeah , you see , years ago , when I was learning about coaching , one of my favorite podcasts was learn to coach yourself . I remember listening to that and on there I heard the truth . And the truth is is that women Number one . You can learn how to coach yourself , but the benefit of a coach is that you get there faster , right , and it's a lot more fun . And if you have a coach and you are determined to be able to continue on your own is you take everything that coach teaches you and then you use it for the rest of your life . You just have a coach short term .

Speaker 2 35:56

Mm hmm , yep , women come to me and they come to you because they think we're going to talk about food , weight or alcohol . But I'm going to tell you , and you know this , food , weight and alcohol are not the problem of our clients and the women we work with . It's only been their solution , exactly . And so what we're offering them is a real solution , mm hmm , even if they keep eating , even if they keep drinking , we're going to address their real problem . They don't have to stop eating , they don't have to give up food , they don't have to stop drinking , never drink again .

Speaker 2 36:37

Mm hmm , but they do need a real solution for them to live the lives that they are longing for , that they know the Lord has in store for them . That will help them stop feeling hopeless and to feel peace and hope and uplifted . Yeah , yes .

Speaker 1 37:00

Yes , I love that . It's so , it's so beautiful , and I love what you said , like the goal of coaching isn't to be coached for the rest of your life . It is to gain the tools necessary to learn how to then coach yourself for the rest of your life so that you can live a life you love and a life that you don't feel like you have to escape from .

Speaker 2 37:25

Mm , hmm .

Speaker 1 37:25

And that's the key right .

Speaker 2 37:29

That's the goal with coaching Learn to live the life you love , that you don't have to escape from . Mm hmm , that should be your tagline , that is okay .

Speaker 1 37:43

I do say it a lot , but I think and it's so true though , because I feel like that's a lot of times what we're doing whether it's scrolling food , alcohol , whatever , binge watching shows , whatever it is we're just trying to escape , we're trying to carve out that time , we're trying to not think about the stress , the worry , the inadequacy , whatever it is , and so , yeah , I think that's that's the goal . But oh , my goodness , denise , you have given us so much today , so good . I love the barking dog and wise owl analogy as well . That's just brilliant , and I'm going to think about that when I have those thoughts , like , am I thinking with my barking dog or my wise owl ? And you definitely know , because you gave us that very the descriptions of those very different ways of thinking .

Speaker 1 38:41

Are we thinking because our thoughts and our actions and results because of that barking dog , or are we slowing down ? Are we getting into that space of being able to really think and process , break things down , coach ourselves , be creative , sit with the Lord , whatever it is , and I want to be that wise owl . I want to think with my wise owl brain as much as possible . So , thank you so much for being here , denise . Where can people get in touch with you and find you ?

Speaker 2 39:18

Yeah , they can visit weight loss with the .

Speaker 1 39:25

Holy Spiritcom . Fantastic . And you are also active on Instagram .

Speaker 2 39:30

still at Catholic weight loss on Instagram . You can find on Instagram YouTube , all the socials at Catholic weight loss Perfect .

Speaker 1 39:39

Awesome . Thank you so much for being here , denise , and I can't wait to have you back again . Thanks so much , christy , god bless . God bless you . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at theCatholicSobrietyCoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .