Deeper Understanding of Alcohol and Sobriety

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety podcast , the go-to resource for women seeking to have a deeper understanding of the role alcohol plays in their lives , women who are looking to drink less or not at all for any reason . I am your host , christy Walker . I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety coach , and I am so glad you're here . Okay , so I am so grateful to share with you that my guest today is Dr Stefan Neff , a best-selling author , advocate for mental health and addiction and an anesthesiologist . Born in Germany , stefan has studied medicine at the prestigious Heidelberg University before traveling and working around the globe , he now resides in beautiful New Zealand .

Speaker 1 0:56

Stefan's unique journey of recovery from addiction and mental health challenges has led him to become an expert in demystifying mental health problems and helping people live a life full of joy and sobriety . He shares his passion through his podcast , youtube channel and other social media under the title Steps to Sobriety . In his book , my Steps to Sobriety , dr Neff shares the lessons that he has learned and inspires readers to turn their lives around one little decision at a time . Stefan also believes that it's easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults , so he has partnered with Belinda Manna to create the Esni , the Mindful Mouse series , which helps children learn about emotions and mindfulness in a playful way , while helping adults put these life lessons into daily practice . I am thrilled to have Dr Neff here to share his insights and wisdom with us . Welcome .

Speaker 2 2:04

Thank you very much for having me on your show , Christy . It's an honor , it's a privilege , and I'm looking forward to being thoroughly grilled by you . Go for it , girl .

Speaker 1 2:16

Thank you so much for being here . I'm really , really excited to have you here . I've listened to several of your podcast episodes . I kind of like binge listened to them after I found out about you and I really love them . I really like the gamut of guests that you have on your show , on your podcast , and I just love your way with them . You're a great interviewer and you ask very insightful questions , so I highly recommend anybody go look up Steps to Subriety podcast . It's great .

Speaker 2 2:52

Thank you very much .

Speaker 1 2:54

To get started , could you please share a little bit about your Subriety journey and then what prompted you to write your book my Steps to Subriety ?

Speaker 2 3:09

I think we all drink not for the pleasure of drinking . Finally , whenever your drinking career starts , you finally develop a taste in which you become the convoiseur or whatever you tell yourself you are . The reality is we drink . Most of us drink to escape our realities . We don't like the pain , we don't know what to do with our emotions , so we try to run away , we try to escape . I think I'm exactly the same thing there . There are some benefits of alcohol that we always keep forgetting . Remember , most of us are a bit feeling shy and feeling not fitting in when we're younger . And guess what ? It is a beautiful way to disinhibit you and suddenly that shy little girl who can't get her lips apart is suddenly the center of the party and is becoming a very , very different girl , or a different boy in my case . And that was exactly these kind of things were the key drivers for me enjoying alcohol .

Speaker 2 4:20

Alcohol journey didn't start until really first year in university . Prior to that I had probably not the greatest childhood with a lot of stresses , nothing big to write home about , just the sign of the time , from divorce , early divorce in my life to single mum , latchkey child bullying . Then a key trauma occurred when I was when a gang beat me up . That left me shaken and completely rearranged my molecules up there and within a short period of time I changed from a more or less you know can't fit in , but reasonably he happyish boy to Rambo , because I didn't ever want to be in such a situation again . So I started my martial arts journey , and an interesting journey . So I became a move from the victim to the survivor stage . But I it was the 70s , 80s no one gave a damn , no one knew about PTSD . So therefore it was . I was pretty much left alone from a psychological point of view . Now , luckily , I created a good abstract kind of framework around it and I turned to PTSD symptoms into something positive . You will never catch me out again and that made me actually quite a good doctor later on , because it's hard for me for you to catch me out . So this was all quite cool . But you can imagine that you know I well .

Speaker 2 5:55

I guess I first became a workaholic for became an alcoholic because I would work very hard at school . Then I would go into the dojo or onto a running track and would work out very hard there and that was that . And it was only then , in my first year of university when three things happened . First things , I realized that ring leader , the gang leader , who are brought behind bars , he would never , ever find me . He had threatened to kill me as soon as he is getting out , but he would never , ever find me . I'd move towns and now , now , no chance . Secondly , I found girls . Thirdly , I found alcohol , and that was a very interesting combination Because suddenly this new person arrived on the scene , a disinhibited , happy , no longer watching his back constantly person , and that was a beautiful , beautiful time .

Speaker 2 6:53

So I must say that alcohol for me was very much a rescue . It was very much a relief valve or release valve . Can I , may I say something that that really helped me for a long period of time ? And I said many years yes , of course I did crazy things , but these crazy things were always actually fun and I was always the kind of responsible drinker . No , not responsible drinker , that's wrong . I was responsible .

Speaker 2 7:25

When I was drunk , I stood like that . I always had a respectful law enforcement . I always had I didn't . When other people got into trouble , I broke up the fights . So that was , that was me . So I actually had , I thought , a reasonable , good relationship of alcohol .

Speaker 2 7:40

Needless to say , it doesn't stay like that , because I was still running away and any new trauma that lay at itself on the old trauma . Again I ran and I ran and running and hiding became sort of the key thing for me , whilst I faced challenges head on in my profession and did one cause after the other and one , one qualification after the other . That was really the workaholic . When it came to my emotions , I'd never learned how to deal with them and I think that was the problem . And once there is so much layers of trauma coming on you and all fairness , I mean , if there is a God or if there are gods or whatever the universe it heaped trauma onto my plate . Thank you , let's see how much more you can take . So , and that was just hard , and I came sooner or later to the breaking point . Well , later , I guess this was only in my 40s and really I was a high functioning alcoholic with hindsight , and high functioning should always be put as an oxymoron or as an quotation marks , because we are not high functioning . Where we have , we managed to keep out of trouble . But that's about it . I can say that now because those of you who are listening and who maybe saying , yeah , okay , well , it's bullshit , because I'm fine , we'll talk about it , I'm fine in a moment .

Post-Traumatic Growth and Addiction Recovery Journey

Speaker 2 9:14

Um , luckily , at some stage the pain did no longer go away , regardless how much alcohol I drank , and the pain was still there and it just broke through and I was a mess . I was crying , I was depressed . There was anxiety , there was PTSD , still big time without me realising the letter . And it was then that , luckily , my wife and family staged an intervention when they went behind my back and organised an admission to a rehabilitation hospital , and that was really where my life restarted . That was really a beautiful , beautiful , beautiful time , because it took me out of the whole stresses , out of the whole chaos , out of the whole pain , once planted me like a seedling into a new pot which was a protected bubble , and there I was allowed to firstly get rid of the alcohol with the right medical support , then to start exploring who I was , and that was a very intriguing thing .

Speaker 2 10:32

I started to learn to experience emotions , because that's what they do to you . That's when you see these proverbial pictures where people sit in a circle and there's this lead in silence in the background . Well , that is really a feelings session . That was once a day for an hour , and basically the moderator is not a moderator , he's an idiot . He just sits there , he does do nothing , and then silence is so deafening that at some stage someone says something . That's what else says something , and then tears and laughter and anger and crying and everything .

Speaker 2 11:12

And you go through these emotions and you can't run away . That's a deal . You can't actually put sunglasses on or hat on and just hide yourself . It's not on . You can't drink or do whatever you previously did . You have to experience those emotions and that was interesting .

Speaker 2 11:29

So I had to learn to live without alcohol and to live in such a way that I can actually experience what is going on , and that was new to me . So that started a journey that started a path of self-exploration , of growth . That's really post-traumatic growth . That is the journey that I've been on in the last nine years now , which leads me to places that I would have never thought possible , which leads me to becoming a man that a truly I'm proud of .

Speaker 2 12:08

I don't get it right 100% of the time . I'm not sure that I get it right 90% of the time . I don't think any of us do Exactly , exactly , but I'm doing my best to take every moment as the gift that it is . It's a privilege for me to live , and I think that is where so many of us are coming to the conclusion hang on , I've gone through so much hard time that must have a meaning , I must serve a purpose , and that is where , suddenly , people like you and me start thinking about a podcast or writing a book , or going out there and actually making amends in a meaningful way .

Speaker 2 12:59

It is an amazing journey , and each of these journey is different , yet they're so alike . Many of us start at the same point false friend of alcohol , gambling , pornography , sex food , you name it . There's a whole range of addictions out there that you can unfold , pray to . And let's be quite clear , guys , the figures are there one in three , if you're conservative , one in four of you out there will have a chemical addiction . Now , that's not bad . And if you think that each of you has at least one significant other , that means that half of the population is affected by addiction .

Speaker 2 13:42

Boy oh boy . So let's give a few other stats there . Your chance of having a major depressive episode is one in three in your life . The amount of childhood sexual abuse my goodness . Wherever you look there are different figures , but the figures are scary . You're talking one in five , one in seven , something there . Some people say more , and that is one in seven for boys and much more for girls . The amount of mental health problems that we are facing in our society nowadays , it's scary 20% of the teenagers , female teenagers , have an established anxiety diagnosis . So it's huge . And just to give you a bit of harder core things , one in 10 have got a personality disorder . So these are often the jerks or maybe not so nice guys . And one in 100 are psychopaths and social paths . So it's not just in you that there's a problem . There are actually some rather nasty , often narcissistic people out there who are out there to make your life a challenge . So , surprise , surprise , you will end up in a lot of trouble .

Speaker 1 15:00

That's true . You add alcohol to that and it's just like throwing gasoline on a fire .

Speaker 2 15:07

Absolutely , and I call it in my book anxiety , because the anxiety hasn't gone away . But now you've got to hang over the next day anxiety . So it's , but you don't see it . You don't see it because at that moment the alcohol is the release valve . The alcohol is the soothing plaster that you put on your wound , but the problem to wound is fastering . So you need to actually address that wound . That is your trauma , whatever it is , and I think that's what I did not figure out for a very long time .

Speaker 1 15:42

Yeah .

Speaker 2 15:43

Do I regret it ? Oh , for crying out loud . I regret the many mistakes I made in my life , the many wrong decisions I made in my life , but having said that , without those wrong decisions , I wouldn't be the man who is sitting here now . So I guess I'm grateful for all the trauma , I'm grateful for all the rubbish decisions I made , because it now gives me the insight that I want to live more intentional , that I want to live each and every moment to the best of my abilities , and that is something I would have never , ever done in the past .

Speaker 2 16:21

There's no boredom in my life , my goodness . I haven't experienced boredom in the last nine years because it is . Every moment is a gift . Every moment I take , I take as an opportunity to either challenge myself or to relax . I take the opportunity to love myself , to look after myself . That's something , again , I never did in the past . So therefore , yes , it is amazing . It doesn't mean to say that the trauma has stopped . I'm not living any kind of a beautiful , funny VG and island where my personal chef is just waiting until my massage is finished . No , that's not how it works Really .

Speaker 1 17:12

I thought life in New Zealand was like that . That's what I thought .

Speaker 2 17:17

Oh yeah , right , not in Roche-Piroua , where I live . We are a soul of the earth forestry down to earth , we've got about nine gangs in an area of 100,000 people . So now , come on , we areit isno . It's not Lullaband , no , but it is still a beautiful place . And you look at the place where you live , you look at your relationships , you look at your job , all those things you look in different eyes . I think that is the beautiful thing once you become a , Once you move from victim to survivor and then from survivor to friver , and the friver makes the most out of what is given to him . The friver is the guy or the girl who is constantly thirsty for more knowledge , for more information , for more experiences , for more things that make life worthwhile living , and that is beautiful . So I think that is what I'm grateful for .

Speaker 1 18:22

Yeah , oh my gosh , I love that so much . Thank you so much , stefan , for sharing your story . What a journey , oh my goodness . And I love what you said because I think that as well . Like I don't regret anything that led me to my you know where I am today , because it made me , it makes me who I am , it equips me , it strengthens me and it allows me to help others , and that is what you are doing with your book and with your podcast . You're using that trauma , you're using your knowledge , your wisdom and your recovery to reach out and help others , and I think that's so beautiful . That's what we're called to do , right , to give back and just to help others . So I love that so , so much .

Approaches to Alcoholism

Speaker 1 19:14

So what you mentioned is something about , like you are a high-functioning alcoholic . What do you ? What would you say ? Is the difference , maybe , between someone who is a high-functioning alcoholic and a gray area drinker ? There's all kinds of like I don't want to label , I don't , you know , like all those things , and that's totally fine . I don't . I call myself an alcoholic because it reminds me , or recovering alcoholic because it reminds me of how serious my addiction was . But some people are , they don't want to do that . So what are your thoughts on that and maybe , what are the differences between the two ?

Speaker 2 20:59

Very , very good question . There are two schools of thought . One school is the AA thinking , where you have to admit as your step one , two , three , that you are no longer in power , you're no longer in control . You admit that or you believe that there is a higher power out there and that there is hope and help out there . So these are basically the first three steps . That's the integral part and that's the reason that you come to an AA meeting and you're invited to say hello , I'm ex , I'm an alcoholic , or I'm a gambler , I'm an overeater , anonymous or whatever . So that is one school saying stop bullshitting around , you've tried it all and you are not in control . So therefore you might as well admit it . So that is the one group .

Speaker 2 21:50

The other group says well , actually we don't want to focus on the negative , we want to keep you with positive things . The past does not equal the future , it's more sort of the self-improvement kind of belief system , the Tony Robbins quotation mark . So those kind of positive thinking , no , I keep you with new habits and therefore , sooner or later , the alcohol falls by the wayside . Both of them have their merits , both of them have advantages , and I think that is where you need to see how a particular person is , at which part in their journey they are . They might not be willing to admit that they had a problem , but they're willing to make a change . Then maybe that group over there is more good , and that is I mean 95% of people with an alcohol use .

Speaker 2 22:40

This order will tell you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me over there , john . Now look at him . He is an alcoholic Me . No , I'm just a social drinker . Yeah , does she affect that ? Your social life starts at 8 o'clock in the morning . That you actually have because you work so hard as a mum . You enjoy that with your girlfriends around lunchtime over a nice lunch and probably four or five glasses of Chardonnay before you pick up the kids . And then in the afternoon or you're working so hard let's make some lovely dinner , and I mean a dinner without wine . No , you can't have that . By the way , I mean , how do you call a meal without wine Breakfast , ok , ok , so you get the idea there's . People are creating their own reality . They often have a lot of jokes about alcohol in their life and the interesting thing is , people who don't drink alcohol they don't have jokes about not drinking alcohol in their life .

Speaker 1 23:40

Hmm .

Speaker 2 23:40

OK , so interesting . So there are certain features there which make for an outsider , makes it blatantly obvious . Ok .

Speaker 2 23:52

Yeah we agree that we don't don't want to swear here , but with your permission , with your permission , there is a . There's a saying in the , in the , in the recovery world , you can't bullshit a bullshitter . Yeah , we have been there , we have lied through our teeth , we have done it . So , therefore , I think for , for , for you and me . I think it's quite obvious when someone is in trouble and these people , however , don't believe that these people think that complete denial , everything , no one knows , it's all behind , behind closed doors . You're right , You're right . No , no , no .

Speaker 1 24:31

Yeah , it's funny because I tell my kids that all the time , like you'll never get away with anything because I've already done it and so I'm exactly , exactly right . But to your point . It's like , I guess , if somebody is wondering if they have an alcohol use disorder or you know , maybe a disorder and attachment to it , at the very least there probably is a problem , right ? Because people who are comfortable and have peace with what they're doing aren't asking themselves or questioning their habits . Would you agree ?

Speaker 2 25:08

I would , although we are masters in telling ourselves lies and we actually believe in them , and that is the crazy thing . So why don't we do a little test ? You are there for questions to you , and maybe to you too , christy , although I'm pretty certain how you will actually score in that . Ok , have you ever thought that you should cut back on your alcohol ? Question one have you ever gotten angry when other people were calling you out on the amount of alcohol you drank ? Have you ever felt guilty about the amount of alcohol that you drank , or about your drinking or the things you did when you were drunk ? Lastly , do you ever need an eye opener , which is basically a glass of alcohol or a sip of alcohol in the morning , to calm down the anxiety and calm down the hangover ? Four simple questions If you score two . If you score three , oh , come on . If you score four , welcome to the tribe . You've got the full entrance . Yay . So this is a simple screening questionnaire , the cage questionnaire that is used in many medical practices to quickly get an idea , and , as a good , self-loving alcoholic , you will score four , although that eye opener didn't actually do it much in my life . But in all fairness , yeah , I did the first three here , so it is what it is .

Speaker 2 26:44

I think you I want to look at it from a positive point of view Guys there's a life waiting for you . Right now , you're just about making do . That is probably true in many aspects of your life . Now , some of you , some of your listeners , will be beautifully rich wealthy either due to the inheritance or due to the hard work of probably others , maybe of themselves , because you don't really create fortunes when you're constantly drunk . Okay , so no , this is rare .

Speaker 2 27:22

Having said that , what do I want to say ? I want to say so many things , and I distract my thoughts here . You can do so much better . Once you ditch the drink , obviously , your creativity goes through the roof . You think you are creative and beautiful and your guitar playing is gorgeous when you're half drunk . Yeah , my bottom . No , no , no , no , no , no , no , no .

Speaker 2 27:50

Imagine what happens when you actually get sober and actually really puts a bit of effort in learning your guitar . Do you think your riffs will be cleaner ? Do you think your singing will be better because you're training better ? You're not sounding slurry speech like an Irish drunken pokes singer . No , so I think there is so much more waiting for you out there , those of you who think , yeah , I've got it . Look , no one knows that I'm drinking and I'm so successful . My peer , my mentor , was exactly in that boat and he thought no one knew . But everyone knew that he was a drunk , absolutely , but his contracts were ironclad so the people who were in business with him couldn't get out . That was the only reason they didn't run a mile away from him . So that was interesting . And then when he stopped drinking , people told him that and he thought , okay , they finally got honest with him .

Speaker 2 28:54

Exactly , exactly , right . So bottom line is , guys , it is , there's a life waiting out there for you , but that life is unfortunately a bit of a rocky road because you have to address all the rubbish in your life first , the trauma , maybe the poor decisions that you made in the past , because that was hard for me to actually admit that I'm part of the problem , that it's not all damn out there you are . You are so bad . Look what you did to me . Yeah , that was me . In a nutshell .

Speaker 1 29:28

Yeah .

Speaker 2 29:29

Nowadays . I know that , unfortunately , my actions have at times contributed to the problem , and that's sometimes hard to swallow .

Speaker 1 29:38

Yeah , it is . And once you start doing the work like I see people start doing the work and then backtrack , and one of the things that I was told in AA is or somebody said in AA was , when you're walking across hot coals , you don't want to turn around and go back , because then you just have to do it again . And so I've always had that visual in my head , Like yeah , it sucks .

Speaker 1 30:01

Like it hurts it hurts to have to say like I messed up and I did this and I'm so sorry and all of that , and feel the feelings which I completely do not like or appreciate . Sometimes I mean I've gotten better at it over the years , but you know so I've always had that in my mind . I don't want to turn around and go back only to have to do it again later .

Speaker 2 30:24

But also you can't go back , because you have started with a revelation , you have started with a huh and suddenly it is very painful . But you can't go back , you can't take that revelation back , you can't just push yourself back into the old you . That moment is gone . You are now that old person , plus one new revelation . And okay , what do you do with that ? You start digging , try to figure out . Maybe by looking into the trauma you suddenly see that you may have contributed to it .

Speaker 2 30:58

Now , that's a breakthrough , you might suddenly develop empathy towards the person that did you wrong , because you suddenly see the pain that they were in at that time . Again , a breakthrough that allows you to do . You might say , wow , I didn't just contribute , I was the problem , and you maybe want to make amends , you maybe want to go out there and make this world a better place and by again you have made a breakthrough and you again , you have moved forward to become a different person , and it's so beautiful . Once you do that . You suddenly become a different person where you actually develop gratitude in a much stronger way than you did , where you actually have the insights and the willingness to distribute joy .

Speaker 2 31:50

I get great pleasure out of treating the cleaner better than the CEO . I take great pleasure of putting a smile on random people's faces . I always will try to treat the checkout girl in a nice way those kind of things to just make a difference . My patients , every single patient I anesthetize , I break the eyes by seeing them in a clinic . We're having a good love , we have an abunter , and so I established good rapport with each of them because I know they're going through a hard time , they're going through a traumatic time and they have to have surgery due to trauma or whatever , but I leave them , hopefully , with a smile and by doing a good job in my profession , I guide them through a not nice time . So these are the opportunities I take to make this world a bit of a better place , and we all know the world needs it right now .

Speaker 2 32:50

So therefore and we have all this opportunity . We have all that . But when you're in the victim role , you only see yourself . When you're in the survivor role , you see the trouble around you but you don't care . You still look after yourself because you're the survivor . It's only when you come into the driver that you allow yourself to let go certain things in your life . God , grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can and with them , to know the difference . Two hundred three hundred years old that prior . But when I walked first into that rehabilitation center it was a big banner there . I read it and I thought , wow , how did they know how I feel ?

Speaker 2 33:36

Right how did they know ? Did they put that up for me ? I thought it was a personal message for me To a degree that I've got after rehab . I actually put it onto a little thing together here with my sobriety date , and it's just the weight of it reminds me . Okay , that's that mean that in the last nine years I've never had a relapse ? That's a rephrase . Did that mean that I've never had a lapse ? I distinguished it . Lapse means that you have some alcohol . Relapse means that you feel a fall back into your old life of hiding all the negative things that came along with it . Did I have a lapse ? Oh , hell , yes , and that's okay . It just tells me that I didn't look after myself .

Speaker 2 34:24

Nowadays I'm acutely aware of HALT , halt . Hungry , angry , lonely , tired . These are the four things that really are my triggers Hungry , angry , lonely , tired . So one of the things that are dodgy for me is , for example , to fasting . Intermittent fasting I call it . Well , it's nice , that's a very healthy thing to do . Let's not get it wrong . But if you're angry , lonely , tired and try to do intermittent fasting and keep yourself dehydrated , that's not clever .

Speaker 2 34:59

So in the mornings I often make a call . How do I feel ? I know exactly what my body would like Like . Yesterday I went into a really busy clinic and I decided no , I actually feel good , I want to do some fasting . So I didn't eat anything but I kept hydrated etc . And I felt really good , no trouble whatsoever . There are other days when that bites me in the bum because I have not got the emotional makeup on that day to have the strength and then by late afternoon I think , oh , glass of chardonnay would be so nice now to soothe these muscles . You know it's that kind of thing . So we are . It's a tricky one . It's a tricky one for us . So I think we need to be very acutely aware of the bottom of the base of the pyramid of needs and that safety , food , water and emotional connection . Down there , and only then up there is some of the spiritual enlightenment or whatever you wish . But look after the basics . That's really where good habits come in and we're looking after yourself comes in .

Speaker 1 36:06

Well , and that's what I feel like . So society is just feeding women right now and well , and everybody like , oh , you can't

Alcohol's Impact on Health and Society

Speaker 1 36:14

mother , well enough , you are doing all the things you're doing , you know this and that and blah , blah , blah .

Speaker 1 36:21

You know what's going to fix it a glass of wine or two , or a bottle , you know . And that's just not true . It's not healthy . Like it causes more anxiety , it causes more depression , it , you know , sleep is bad , which then , like you were saying with your , with what did you say , halt , you know . Then you're tired , then you're hungry because maybe you decided to have wine instead of food , because that happens a lot too , like we're trying to be healthy . I know women , like some of my clients , come to me . They're very healthy , like they run , they eat well , they do all these things , and then they drink wine at night and that's their calorie intake , versus like having dinner , and I'm just like .

Speaker 2 37:05

Oh my gosh .

Speaker 1 37:06

That's not a good idea . So , as a medical professional , I would ask you what ? How does that impact ? Like women or and men ? How does drinking alcohol affect our bodies , and is there any amount of alcohol that is safe to consume ?

Speaker 2 37:28

Oh , beautiful question . I love it , chris . The simple answer is every single question , every single class of wine , every single class of alcohol reduces your length on your length of life , the amount of days that you're on deserve . Every single class of alcohol reduces it . End of the story . Of course , if you are the liquor industry , then you want to convince people other way around . You want to basically create those advertisements that are there to show you that you , just if you drink this beautiful little , whatever liquor or whatever thing it is , you suddenly become young , sexy . The opposite members of the opposite sex float around you and your life will always be better without with constant beautiful people .

Speaker 2 38:27

Yeah , okay , but that's that's , that's what our brain tells us . What a rubbish . And in reality , that down there , that reptilian brains below the consciousness , oh yeah , give it to me , give it to me . So that's the problem . You are working against a multi million dollar business , multi billion dollar business . Let's be very clear about that . If you were to put the big liquor industries together and compare them as a country , as the power of a country , they would come 10th in the ranking of the world . Okay , so we are talking about a huge amount of money being spent . There are figures that there are two . What do you call them ? How do you call them ? Two influencers from the alcohol industry on Capitol Hill , for each and every senator that there is . Okay , so this is a huge thing and you see it because it's very powerful .

Speaker 2 39:29

So the first thing is around the world , people wanted to regulate the alcohol industry . So the alcohol industry said oh , no , no , no . And , by the way , you can't anyhow do that because we are multinational . How the hell can one government do that ? So get lost . But tell you what . We come halfway . So we call it drink responsibly . So now we're actually can do all the advertisement we want , we can sell as much as we want . And if you're in trouble , well , that's your problem , because you didn't drink responsibly . Okay , so how nice is that ? And then then we're getting clever because you said the mummy wine culture . Yes , we like it , but mummy is suddenly getting on a fitness trip , so she's going on to a spin cycle and she reads the back of the answers Wow , there are carbs in there . I can't have that .

Speaker 2 40:13

So the alcohol industry says sugar , sugar , sugar . What are we doing here ? And then they say look , let's think for a moment . Let's take water , let's put some alcohol in there . That's cheap so far . Put a bit of taste in there , that's cool . Maybe some lemon juice or something like that . So far , that costs us about one cent . Let's package it nicely . Let's call it heart seltzer , let's call it it's beautiful because it has no carbs , so you can just go out there . So you're selling water , alcohol and a bit of taste , which costs cents , and you make money out of it . And that's one of the hardest rising sellers out there , heart seltzers . So here you go . So you're against the huge industry out there .

Speaker 2 41:01

Okay , what does it do to you ? Okay , say hello to breast cancer , colon cancer , lung cancer , about seven , eight cancers that we know are directly linked to alcohol consumption . We're talking to the chronic pancreatitis . We are talking to the leaky gut syndrome . We are talking basically . It is a wrecking ball that is hammering through your whole system . In the past , for example , about 100 years ago , we had still sort of the beer was transported in big vats on a back of some horse drawn carriage and these people who were driving the horses , they had free access to the beer . So in Munich , where there's a lot of beer being drunk , the pathologists , the guy who cut you open after you die , they actually described the Munich beer driver's heart was about that size heart and it was just . The heart was completely necked from the alcohol , direct damage to it , the liver you know about liver cirrhosis etc . But all those kind of things .

Speaker 2 42:07

You think you're living a healthy life by drinking ? Oh , you know . But what about the Mediterranean lifestyle ? Yeah , about that . Okay so , yes , alcohol has always been part of the Mediterranean , but that is not what is meant with a Mediterranean food plan . Okay so , no , no , no , no , no , no . Mediterranean food plan is actually a mixture of intermittent fasting lots and lots of greens , lots and lots of healthy stuff , little meat , if at all , chicken and then and some fish , not so much red meat , certainly not many deserters . And whilst there are many things around Mediterranean , no , when you go in a typical Italian restaurant , no , that is not a Mediterranean lifestyle . Okay , let's be clear about that .

Speaker 2 42:56

So , therefore , every single class of alcohol reduces your lifespan . Does it mean to say you are never , ever , ever allowed to have a class of one ? No , but in all fairness , I know all the facts and I actually cherish my life . I love my life the way it is . I love my life and in the way that I can actually live my life to the fullest . And alcohol , if I drink it , it gives me a second wind . I can go out there and do whatever I need to do in a sort of not so coherent state . And then what ? I'm still tired , I'm still now hung over . The next day , the next day , is a write-off . Is that really so sensible ? Is that really what I want to do ?

Speaker 2 43:52

So , and sometimes we don't get it right all the time , some of us have lapses , some of us fall back into old behavior or some of us fall into the problem of cross addiction . So you're an alcoholic and you say I stopped drinking no more alcohol for me . And then there is not a sweet thing safe from you , Right ? And then you say , no , I stopped the sugar . And then you smoke like a chimney . And then you stop the smoking . And now in the pornography , you watch porn up , end to end . Okay , so that is where we move from one addiction to the other , by not addressing the underlying reasons why we try to escape our reality .

Speaker 2 44:33

So I think there are so many reasons why you may wish to think hard about the amount of alcohol you drink , and I challenge you to think what is important in your life ? What , not what ? But who do you want to be when you grow up ? And I don't care if you're 17 or 17 . Who do you want to be when you grow up ? Answer this question , but not with a glass of wine in the hand , okay ?

Speaker 1 45:04

Right .

Speaker 2 45:06

But answer this question and the chances are , alcohol probably has very little to do to help you to get there . It probably is actually stopping you to get there .

Speaker 1 45:16

Yeah , I love that .

Speaker 2 45:18

That was the story for me and that is just how I share . So I'm actually grateful that you allow me to share those thoughts , because it is so hard when you're in the middle of the darkness . You can't see the light . There might be a little glimmer of hope somewhere , but I couldn't see it , and I just want to tell you guys that there is hope . Honestly , believe me , there is hope , and in many ways , how you get there , and sometimes your angels they come in quite interesting disguises , so just be aware of that too .

Speaker 1 45:57

Yes , oh , my goodness , that is so good . Thank you so much , stefan , for just sharing your heart , sharing your story and sharing everything your knowledge . And you know people don't like to hear about like the adverse effects , especially with cancer and things like that . They think it's a scare tactic . But really , as you are saying , there's a freedom in you know , saying no , there's this freedom , and then you have this gratitude and then you want to share it with other people and that is what you're doing and I just love it so much and I am so grateful that you were here with me today . So for people , if they want to get in touch with you or read your book or find out more about you , where can they find you ?

Speaker 2 46:53

Go to mystepsdissapprietycom . It is my website , from which you have got links to my books , to any projects I'm involved in , to the impacts that I'm trying to leave on this world . So I work in a number of ways and , yeah , my Steps to Sopriety . It leads you to my show , it leads you to my social media , to everything Gives you extra information and , yeah , it is a beautiful journey to be on , so I invite you to come along . And it's the same for Christy . She is doing an amazing job . There's so many other people out there who are actually willing to be transparent , to be open about their own struggles , and that is really demystifying . Mental unwell-being Could call it illness , but I would say we all go through shitty times . Sorry , I needed to get one square .

Speaker 1 47:48

That's OK .

Speaker 2 47:50

No , you're fine . Sorry , I know I made you do self-watching . I tried so hard not to swear , so please , guys , don't ever give me , but it is . This is a weird world . There are a lot of things that are not great , but I think we need to accept that . Maybe instead of running away and hiding , we need to face the world , and you can probably do very little to stop the war in the Ukraine . You can probably very little to stop a new pandemic somewhere , but you can help yourself in the first instance and by doing so you model that you can live a meaningful life , and by just you doing that you might actually turn someone's life around . You might be the candle in the darkness of someone else and you have the power . You might not see it now , but I tell you , you have the power of changing yourself , of asking yourself the right questions . Who do I want to be when I grow up ? And then taking action , deliberate action every day , every minute , where you choose , where you can do choices . You can choose to have an Ekmekmuthin or something like that , and which is beautiful Sorry , I love those kind of things when I was raising around like a mad dog and in reality we nowadays .

Speaker 2 49:16

There are beautiful studies out there where people drew inflammatory markers from the blood after a one of one burger , basically , and you see the inflammatory markers going . So one single burger is inflammation in you , or you could actually do some home cooked something in there . You know , broccoli , beautiful chicken breast halved with some sauerkraut or kimchi or whatever a bit of fermented food in there . It will taste yummy and guess what your inflammatory markers doing ? So here you go . So you , it's your choice , any one moment . So live your life to the fullest . Listen to Christie's show , because I'm sure she has many , many , many more cool guests coming on and has cool , cool advice to you . So create this power team where the people around you , where you are the dumbest person in the team . So create those people around you who can help you and who can pull you forward .

Speaker 1 50:20

Yes , oh , thank you so much . Well , you are such a great guest and I just love your energy , I love what you're doing and I will share your website link and , yeah , all that good stuff in my show notes . So thank you so much for being here and and what's and what's to here .

Speaker 2 50:38

Press the like and subscribe button for her show , OK yeah , absolutely , Otherwise you don't know what's coming up .

Speaker 1 50:45

That's right . That's right . Thank you so much , and I'll look forward to talking to you again . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode

Catholic Sobriety Podcast Episode and Invitation

Speaker 1 50:58

and I would invite you to share it with a friend , who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic sobrietycoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time , and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .