Understanding Alcohol's Role in Your Life

Speaker 1 0:00

If you've been wondering if you drink a little too much but you're having a hard time kind of pinning down why you feel that way , then this episode is for you . My guest today is Food Freedom and Weight Loss Coach , denise Jelenick , and she is going to talk to us about step zero and provide some really , really helpful tips and hacks that are going to help you discern the role that alcohol plays in your life . So stay tuned . Hello and welcome to Rescued and Redeemed , a podcast providing hope and encouragement for women in recovery , for those who are wondering if maybe they drink a little too much , and for women who have loved ones who are suffering from addiction or in recovery . I am your host , kristi Walker . I am a joy-filled Catholic wife , mom , business owner and a Catholic life coach . But none of what I just mentioned would have been possible had I not been rescued from my addiction in February of 1997 . So welcome once again . I am grateful to have the opportunity to welcome my friend and Food Freedom and Weight Loss Coach , denise Jelenick , back to the show . She's a Catholic convert , a wife , a mom to teen boys solidarity sister . I am also a mom to teen boys and she is helping so many women discover how they can eat the foods they love with more peace , while losing weight and growing closer to Christ in the process . So today , denise and I are going to talk about well , denise is going to talk about step zero and she's gonna provide some amazing and very doable actions that you can take to help you move forward to find the freedom that you may be craving .

Speaker 1 2:06

So before we get started , i just want to give just a brief overview for our audience on the six stages of change and just so that they have a place to start Both . Is that okay ? Does that work for you ? Oh , so , to begin , there's pre-contemplation , which is just being oblivious to the problem , in denial . These people are probably not listening to us right now , i would guess , and they may have people that tell them that they have a problem , but they really don't think that they do . Then we can move into the contemplation stage of change , and this is just realizing that alcohol or another substance may be causing a problem , but it may not be .

Speaker 1 2:51

So this is kind of that process where we move in and out , kind of deciding maybe one day , yeah , this is a problem , and then the next day being like no , it's not So . It's just very much thinking about it , ruminating on it , maybe praying about it , hopefully , and journaling about it , and then that would move us into the preparation stage , which is this is when we're ready to take some action , and so we're going to take some small steps to move to action , but we're preparing for it . Maybe it's reaching out to a coach , like Denise , or maybe it's just making a plan and getting ready , and so that's the preparation stage , which then moves us into the action stage , where we actually begin to make the changes to our habits and create new ones to support our goals . Then there's the maintenance stage and sometimes there's also the lapse or relapse stage . So we won't get into those today , but , denise , thank you so much for being here , and I can't wait to hear what you have to say today Thanks , kristi , for having me on again .

Speaker 2 4:05

It's always so

Step Zero

Speaker 2 4:06

fun . And so today we're just talking to those people who are like I think I might have a problem , but I don't know . There's just something tugging at your heart . The Holy Spirit is like I want you to look at this , i want you to look at this , i want you to look at this , i want you to look at this And you just to have this tug to do something . And so today we're going to talk about what I like to call step zero . And this is when we don't really want to do anything about it , but we feel like we should do something or we want to do something . We're not ready to change our drinking , we're not ready to really change our eating , but the Lord's asking us to look at it . And so that's what the step zero does , because our brains love when we do something . So it feels like we're at least doing something , and when you see yourself taking a step forward , it'll quiet your mind . So you don't keep thinking I should do something about this , i should do something about this . You actually are doing something . So what I'm going to take you through is a very simple , doable action that requires a pen , the Holy Spirit and a willingness . That's all you guys . There's no diets , there's no deprivation , there's no swearing off drinking , there's no strict plan . It's just those three tools A pen , the Holy Spirit and just being willing . Okay , so how do we do it ? All right , so you're going to take out a piece of paper I like just a little notebook dedicate a little single subject notebook to this . You're not gonna fill up the whole thing , but I wanna tell you what the process is like . And then I wanna tell you some hacks to make it even easier . All right , so here's what you do , several times a day , or even hourly I like to say hourly and then I like to say but you really don't have to do it hourly . If you just do this three to five times a day , it will give you so much information , because the goal of what we're doing here is to just create awareness , is to just give the Holy Spirit some willingness to look at what He wants to reveal . And I truthfully believe that when we show the Lord an act of willingness by doing something concrete not by just like making a promise , but by like actually doing something He takes that act of willingness , that crack that you've given Him , and He throws the door open . So by simply saying , lord , i'm willing to put some pen , i'm willing to , like , put a pendo , a piece of paper . I'm willing to ask myself these two easy questions . I think the Lord says well , it looks like you're ready to know some things . And so the two questions we ask ourselves are two very simple questions What do I feel And what do I need ? What do I feel And what do I need ? And it's so .

Speaker 2 7:17

Your brain's gonna be like I don't know what I feel , i don't know what I need . And guess what ? In the beginning it is totally fine . You just put question mark , question mark , what do I feel ? I don't know , what do I need ? I don't know . That's so common , so just know that . That's totally fine .

Speaker 2 7:38

And a little hack for you is you can grab online just Google feelings wheel and it will give you a whole list of feelings . Or you can even like Google feelings and it'll give you a whole list . So you can actually go to the list and be like oh , do I feel this ? Do I feel this ? Do I feel this ? But just so you know , in the beginning you're gonna be like I have no clue . Question mark is totally fine , and then your brain's gonna be like I don't know what I need .

Speaker 2 8:07

Again , your brain likes to confuse you , but don't let that stop you . Your brain is just trying to stop you from doing something that it's not used to doing , and so in that instance , i wanna give you permission to , of course , start with question marks . I don't know what I need , but what I want to challenge you is to not think that what you need , that there's a right answer , or that what you write down is even possible . So it doesn't have to be something you can actually attain or something that's even possible . It just needs to be what does your brain think would be a really great solution right now ? And the answer can be a glass of wine , a shot , give me a case of beer . The answer can be ho-ho's . It can be whatever your brain thinks the solution is . It can be like for my husband to spontaneously combust , for me to land on a million dollars . It can be as wild and not possible As the possibility of changing your eye color . It just needs to be something that you write down that your brain thinks would be the answer , isn't it fun , so fun , you guys .

Speaker 2 9:22

Really , this is just an opportunity for you to pause in your life , check in with yourself , and the Lord will start to reveal things . Now you're going to do that at least three to five times a day and then at the end of the day , you ask yourself one crucial question , and the treasure and the key to this whole exercise is found in this last question . And the last thing you'll ask yourself at the end of the day is you'll just kind of look back over what you wrote and you'll say what did the Holy Spirit reveal to me about my struggle ? And so for the women I work with , we say with my weight loss , struggle with my feeling controlled by food , struggle with my you can put fill in the blank whatever struggle you can just put . What did the Holy Spirit reveal to me today about whatever you want this exercise to reveal to you ? With my drinking , what did the Holy Spirit reveal to me about what's keeping me feeling stuck ? It can be anything . If you're a chronic people pleaser , put chronic people pleasing in there , so it's so cool , all right .

Speaker 2 10:37

So here's a couple of hacks , you guys . Literally that's it . That's step zero . That's how simple this is . This is for that person who's like I really should do something . I really want to do something . Or you know , here's what the thing is is that you're going to say I really should do something , and then I would say , well , why , like you don't have to do anything ? Then you realize it's actually your choice because you don't feel good not doing something , and so this is the step zero . So now let me tell you how to make this a little bit easier . Number one the women that I have worked with , who find this to be extremely illuminating and extremely helpful , set a timer . So they set a timer either hourly . I worked with this one woman who did it hourly and she was like that was the best use of my time . But , like I said , maybe just three to five times a day , the more frequently you do it , you can , more information you get If you choose . I'm a paper person , but maybe you like an app . There's an app called How We Feel And it asks you how you feel . It does not then say what do you need , but you can always put that in the notes section of that app and review that at the end of the day .

Speaker 2 11:54

I suggest that if your energy is going up as you hear my voice talk about this and you're like I think I might wanna try that that you commit to doing maybe a five to seven day challenge . I've run it with groups where we do it for five days . We're like you know what . This is what I'm gonna do this week . Commit to five days , give yourself this five day challenge to do it . I , though , have had my clients start here , and they really enjoy the information that the Lord gives them that , even though their struggles are decreasing and they're getting lots of clarity , so they're getting the results and making behavior changes and losing weight or stopping drinking , whatever it is they continue to do this for four to six weeks as they're working on other things . This is sort of one of those habits that the truth is that I don't think we ever outgrow , or would never not be beneficial . I think it is always a beneficial .

Speaker 2 12:55

Finally , i suggest keeping all of your answers to that last question in one notebook or one piece of paper , so that you can really , at the end , just look back and see what was the fruit of that one question , and the Lord will . Then it's sort of like getting a direct message . These are like text messages from God , right Where he says this is what I want you to know . This is what I want you to know And the Lord doesn't talk to me like that often , but I like that voice . This is what I want you to know . I wish you guys . Our brains are so busy , the world is so noisy , and if we can just get a shortcut to what he wants us to know , man , don't you want your life to be easier ?

Speaker 1 14:52

Yeah , i feel like , too , this really helps , because sometimes we have our own voice going through our head constantly , right Like I can't do this , i'll never be able to commit to anything , i have terrible willpower and all of those things .

Speaker 1 15:09

But what this exercise , this very simple but very effective exercise that you've laid out for us does , is it kind of gets us out of our own head and allows us to look at it for what it is , examine it , be curious about it , like what is true about this , what is not true about this , what are the facts , what am I feeling ? And it's so good , because then we can kind of look at it and then change that thought that we keep having over , that we keep telling ourselves over and over again and instead take time to listen to what God wants us to know , what God wants us to hear . And I love that so much because for so long that's what I was doing , even after I was years and years sober . It was me having a conversation at God instead of quieting myself and listening to what he had to say .

Speaker 2 16:10

And .

Speaker 1 16:11

I think people think it has to be like this profound voice , like audible voice or like this aha moment . But I love what you said about just like think about it as text messages from God , like they're just like these little messages that he's sending us so that we can understand ourselves better , so that we can look and say , is this a problem , is it not a problem ? Like maybe it's not really a problem , but some like little adjustments need to be made for it to be , you know , not to have chaos around it . And so I love that . And I also love , love , love .

Speaker 1 16:50

My brain , loved it when you said five to seven days , just do five to seven days . Because when we think 30 days

Discovering Next Steps With Coaching

Speaker 1 16:56

, my brain's like , oh , but I don't know if I can do it for 30 days . But if we tell ourselves like no , just five days , just try it for five to seven days , keep that hourly or that three times a day , log and then look at it and say , did I feel better ? Was I feeling better ? What are the fruits from this ? And your last question what did the Holy Spirit reveal to me ? I just that's beautiful , and I've done exercises like this with myself and with my clients , and there are so many fruits from it . Even if you do start out with those question marks , it just kind of God gives us the grace to just keep going with it , you know , and so thank you .

Speaker 2 17:44

And I want to give your listeners the permission to do absolutely nothing with what the Lord reveals . It is so fine to write it down And that's it . He just wants you to know . That's all He just wants you to know . But I'm gonna give you a little secret . You can't know something without the Lord continuing to work on you behind the scenes , And so you'll start to notice yourself change with zero effort on your end . It's so amazing how He just comes into soul surgery . Mm-hmm , Give yourself this , Yep .

Speaker 1 18:29

Yeah , and it's like so I'm in marketing , i've been in marketing for a long time and they say you have to like hear something like seven to ten times before it like finally kind of sinks in . So that's a great thing that you said . Just just sit with it , write it down . It doesn't mean that you have to do anything . Maybe God is giving you , revealing something to you in in different steps . Maybe you just need this information just to have it and pray about it and ponder it , and then you'll come across a podcast or you might see something come on your Instagram feed or you might . You know , it's so beautiful how he those things that he really wants us to know and latch on to and consider , because we have our free will right , so we can choose to act on it or not , and sometimes it's not clear until we have more information . So definitely I love that .

Speaker 1 19:30

Don't put pressure on yourself to think like , oh God told me this , now I have to do this , like right now You don't . Is that kind of like what you were saying with that ? Yeah , that's exactly it . Yeah , that's so good . So when you do these these types of exercises with your clients and you just see them . Have you ever had those clients that have done this and they're like no , but I'm fine , this isn't for me , or just do people . If they have that step zero , if they are in that contemplation , do they more often than not come to the realization ?

Speaker 2 20:06

So I've only done this with women . So there's been a couple things . I've run this as a free challenge and that was super fun And you know the people who do the work have wonderful , wonderful lights and new information . So I'm sure there's a handful of people who signed up for the challenge and didn't do it . The other thing is that the women who I work with , they have hired me as their coach , so when we say let's do this work , they can choose to do it or not .

Speaker 2 20:44

And then you know each week that I work with a woman , we set goals And I have had some women who are like all right , that was . They're just like I don't want to do that again this week . And they'll be like OK , do I have some ? you can tell the OK , so do I have to do that again this week ? And I always ask the question was it helpful to you , was it beneficial ? And sometimes they're like no , ok .

Speaker 2 21:07

Then either a They don't see the benefit or they don't like doing it , which is fine . You don't have to do anything that you don't like doing . You know I'm never going to be like oh , i really think you should do it , because the truth is , i believe we're all experts in our own situation And you know what's best for you And you know part of , i think , our addictions is that we start to . It really steals our self trust And I always just really want to remind the women I work with you know exactly what you need . Our brains think that we don't , but you do because you're the expert in you And so , yeah , are there some people who say that wasn't great . I didn't like doing that . I kept forgetting . It's really fine . Maybe this just isn't the right time .

Speaker 1 21:58

Right , yeah , and that's the beauty of coaching , right ? Because we don't necessarily tell people like you have to do this , this is the program , you have to follow it , exactly the way that we say or you won't , you know , or you're never going to get a handle on it . Instead , with coaching , like you were just so perfectly saying , is it's inside of you . And so , as coaches , we work with our clients to pull that out of them , because what we think might work for us isn't necessarily going to work with for our clients , for the way that they think , for their lifestyle and for you know all of that . But when we talk with them and then they try different things , it's not a failure .

Speaker 1 22:45

You always learn , right ? So even if you try something , like you were saying your client tried something , they're like , yeah , that wasn't for me , i'm not doing that again . Then it's like , ok , well , let's find out what will work for you . And then you try something else , and so it's this constant moving forward and nothing is wasted , it's just built upon and you get more clarity , you get more confidence and you know decide what exactly it is that you need to do and that you want to do that is going to give you more peace that is going to bring you closer to the Lord and help you fulfill your purpose that he has for you , which you know just fills us with so much more peace and fulfillment and joy when we know that we're doing you know , as we're doing that Exactly All right . So do you have a challenge coming up or anything that you want to like talk to my listeners about , but they can find you right at turn to God , not food dot com .

Speaker 2 23:50

So yeah , so yeah really So , yeah , you can find me at turn to God , not food dot com . And what I really encourage women to do is that if you have a tugging on your heart just like with you , Christy if they have a tugging on their heart You owe it to yourself to have someone look at your situation and give you so much clarity and so much hope that will cut through the noise and the confusion and tell you exactly what your next steps can be . And if people just hop on a discovery call with you or me , they will have so much clarity and know exactly what to do next . So , instead of trying to figure this all out and what their next steps are , they can take a shortcut by booking a discovery call with you or me . That's how it happens ?

Speaker 1 24:42

Yeah , exactly , And it's not pressuring because we don't want to make somebody do something that they're not ready for or that they don't want to do , but we do want to help facilitate that forward movement . Whether it's with us or not with us , they'll at least have the clarity of what those steps will be after you .

Speaker 2 25:04

Exactly what to do . There's zero pressure , but at the end of a call I tell people exactly what their next steps would look like if they were on their own and what it would look like to work with me . And then they need to take that time with the Lord and with their family and decide .

Speaker 1 25:22

Well , denise , thank you so much again for being here once again . This is your third time and I just love having you on and I know you provide so much value for my audience And I just thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and just these awesome steps that I think are gonna help anybody that's just kind of wondering , like , do I have a problem ? I don't know , let's think about it . So , thank you so much And I can't wait to have you on again .

Speaker 2 25:55

So you have a blessed day .

Speaker 1 25:57

You too , and thank you once again to my guest , denise Jelenick , and you can find her at turn2godnotfoodcom . And before I close , i just wanna let you know about two freebies I have , and I think that they'll really help you in this step zero and this time of you know , exploring and getting curious about drinking . The first one is a quiz that I just created . It is called is drinking a problem . So you just take that quiz , answer some questions . There's actually some freebies attached to it . So once you get your results , then you have the option to get one of the freebies that corresponds with the level of drinker that you get . And then the second one is a guide that I created a while ago . It's called the drink less

The Drink Less Guide

Speaker 1 26:51

or not at all guide , a Catholic guide to freedom , and that has a bunch of great stuff in it . So it has like a goal planner . It has a health . You kind of can check in with yourself on your health goals and just see how you're feeling .

Speaker 1 27:10

I have a habit tracker and let's see what else A mocktail recipes . There's a whole bunch of stuff in there . It's like 14 pages . So that is totally free , and links to both of those freebies will be in my show notes , along with Denise's . I'll put a link to Denise's website in there as well . Well , that does it for this episode of the rescued and redeemed podcast . I am so honored and grateful that you joined me today . If you found these stories of redemption or the information provided to be valuable , i would kindly ask that you share this podcast with a friend or loved one who might benefit from it , and please subscribe to my show so that you never miss an episode . And if you feel moved to do so , i'd love it if you left your review And remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .